Due to some technical difficulties, I can't get this blog to akk rite and render pictures. So we'll just have to run with all text today.
BRACKET XIII, Third Round (Matches 565 & 566):
Dick The Bruiser VS The Big Show
The Bruiser is a cigar chomping compatriot of The Crusher, a muscle-bound flat-topped bleach blonde who stomped plenty mudholes and did a fair amount of pedestian-based evaporation on the back end. The Big Show, however, barely needs to move to fuck up your whole day. One chop to the chest can cave in your rib cage. Show goes to Round Fo.
Earthquake VS "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Quake was a helluv an irresistible force and immovable object all in one man. But he was no match for the Madness Oooh, no. You will NEEEVER EVER ever be able to stop the Madness, no you won't. It's like a force of nature you just can't control, and yeah THE EARTHQUAKE is a force of nature, ooh yeah, BUUUT, the Madness will always be stronger, ooh, yeah. THE …
Harley Race VS Roadkill, The Amish Chicken Plucker
Lo, The King shall reign over this pesant. About five minutes.
Billy Kidman VS Loch Ness
I...think Billy Kidman is a little "out of his depth" if you know what I mean. He's the size of one of Loch Ness's legs.
BRACKET X, Third Round (559 & 560):
Daniel Bryan VS Eddie Guerrero
Holy Dream Match, Batman! Sadly, this can never happen, since we lost Eddie in November '05. But just think of the awesome possibilities! Yes, Guerrero has mas experiece, and is beloved by everybody, but I've gotta go with Daniel Bryan. The guy is just more well rounded. (And that's sayin' somethin'.)
Dolph Ziggler VS Antonio Inoki
Sorry Show-Off, but it ain't showin' off when you're standin' next to the most suave lookin' motherfucker in the history of professional wrestling! Seriously, look at this guy! Is this not the suavest motherfucker you have ever se…
Today, my guitar playin' buddy Mike told me there was a video of a friend of his doing crazy BMX tricks in his driveway on my Facebook wall. And lo and behold: THERE WAS! The Night Howls have a music video, ladies and gentelmen (sort of). Rock and roll.
Here is "Not Cleaning The Garage", aka "Old Man, Old Bike" by Donald Satanski:
Jackie Fargo VS Triple H
Jackie Fargo may have trained some of the best, but Triple H is one of the best. Believe In Evolution.
Monty Brown VS Chris Benoit
This is one that would have been smash mouthed, but when Brown would go for the Pounce, Benoit would sidestep him into the Crossface for the tapout. A brisk six minutes.
BRACKET VI, Third Round (Matches 551 & 552):
Alberto Del Rio VS "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Interesting matchup, but there's no way Austin would lose to ADR. About 14:38 for this one, then the Stunner, followed by a beer bath for e'erbody. (But because Austin can be a gracious motherfucker, he drenches Del Rio in Corona; also because WWE writing has never been great with subtlety.)
Bad News Brown VS Bobby Lashley
Allan "Bad News" Coage won the Bronze Medal for the U.S. in 1976 in Judo. The guy was legit. Lashley, however, not only has the action figure physique, the speed of a cat and th…
Bobo Brazil VS Luke Harper
This one is tough, as Harper's been killin' it lately, but Brazil is a legend, and killed it for many moons. Bobo in a good one.
Jim Londos VS "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry
Last night I stumbled on footage of Jim Londos wrestling Bronco Nagurski for the World Heavyweight Championship back in 1938. The film was not well preserved, but it still showed most, if not all of the contest, and if Londos could fend off Bronco strength wise, he could at least stand up to Mark Henry, one would think. Add his technique in, and you have the Greek Adonis going over the curator of the Hall of Pain.
BRACKET II, Third Round (Matches 543 & 544):
Eddie Edwards VS The Iron Sheik
All good things and all. Iron Sheik humbles Eddie Edwards around the 15-minute mark.
"Rugged" Ronnie Garvin VS "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce
Both men have held the NWA gold, but Peace did it in the last five…