Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XVI (Matches 121-128)


Brian "Spanky" Kendrick VS Justin Credible

Would be a helluva match, but I gotta give the edge to Credible, who may have been the final ECW Champion that had a title reign that meant something.




Danny Hodge VS Baron Von Raschke

Whooo, this is a toughee.  (And so are both men, to this day.)  Danny Hodge's Wikipedia picture is him crushing an apple with his right hand on the floor of the Oklahoma State Senate from May of this year.  The guy's 80.  Oh, and he also won a Silver medal at the 1956 Olympics for Freestyle Wrestling.  Baron Von Raschke was also an incredible amateur wrestler, a two time All American, a member of the 1964 U.S. Olympic Wrestling Team and a Worldwide Interservice Wrestling Champion (that's where the armies of the world put guys in a ring and see who's best).  The main differences are Raschke's size advantage and his pedigree as the first NWA Television Championship.  I give the master of The Claw the edge and the victory.




Bart Gunn VS Brock Fucking Lesnar

Fucking is, of course, not really his middle name, but ladies and gentleman, it should be.  This guy can legitimately destroy anyone he gets in the ring (or octagon) with, and ironically enough, that goes for the Brawl For All champion as well.  Short work for the Minnesota native.




Mr. Hughes VS Rob Van Dam

I always liked Mr. Hughes, more than he probably deserved, but hey.  I was a kid.  RVD, however, would win this contest pretty handily.




Rosey (S.uper H.ero I.n T.raining) VS "The Prince Of Punk" Shannon Moore

Believe it or not, I'm going with Shannon Moore.  'Round 2010 he was turning into a real interesting singles competitor, and then he just disappeared.  (Ink Inc. was cool too.)  Rosey never really got off the ground. (Get it?)  (And if anybody disputes this outcome, just look up the book of DILLIGAF, page Yo Mama.) 




Nikolai Volkoff VS Norman Smiley

The Big Wiggle ain't gonna be enough against this Soviet Anthem singing Russian Bear.




Gunner VS Pete Gas

Yeah, the Mean Street Posse's goin' 0-3 in the opening round.  Gunner The Modern Day Viking for the victory.




Jean Pierre LaFitte VS Koko B. Ware

I personally think Koko B. Ware's induction into the Hall Of Fame is a joke, especially in light of the exclusion of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Owen Hart (who was Ware's tag team partner, though Owen's widow Martha is making DAMN sure her late husband never gets his due by suing the crap out of the company every time he's even mentioned on TV).  Koko B. Ware never really did anything.  Name one big match he won.  Name one title he held.  Name one angle you remember him doing.  YOU CAN'T.  He was in a limbo between mid-card and jobber.  Dude was just kinda...there.  Whereas Jean Pierre LaFitte held the tag belts three times and feuded with Bret Hart back in '95.  (Also held the WCW Hardcore title for a few hours, but that belt barely counts.  And he was awarded it by Lance Storm.)  The legitimately one-eyed eye patch wearer goes over the guy that brought a parrot to the ring, and leaves with Frankie in the process because HOLY SHIT WHY DID THIS STORY LINE NEVER HAPPEN BEFORE?!?!?!?


RECAP:

Justin Credible defeats Brian "Spanky" Kendrick
Baron Von Raschke defeats Danny Hodge
Brock Lesnar defeats Bart Gunn
RVD defeats Curtis Hughes
Shannon Moore defeats Rosey
Nikolai Volkoff defeats Norman Smiley
Gunner defeats Pete Gas
Jean Pierre LaFitte defeats Koko B. Ware

Tune in next time for bracket X-Seven!  (Or XVII even!)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE GRUNGE MATCH - Conclusion

This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

WHAT THE HELL IS A BLOG? - iTunes Music Reviews, April 2018

Being that it's been more than a year since I've attempted one of these and iTunes is gonna stop selling mp3's next year, this is probably my next to last chance to do this sort of thing.  I started doing hot take reviews of albums based off nothing but 30 second iTunes previews in 2007, and if I'd been smart, I'd've transitioned to YouTube with them in about 2009.  I didn't, so here we are.  If reading a slightly older gentleman trying to temper his apathy and vexation at modern pop music and give it a fair shake (or trying to be funny when shitting on things that he can't resist shitting on) is your jam, step up to the dance floor!

Scoring system goes from 0 stars (sometimes negative if it goes the extra mile of horrible) to five stars (which has happened three times in 11 years of doing this, and I'd take every one of them back because that's the thing with hot takes).  Here we go!


Cardi B "Invasion Of Privacy" ❂ & 1/2
(or ❂❂, dep…

WHO IS CHAMPION OF WRESTLEMANS?!?!? Wrestlemania IV VS Wrestlemania 34

Welcome to this crazy, ridiculous idea.  So, I've done current Wrestlemania cards VS old Wrestlemania cards before, but this one is different.  Wrestlemania IV was dominated by a one night tournament for the vacant WWF title (the only time Vacant got to main event Mania!).  It had a handful of other matches, but it was mostly about the fourteen man tournament for the belt.  So we're gonna do a 32-man tournament for the crown of Wrestlemania Champion!

Here's how it shakes out: I picked sixteen wrestlers from Wrestlemania 34 (one of which isn't official, but they've teased Undertaker so goddam hard I would be forgiven if it turns out to be an elaborate swerve) and sixteen from Wrestlemania IV.  I had to include the participants of the Intercontinental Title match from that one as well, since the tournament only had 14 wrestlers.  (Hogan & Andre got a first round bye and it was a whole thing.)  For this year, I picked the participants from the WWE and Universal t…