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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XVI (Matches 121-128)


Brian "Spanky" Kendrick VS Justin Credible

Would be a helluva match, but I gotta give the edge to Credible, who may have been the final ECW Champion that had a title reign that meant something.




Danny Hodge VS Baron Von Raschke

Whooo, this is a toughee.  (And so are both men, to this day.)  Danny Hodge's Wikipedia picture is him crushing an apple with his right hand on the floor of the Oklahoma State Senate from May of this year.  The guy's 80.  Oh, and he also won a Silver medal at the 1956 Olympics for Freestyle Wrestling.  Baron Von Raschke was also an incredible amateur wrestler, a two time All American, a member of the 1964 U.S. Olympic Wrestling Team and a Worldwide Interservice Wrestling Champion (that's where the armies of the world put guys in a ring and see who's best).  The main differences are Raschke's size advantage and his pedigree as the first NWA Television Championship.  I give the master of The Claw the edge and the victory.




Bart Gunn VS Brock Fucking Lesnar

Fucking is, of course, not really his middle name, but ladies and gentleman, it should be.  This guy can legitimately destroy anyone he gets in the ring (or octagon) with, and ironically enough, that goes for the Brawl For All champion as well.  Short work for the Minnesota native.




Mr. Hughes VS Rob Van Dam

I always liked Mr. Hughes, more than he probably deserved, but hey.  I was a kid.  RVD, however, would win this contest pretty handily.




Rosey (S.uper H.ero I.n T.raining) VS "The Prince Of Punk" Shannon Moore

Believe it or not, I'm going with Shannon Moore.  'Round 2010 he was turning into a real interesting singles competitor, and then he just disappeared.  (Ink Inc. was cool too.)  Rosey never really got off the ground. (Get it?)  (And if anybody disputes this outcome, just look up the book of DILLIGAF, page Yo Mama.) 




Nikolai Volkoff VS Norman Smiley

The Big Wiggle ain't gonna be enough against this Soviet Anthem singing Russian Bear.




Gunner VS Pete Gas

Yeah, the Mean Street Posse's goin' 0-3 in the opening round.  Gunner The Modern Day Viking for the victory.




Jean Pierre LaFitte VS Koko B. Ware

I personally think Koko B. Ware's induction into the Hall Of Fame is a joke, especially in light of the exclusion of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Owen Hart (who was Ware's tag team partner, though Owen's widow Martha is making DAMN sure her late husband never gets his due by suing the crap out of the company every time he's even mentioned on TV).  Koko B. Ware never really did anything.  Name one big match he won.  Name one title he held.  Name one angle you remember him doing.  YOU CAN'T.  He was in a limbo between mid-card and jobber.  Dude was just kinda...there.  Whereas Jean Pierre LaFitte held the tag belts three times and feuded with Bret Hart back in '95.  (Also held the WCW Hardcore title for a few hours, but that belt barely counts.  And he was awarded it by Lance Storm.)  The legitimately one-eyed eye patch wearer goes over the guy that brought a parrot to the ring, and leaves with Frankie in the process because HOLY SHIT WHY DID THIS STORY LINE NEVER HAPPEN BEFORE?!?!?!?


RECAP:

Justin Credible defeats Brian "Spanky" Kendrick
Baron Von Raschke defeats Danny Hodge
Brock Lesnar defeats Bart Gunn
RVD defeats Curtis Hughes
Shannon Moore defeats Rosey
Nikolai Volkoff defeats Norman Smiley
Gunner defeats Pete Gas
Jean Pierre LaFitte defeats Koko B. Ware

Tune in next time for bracket X-Seven!  (Or XVII even!)

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