Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XLIII (Matches 337-344)

 

"The Russian Bear" Ivan Koloff VS "Unbreakable" Michael Elgin

Ivan Koloff.  The man that dethroned Bruno Sammartino from the longest world title reign in the history of planet Earth.  After almost eight fucking years as champion, THIS guy is the one who would finally pin Bruno's shoulders to the mat.


And I'm still picking Michael Elgin to win.

It's not even because Koloff's reign was a mere 21 days.  Michael Elgin is an absolute bear in a way Koloff could never even dream of.  This guy might even be better than Samoa Joe.  He's on that Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Davey Richards/AJ Styles/Eddie Edwards level of talent, just waiting to break through, but he's got a body like a fucking barrel and it's 100 percent muscle.  If ROH has any brains, they'll put the belt on him before 2015.  And if it was him back then, he'd be the guy to get revenge for Bruno instead of Pedro Morales.  (Though not without a fight.)


 

Jake "The Milkman" Milliman VS Genki Horiguchi

Jake Milliman may have been the guy who won the last match in AWA history (a battle royal), but it was the match before that, a raw turkey on a pole match in a sound studio with no audience because they couldn't draw one, that was his most famous victory.  That's not a knock on the guy, it's just a frickin' weird distinction.  Anyway, Genki Horiguchi is one half of one of the best fucking tag teams I've ever seen in my life, so I think he goes over.  Like literally over Milliman's head doing some crazy shit you've never seen before.


 

"Flyboy" Rocco Rock VS Mike Bennett

This might sound like a no-brainer, but I'm bucking convention.  Rocco Rock was one half of Public Enemy, who were a good tag team, and the dude has a lot more experience behind him than Bennett, but this Bennett kid has something going on in that there ROH deal.  He's already put together some good matches with Lance Storm, Steve Corino, Jay Lethal and Jerry Lynn, and from what I've seen, I think the dude will go far.  I give him the duke.


 

Christian VS Tommaso Ciampa

Tommaso Ciampa is another ROH blue chipper (in fact, is their TV Champion).  He's got that Antonio Cesarro kind of vibe, but with a patch of unstable heel in his makeup.  I think if he and Christian squared off it would be simply amazeballs.  In the end though, Christian would be able to tame the wild Sicilian (really, he's from Boston, but Shhhh; Kayfabe).  Laugh if you want, but Christian's put together a hell of a career, and can still go.  (Dude is a Grand Slam Champion in WWE, and has four World Titles on his resume.  In fact, he's held every belt besides the Women's Title WWE has had to offer since he's debuted there.)




Stan Hansen VS Lex Luger

Strictly because Luger won their feud in WCW in 1990, I'm going with Lex.


 

Greg Gagne VS Boris Zukhov

I don't remember Boris Zukhov winning a match, frankly.  I know he must have, but really all he did was be a 350lb. bad luck charm for Nikolai Volkoff.  Greg Gagne at least had some skills.  And probably beat Zukhov in AWA at some point, so I go with him.




 Shawn Stasiak (aka Meat) VS Dino Bravo

The Canadian Strongman would muscle this slab into submission.  Bravo in six.


 

Brad Rheingans VS Giant Gonzales

Brad Rheingans is an incredible, legit wrestler.  Giant Gonzales couldn't really work very well.  But he was a legit 7'7".  (Look at him standing outside of a ring and see the eight foot tall ring posts next to him.  Yeah.  Pretty close, right?)  I just don't see Rheingans shooting his way out of this one.  (And if he tries, Earl is the ref; #jussayin'.)


RECAP:

Michael Elgin defeats Ivan Koloff
Genki Horiguchi defeats Jake Milliman
Michael Bennett defeats Rocco Rock
Christian defeats Tommaso Ciampa
Lex Luger defeats Stan Hansen
Greg Gagne defeats Boris Zukhov
Dino Bravo defeats Shawn Stasiak
Giant Gonzales defeats Brad Rheingans

Come on back for bracket XLIV!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Update Wrap-Up

Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Matchup 172

Anthrax "Impaled" (2016) VS Megadeth "Dystopia" (2016) VS Metallica "Atlas, Rise!" (2016) VS Slayer "Jihad" (Live from Sofia, Bulgaria) (2010)

Unfortunately, Anthrax drew the short straw here, as "Impaled" is a middling intro that, on top of being a bit of a non-song, goes on a hair too long for its own good.

"Dystopia" is a solid, upbeat fist-pumper that was a no-brainer to make the first single off the album of the same name.  It may seem a little milquetoast for the first half, but once the "single" part falls away, it reveals a banger in the back half that makes you remember why you like this stuff in the first place.  It'll take more than one listen to realize how cool this song is, but on play two or three you'll be nodding your head with a pleased scowl on your face.

My first impression of "Atlas, Rise!" was "This is the most average Metallica song ever."  Like if you took all the Met…

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Matchup 178

Anthrax "Suzerain" (2016) VS Megadeth "Conquer Or Die!" (2016) VS Metallica "ManUNkind" (2016) VS Slayer "Cast The First Stone" (2015)

"Suzerain" is your pentennial reminder that Charlie Bennante don't fuck around.  Definitely the most fiery song on "For All Kings", and probably the closest to the old Anthrax as we're going to get ever again.  Bang your head in reflection.

"Conquer Or Die!" is more old school, though whether that works for or against it is up to you.  It's the three minute instrumental interlude.  This one is...fine.  Honestly, it's better than fine when compared to the song I have to review next, so I shan't complain too loudly.  But it is a song you wouldn't exactly miss if it fell off the face of the planet either.

"ManUNkind" was the point where I stopped giving "Hardwired...To Self-Destruct" the benefit of the doubt and started dreading the fact that I h…