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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXXIV (Matches 265-272)

 

David Flair VS Rocky Johnson

Both men: Second-Generation Stars.  But what sets them apart is one of these men is a former U.S. Champion.  Yes, that's right.  DAVID FLAIR WINS!!!

Yeah, I don't buy that for a minute either.  The Rock's dad would crush this guy.  Not as bad as Undertaker did in '02 (look it up), but bad.




Matt Borne VS "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka

Matt Borne was a good worker.  He brought Doink The Clown to life.  Without him, it was just another Wrestlecrap worthy character destined to die in the wind.  But "Superly" is Superfly.  No getting around the man, the myth, the legend that is Jimmy Snukka.  Superfly Splash and that's all she wrote.


 

Human Tornado VS Terry Funk

Terry Funk shouldn't be able to walk.  There was a documentary called "Behind The Mat" that showed him at a doctor's visit circa 1998 where he was told he had no cartilage left in either knee.  He still wrestles.  In 2005 I saw him in a triple threat barbed-wire match with Sabu and Shane Douglas.  Also, being that he comes from Texas, I think he could stand up to a Tornado.  He's probably had experience.  If you don't know who Terry Funk is, then maybe you should look him up.  He's kind of important.


 

Genichiro Tenryu VS "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

You know the sickening CRACK you hear when two elk butt antlers together?  That's the sound I imagine this match makes.  Tenryu is a former sumo wrestler who switched to All-Japan in 1976, and Hacksaw was once signed to the Atlanta Falcons.  I guess it depends on what continent this takes place.  In Japan, Tenryu is a guy who has three AJPW Triple Crowns and more than a few Match Of The Years, but in America has one Wrestlemania victory against Demolition (Smash & Crush) and two Royal Rumble appearances.  On the other hand, in America "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is one of the few wrestlers who became a true household name, won the first Royal Rumble, won the King Of The Ring crown from Haku, and is a WWE Hall Of Famer.  In Japan, he won the IWA Championship, but that company was only around for two years.

As good as Tenryu is, can you really see him going over Hacksaw?  Nah, me neither.


 

Cedric Alexander VS Eric Young

This would be a decent little matchup; both guys can go.  EY may play silly characters, but make no mistake the guy is talented as all get-out, and when he gets serious he can do some amazing things.  Young FTW.




 "The Scissor King" Joe Stecher VS Firebreaker Chip

Back in 1991, there was a tag team of a soldier and a fireman, with "WCW Special Forces" being billed as their hometown.  That is literally all there is of note from this team.  Joe Stecher is the first man in history to regain a World Championship, doing so in 1920 against the man that took it off him, Earl Caddock.  (He's also the first three time world champion.  Ever.)  I think that makes things pretty clear here.


 

Rory McAllister VS Hector Garza

Hector Garza (God rest his soul) was a pretty damn good X-Division guy.  Rory...was one half of a tag team I didn't remember existed until looking up names for this tournament.  Garza in six.


 

Abdullah The Butcher VS "Hollywood" John Tatum

Y'know, funniest thing.  While Abdullah was about to cut John Tatum open, his old manager Skandor Akbar comes down to the ring to try and give The Butcher some advice.  When Abdullah bends closer, Akbar throws powder in his eyes, Tatum schoolboys him and 1-2-3, the biggest upset in the entire bracket!  After the match, standing over a prone and blinded Butcher, Skandor can be heard saying "That's for bleeding all over the place when you have Hep-C you son of a bitch" or something to that effect.  Can't imagine why...


RECAP:

Rocky Johnson defeats David Flair
Superfly defeats Matt Borne
Terry Funk defeats Human Tornado
Hacksaw defeats Tenryu
Eric Young defeats Cedric Alexander
Joe Stecher defeats Firebreaker Chip
Hector Garza defeats Rory
John Tatum defeats Abdullah The Butcher


Going forward, I'm only going to be posting these Monday through Friday, because I need time to write them.  That's the compromise.  But, yo.  Come on back Monday for Bracket XXXV!

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