Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Fourth Round, Brackets XXIX-XXXII

BRACKET XXIX


Bret "The Hitman" Hart VS Nick Bockwinkel

Nick Bockwinkel was no slouch.  He dethroned Verne Gagne from his seven year AWA World Championship run and held onto it for five years himself.  (Can you imagine a decade-plus period where only one title change happened?  You have to go back to 1995 to find a solitary year where that's true in the WWF (ironically enough, the two champions were Bret Hart and Diesel).)  Bockwinkel was good at being a dastardly heel too.  Point is, the man's accolades are earned. 

Bret Hart, on the other hand, wrestled like his slogan of "The Best There Is, The Best There Was and The Best There Ever Will Be" was a total shoot, and he did his damndest every night to provide the proof.  There are very few workers out there for my money better than Bret Hart.  There's no shame for one Hall of Famer to lose to another unless you're jobbing to Koko B. Ware.  (Seriously, how is he in there?  Dafuq?)  Bret wins.


BRACKET XXX


The Ultimate Warrior VS Lou Thesz

That awkward moment when Warrior goes for a flying shoulder tackle at the same instant Thez goes for the Thez press, and it's the ugliest thing in the history of professional wrestling.  Until Thez decides to shoot on Warrior in retaliation, that is.  Thez advances at the cost of kayfabe.


BRACKET XXXI


Bully Ray VS Samoa Joe

I went back and forth on this one, but I gotta give it to Samoa Joe.  Bully Ray's singles run has been extremely impressive in the last few years; he's managed to be the best heel in wrestling on more than one occasion.  And he has the experience edge on Joe, no doubt.  But Samoa Joe is a man who, though he's held TNA World Title Gold, should have been champion at least three to five more times than he has.  He only held it once believe it or not, in 2008.  That company has shackled a man who should be a beast and a beast who should have been a king; instead, they put him in secondary feud after secondary feud.  Well, no more.  Joe's on his own now, gunning for Mark Briscoe.  (God, I hope he doesn't go to WWE.  It would be such a waste.)  It is time for the Samoan Submission Machine to break free of these shackles and take his rightful place in the wrestling pantheon.  Welcome to Round Five.


BRACKET XXXII


The Rock VS Bruno Sammartino

Dude, pick a winner, heh?  The longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in wrestling history and the most popular crossover figure to emerge from pro wrestling.  Wrestling purists will hate me for this one, but I've already crossed that bridge before: The Rock is going over.  Sure, Sammartino would have a strength advantage, but The Rock's tenacity is perhaps without equal.  Not only could Rock wrestle literal circles around Bruno due to his cat-like speed, anything Sammartino could dish out would have the Brahma Bull kicking out at two.  A true champion for the ages falls, but The People's Champion advances to Round Five.

Recap:

Bret Hart defeats Nick Bockwinkel
Lou Thez defeats The Ultimate Warrior
Samoa Joe defeats Bully Ray
The Rock defeats Bruno Sammartino

Come on back for Brackets XXXIII-XXXVI!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE GRUNGE MATCH - Conclusion

This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

WHAT THE HELL IS A BLOG? - iTunes Music Reviews, April 2018

Being that it's been more than a year since I've attempted one of these and iTunes is gonna stop selling mp3's next year, this is probably my next to last chance to do this sort of thing.  I started doing hot take reviews of albums based off nothing but 30 second iTunes previews in 2007, and if I'd been smart, I'd've transitioned to YouTube with them in about 2009.  I didn't, so here we are.  If reading a slightly older gentleman trying to temper his apathy and vexation at modern pop music and give it a fair shake (or trying to be funny when shitting on things that he can't resist shitting on) is your jam, step up to the dance floor!

Scoring system goes from 0 stars (sometimes negative if it goes the extra mile of horrible) to five stars (which has happened three times in 11 years of doing this, and I'd take every one of them back because that's the thing with hot takes).  Here we go!


Cardi B "Invasion Of Privacy" ❂ & 1/2
(or ❂❂, dep…

WHO IS CHAMPION OF WRESTLEMANS?!?!? Wrestlemania IV VS Wrestlemania 34

Welcome to this crazy, ridiculous idea.  So, I've done current Wrestlemania cards VS old Wrestlemania cards before, but this one is different.  Wrestlemania IV was dominated by a one night tournament for the vacant WWF title (the only time Vacant got to main event Mania!).  It had a handful of other matches, but it was mostly about the fourteen man tournament for the belt.  So we're gonna do a 32-man tournament for the crown of Wrestlemania Champion!

Here's how it shakes out: I picked sixteen wrestlers from Wrestlemania 34 (one of which isn't official, but they've teased Undertaker so goddam hard I would be forgiven if it turns out to be an elaborate swerve) and sixteen from Wrestlemania IV.  I had to include the participants of the Intercontinental Title match from that one as well, since the tournament only had 14 wrestlers.  (Hogan & Andre got a first round bye and it was a whole thing.)  For this year, I picked the participants from the WWE and Universal t…