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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXXVII (Matches 289-296)



Ken Patera VS Aguila (aka Esse Rios)

Here's a Sophie's Choice: Which would have been worse?  Wrestlemania IV as it actually played out, with the long and oft maligned tournament, or if Ken Patera had rejoined the Heenan Family, become the top heel in the company, and challenged Hulk Hogan in the main event?  If that'd happened (like his Wikipedia page rumors), no Savage title reign, no Mega Powers, no Mega Powers Exploding (and no Miss Elizabeth upskirt at the first SummerSlam, you pervs).  The mere fact Patera was even considered for the slot (plus his Olympic Power Lifting background) is enough to put him over the guy whose career accomplishments are a) Losing to Taka Michinoku at Wrestlemania XIV (in a great match, by the way) and b) Being the first guy Lita ever managed. 


 

Homicide VS Doug Furnas

Doug Furnas is cool, a good mat wrestler & all, but Homicide turns bodies cold, or used to before he became a Botchamaniac.  But this is about wrestlers in their prime, and in his prime Homicide was pretty loco, main.


 

D-Ray 3000 VS Bruce Hart

Even though I never liked Bruce Hart, you can't deny he'd mop the floor with this guy.


 

Ed "The Strangler" Lewis VS Johnny Swinger

Ed "The Strangler" Lewis is one of the most revered World Champions in history.  He trained Lou Thez, for fuck's sake.  He even formed the first major wrestling promotion with Toots Mondt & Billy Sandow, The Gold Dust Trio, helping to shape the idea of undercards, feuds and storylines.  He also could outwrestle anybody on the planet if someone didn't want to do business in the ring, so if they did lose face, it wasn't for long.  Johnny Swinger...I can't even really remember, sadly enough.  I know he kinda looked like Crowbar from WCW, and might have been in WCW, but...he has NO chance in this one.  Absolutely none.


 

Dan "The Beast" Severn VS Kevin Nash

Big Sexy has the backstage stroke to get around some UFC guy.  (Even a UFC guy who has a record of 101-19-2, has been inducted into the UFC Hall Of Fame and was the only Triple Crown Champion in UFC history?  Not to mention the two NWA titles he strapped on after getting out of the Octagon?)  Nash isn't all politics, of course.  He's a six-time World Champion, a former IC champ and is at least 6'9", 300lbs. (they bill him at 7', but in real life he seems a little shorter, oddly enough).  Nash wins all the same.


 

Mr. T VS Paul Roma

Mr. T was kind of a flop as a wrestler, despite main eventing the first two Wrestlemanias.  But still, Paul Roma is the guy that...sort of is in the WWE Hall Of Fame?  (Not really; they only inducted the original Four Horsemen; this also excludes Chris Benoit or, even worse, MONGO.)  The fact he was one of the Horsemen for a cup of coffee in 1993 is...forgotten by most, as is most of this guy's career.  But I remember.  Even so, he would still lose to T, since T was a legit tough guy that got a push.




 "Big" John Studd VS Lizmark Jr.

One of the sport's legit bigmen, Studd would power bomb this cruiserweight the fuck to oblivion.


 

Kenny King VS Doug Williams

Both are really good, and criminally underutilized by TNA (I don't think Williams is even in the company full time anymore), but Doug Williams has the technical advantage, plus much better X-Division Title runs than King.


RECAP:

Ken Patera defeats Aguila
Homicide defeats Doug Furnas
Bruce Hart defeats D-Ray 3000
Ed Lewis defeats Johnny Swinger
Kevin Nash defeats Dan Severn
Mr. T defeats Paul Roma
"Big" John Studd defeats Lizmark Jr.
Doug Williams defeats Kenny King

Come on back for Bracket XXXVIII!

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