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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXX (Matches 233-240)



The Demon (aka Dale Torborg) VS The Ultimate Warrior

A battle of facepaint for the ages!  The winner is that who breathes the air that SMELLS of combat!  WARIAAAAAGGGH!!!!!




Jimmy Jacobs VS Bobby Duncam Jr.

When I made these brackets this might've been a tossup, but since Jacob's match with ROH Champion Adam Cole, I have to give this one to the Vampire Princess.  He really showed his mettle.




Sin Cara VS Kamala The Ugandan Giant

Doesn't matter who's under the hood, Sin Cara's gettin' cannibalized.




Yoshihiro Tajiri VS Chris Youngblood

The Japanese Buzzsaw would cut this would-be totem poll to shreds, homie.




Masato Tanaka VS Lou Thez

It would be an interesting matchup, no doubt.  Masato Tanaka was tough as nails; he could take a Mike Awesome powerbomb from the ring through a table on the floor and still kick out at two.  Lou Thez was NWA Champion for a total time longer than anyone in history however (in fact, has the longest continuous reign as champion), and invented the powerbomb, as well as the STF, the belly-to-back suplex (Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit thank you handily, good sir) and of course the Thez Press (aka the Dick-To-Mouth; look the thing up on YouTube, you'll see what I mean).  Oh, and by the way, he just happens to have been trained by Ed "The Strangler" Lewis and Ray Steele.  And happens to be the youngest World Champion in any federation's history (in fact he won it twice before the NWA was invented.)  Thez is just too much for the ex-ECW champion to handle.  But holy shit would it be a fun one to watch to see these two go at it.




Scott Hall VS Santino Marella

I think the Bad Guy has every answer in the world for The Cobra.  There'll be comedy and possibly a dueling-abdominal stretches spot, but Hall's got this one in the bag.




"Maniac" Mike Davis VS Billy Jack Haynes

"I'ma shoot me some Indians.  They say I'm crazy, but then they gave me a gun." -Mike Davis, cutting a promo on The Youngbloods while holding a Super Soaker, GWF, 1992.  Who the hell can stop that?  Certainly not "I was 10 times better than Hulk Hogan!  I should be the biggest name in wrestling history" sour-grape ass muthatfucka Billy Jack Haynes.  Davis takes it.




Sheamus VS Bruiser Brody

This is one the more intriguing matchups in the tournament.  Bruiser Brody was 6'8" 240lbs and helped innovate the unruly, brawling style a lot of wrestlers use today.  Sheamus is a legit 6'6", 240 also, and uses a hard-nosed style with foundations in what Brody started.  I think Sheamus has Brody in the strength department, but not by much.  Brody was also trained by The Sheik (Sabu's uncle, not The Iron Shiek), so you know he straight up just doesn't give a fuck.  There's one time in a cage match with Lex Luger where he just...stopped selling.  Luger was leaving the territory and wouldn't "do the favor" on the way out by putting someone over, so Brody just ruined the match by no-selling everything, forcing Bill Alfonso to concoct a reason to DQ Luger on the fly (in a frickin' cage match, mind you) just to get the hell outta there.

All that aside, I think it would be an absolute dream match, but Sheamus would edge Brody due to his ability to throw a little science in there.  Controversial yes, but this my tournament.  Don't like it?  Tell me why I'm wrong in the comments, and I'll be happy to discuss it.


RECAP:

The Ultimate Warrior defeats The Demon
Jimmy Jacobs defeats Bobby Duncam Jr.
Kamala defeats Sin Cara
Tajiri defeats Chris Youngblood
Lou Thez defeats Masato Tanaka
Scott Hall defeats Santino Marella
Mike Davis defeats Billy Jack Haynes
Sheamus defeats Bruiser Brody

Come on back for Bracket XXXI!

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