THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXXVIII (297-304)

 

"Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner VS "Boston Bad Boy" Tony Rumble

I only knew Tony Rumble from the ESPN slander piece on Pro Wrestling done in 1999.  He was a promoter/wrestler in a Northeastern NWA territory.  God bless the dead, but even he would book himself to lose against the Genetic Freak.

 

Larry "The Ax" Hennig VS Jeremy Buck

This is such a mismatch.  Think of a piece of meat flopping against a cutting board, then being tenderized.  Young Master Buck is that piece of meat.

Buck Quartermain VS Pat Tanaka

As it would have been on Superstars in the early 90's, Tanaka gets the duke.

 Shane McMahon VS Ken "Mr." Anderson (aka Mr. Kennedy)

Shane will try some crazy jumping off the highest fucking thing he can find stunt, only to crash and burn, leaving Mr. Anderson not only victorious, but vindicated.

 

Timothy Well VS Kato (aka Paul Diamond)

Kato in seven.

 

Jerry Flynn VS Gary Wolfe (aka Pit Bull 1)

The Pit Bull will chew up the karate man and rend him with mad mandibles, yo.

 Brian Knobs VS Jerry Sags

Does the universe implode if this happens?  These matchups were picked at random, remember.  Okay, how do you figure out which wrestler wins when their move sets and skills are practically identical?  Easy.  Knobs once one the WCW Hardcore title.  And, including when the belt actually existed, for the first time in HISTORY, that title means something.  It is the only tie breaker I can think of between these two.  Knobs in a mess.

Mark Briscoe VS Sika

Sika is one half of the legendary Wild Samoans, brother to Afa, and co-holder of more tag titles with the man than any team except The Dudleys.  However...Mark Briscoe is an eight time ROH Tag Team Champion (not too shabby), and is just as good as his brother, who has won that company's World Title.  In a singles match, I gotta give it to the purveyor of Red Neck Kung-Fu.


RECAP:

Scott Steiner defeats Tony Rumble
Larry The Ax defeats Jeremy Buck
Pat Tanaka defeats Buck Quartermain
Mr. Anderson defeats Shane-O-Mac
Kato defeats Timothy Well
Gary Wolfe defeats Jerry Flynn
Brian Knobs defeats Jerry Sags
Mark Briscoe defeats Sika

Come on back for Bracket XXXIX!