Thursday, April 24, 2014

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Brackets IX-XII, Third Round (Matches 557-564)

BRACKET IX, Third Round (557 & 558):


 

Harley Race VS Roadkill, The Amish Chicken Plucker

Lo, The King shall reign over this pesant.  About five minutes.


 

Billy Kidman VS Loch Ness

I...think Billy Kidman is a little "out of his depth" if you know what I mean.  He's the size of one of Loch Ness's legs.


BRACKET X, Third Round (559 & 560):




 Daniel Bryan VS Eddie Guerrero

Holy Dream Match, Batman!  Sadly, this can never happen, since we lost Eddie in November '05.  But just think of the awesome possibilities!  Yes, Guerrero has mas experiece, and is beloved by everybody, but I've gotta go with Daniel Bryan.  The guy is just more well rounded.  (And that's sayin' somethin'.)


 

Dolph Ziggler VS Antonio Inoki

Sorry Show-Off, but it ain't showin' off when you're standin' next to the most suave lookin' motherfucker in the history of professional wrestling!  Seriously, look at this guy!  Is this not the suavest motherfucker you have ever seen?  Dude Inoki owns it (just like he used to own controlling steak in New Japan Pro!  Hooo!!!!).


BRACKET XI, Third Round (561 & 562):




 Tenzan VS "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes

Hope Tenzan put barbecue in his mouth guard, cuz he'll be eatin' a Bionic Elbow (if you weel).


 

Tito Santana VS Luke Gallows

Santana Ole's the big El Toro Luke Gallows in about 6:57.


BRACKET XII, Third Round (563 & 564):


 

Ray "The Crippler" Stevens VS A.J. Styles

Hey, guess what?  I actually watched a Ray Stevens match on Youtube on Sunday.  It probably wasn't one of his best, I'd say, but man, do I regret putting him over Jarrett.  I sure as hell won't put him over A.J. Styles.  The Phenomenal One is advancing to Round Four!


 

"Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers VS Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins, aka Tyler Black, is great.  He's a former ROH Champion, and his role as a member of The Shield has put him to the top of the card more than once.  But this is the original "Nature Boy" we're talking about.  He wasn't just a Champion, but a ring general.  By way of comparison, Rollins is just a Major.  Rogers takes the victory.


RECAP:

Harley Race defeats Roadkill
Loch Ness defeats Billy Kidman
Daniel Bryan defeats Eddie Guerrero
Antonio Inoki defeats Dolph Ziggler
Dusty Rhodes defeats Tenzan
Tito Santana defeats Luke Gallows
A.J. Styles defeats Ray "The Crippler" Stevens
Buddy Rogers defeats Seth Rollins

Come on back for Brackets XIII, XIV, XV and XVI!

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