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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXI (Matches 161-168)



Jimmy "Jam" Garvin VS "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff

Even with an atrophied T-Rex arm, Paul Orndorff would be able to take out the chunkier, less charismatic half of the Freebirds Mark II.




Louie Spicolli VS Daniel Puder

A battle of what could've been.  Louie Spicolli was just starting a program with Larry Zbyszko as a member of the n.W.o. when he overdosed and died on Soma pills.  Daniel Puder had such a chip on his shoulder that when he was in Tough Enough he shot on Kurt Angle (tried to wrestle him for real, not cum on him), and almost broke the former Olympian's arm with a Kimura lock, which meant his career was pretty much done, despite winning that season of the show.

Okay, all that aside, who would win?  This is a tough one, because there's not much to go on from either.  Instinct tells me Puder because of his skill set, but part of me wants Spicolli to go over due to his experience.  (He was a jobber from '88-'95.)  But as I typed that, I realize I have to give it to Puder.  Spicolli was getting a push in WCW, and had done a handful of things in ECW, but mostly he was a lackey or jobber.  Puder came in with potential and never really lost it.  He just acted like a jackass backstage and onscreen.  So Puder goes over.  Deal with it.




Bull Buchanan VS Tug Taylor

Buchanan is kind of underrated; the guy could move even if he wasn't the most skilled or charismatic cat in the biz.  Tug Taylor had some mat technique, and a hairy, shirtless 350 pound frame to back it up.  But I think Bull would be able to handle dude.  Besides, Chaz came out of Tug's ballsac, and like I said back in Bracket XIX, fuck that guy.




The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea VS Hernandez

The Artist gimmick could've been something if it weren't for WCW...actually that sentence kinda finished itself, didn't it?  Anyway, Hernandez is still in the business of flattening people when they let him, so don't expect this match to last more than three minutes.




Umaga VS Caprice Coleman

Umaga was named for flattening people.  The Samoan Bulldozer would stomp this ROH tag team specialist into the mat and absorb his remains into a new tribal tatoo.




Jerry Lynn VS Trent Barreta

Dude, Trent Barreta is okay, but Jerry Lynn is incredible.  This would be a decent match, going about 6:25 before Mr. JL gets the duke.





Andre The Giant VS Professor Toru Tanaka

I think Andre wins this, even if Professor Tanaka came out as Sub Zero from The Running Man.




Rick Steiner VS "Jumping" Jim Brunzell

The Dog Faced Gremlin is just too strong for the former Killer Bee.  Brunzell threw one of the best dropkicks in history, but it's not enough against someone built as solid as Rick Steiner.  Four minutes tops.



RECAP:

Paul Orndorff defeats Jimmy Garvin
Daniel Puder defeats Louie Spicolli
Bull Buchanan defeats Tug Taylor
Hernandez defeats The Artist Formerly etc. etc.
Umaga defeats Caprice Coleman
Jerry Lynn defeats Trent Barretta
Andre The Giant defeats Professor Tanaka
Rick Steiner defeats Jim Brunzell

See you tomorrow for bracket XXII!

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