Skip to main content



Steve Corino VS Ludvig Borga

Ludvig Borga might have sucked the big one, but his unstoppableness would unfortunately see Steve Corino flattened like a pancake.  92 seconds on this one.


"Captain" Lou Albano VS Kane

Ditto this one.  Big Red Monster in 0:30.


Glacier VS Barry Windham

This one would take a little longer, but Barry Windham comes out on top in 5:14.  Just your average WCW Saturday Night warm-up for the second round.


Bray Wyatt VS Jerry Brisco

Ooh.  This one is interesting.  Bray Wyatt is hot as fuck right now, with him and his Family running roughshod over everybody in the WWE (especially the main event players), but he's brand new.  What else do I have to gauge his career on, Husky Harris?  Even then he was an infrequent competitor lost in a five man faction.  Gerald Brisco on the other hand, has the opposite problem.  The only times I saw him wrestle were for the Hardcore Championship (which he won) and the infamous Evening Gown match with fellow septuagenarian Pat Patterson.  (During which Crash Holly came in and won the Hardcore title from Patterson.  It was the Attitude Era; deal with it.)  Anyway, despite all that Brisco has this great pedigree that I'm aware of that I never bore witness to, and Bray Wyatt is an intriguing character capable of awesome things I haven't bore witness to yet.  So who wins?  I think in a one-on-one, Wyatt would have a slight edge due to his towering unorthodoxy, even against a ring general like Brisco.  Then, the Wyatt Family will probably get involved somehow, and the heel wins either way.  Follow the Buzzards in 7:53.


Cody Rhodes VS Giant Silva

Given that Cody has technically beaten The Big Show (it was a tables match and Show's leg got knocked off the apron, causing him to step through a table, but whatever), I think he'd be able to take Giant Silva.  Despite being a legit Kickboxer with K-1 Pridefighting and a legit 7'2", also despite beating Akebono in a legit K-1 Match with a Kimura lock (something Big Show was unable to do at Wrestlemania 21, though that was a sumo match but still...)...point is dude could move.  I've seen him vault over the top rope like Macho Man used to do onto the floor.  Thing is though, Cody Rhodes will be world champion someday, and this is the beginning of his breakthrough period.  The Giant would put forth a valiant effort, but it's Cody in 9:12.


Darren Young VS "Dirty" Dutch Mantell (aka Zeb Coulter)

This match could technically happen now, but ol' Dutch's prime was back in the early 80's.  Darren Young is a guy I hope hasn't hit     his prime yet, and I'd argue he hasn't.  Looking into my crystal ball, (especially if he winds up in TNA) he'll get a singles title down the road and have some impressive matches.  The thing is, Dutch won the AWA Southern championship five times, right in Jerry "The King" Lawler's backyard, as well as the Mid-South TV title.  Not a mind-blowing list of accomplishments, but add that and his clean win as a face against The King in Memphis, and Dutch goes over the Young one.  6:54.


Marty Jannetty VS Billy Robinson

Marty Jannetty, a man who basically was on Shawn Michaels' level but was his own worst enemy.  I firmly believe Jannetty/Michaels would have been one of the best WWF World title feuds of the 90's had Jannetty had his fucking shit together, but he kept doing drugs and beating girls.  Billy Robinson was the real deal, a shoot wrestler that became a worker in the 1970's AWA.  All told however, I have to give the edge to Jannetty, because he really could have been WWF Champ if he'd had some sense.  (With the classic Winged Eagle belt, no less.)  Still, it'd probably be a great matchup, something similar I'd imagine to Jannetty's 2005 square off against Kurt Angle, but this time with a different result.  (And about four minutes shorter to boot.  15:21.)


Balls Mahoney VS Amazing Red

As "Amazing" as Red truly is, I feel like Balls would just swat him out of the air, trademark steel chair in hand or no.  2:45  (Addendum: Wouldn't it be great if these two formed a tag team called "Red Balls"?)


Ludvig Borga defeats Steve Corino
Kane defeats "Captain" Lou Albano
Barry Windham defeats Glacier
Bray Wyatt defeats Jerry Brisco
Cody Rhodes defeats Giant Silva
Dutch Mantel defeats Darren Young
Marty Jannetty defeats Billy Robinson
Balls Mahoney defeats The Amazing Red

Come on back tomorrow for bracket IX!


  1. Oh the humanity! Mario doesn't make the first the first round of eliminations! Sucks he got put against Kane. Unfortunately I can't disagree with your assessment. Maybe rubberband face Lou Albano would have lasted a bit longer? Naaaaa


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog


Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…


This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…


Anthrax "Vice Of The People" (2016) VS Megadeth "Melt The Ice Away" (2016) VS Metallica "When A Blind Man Cries" (2016) VS Slayer "Pride In Prejudice" (2015)

"Vice Of The People" is the Japanese bonus track for "For All Kings".  Aaaand it starts with that doofy march beat.  Wonderful.  The lyrics don't do it any favors in the "I should take this seriously" department either.  And like most of the songs I've slagged in this Update process, it's not bad.  It's just so "...whatever."

"Melt The Ice Away" is a Budgie cover that was the Spotify exclusive bonus track for "Dystopia".  It's funny how the original Budgie tracks are often much softer than the bands that cover them and turn them into fucking barnburners.  This song sounds a little goofy in the vocals and lyrics department, but knowing it's a Budgie song, it totally gets a pass.  And unlike some covers of Budgi…