Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Fourth Round, Brackets XXXIII-XXXVI

BRACKET XXXIII


"Rowdy" Roddy Piper VS Roman Reigns

Controversial, yes, but Roman Reigns wins this confrontation.  Piper might be the greatest talker in the history of the business, he may be one of the biggest icons in wrestling history, but the number of shenanigans that would be necessary for Piper to go over Reigns is too much for this tournament to bear.


BRACKET XXXIV


Terry Funk VS "The Scissor King" Joe Stecher

This was a tough one.  Both men have been World Champion, albeit in very different eras.  At that, Terry Funk himself was World Champion in two different eras (once in the NWA in 1975, then 20 years later in ECW; actually, he held the title in the first ECW in 1992 before the E stood for Extreme).  Then again, Joe Stecher was the first ever wrestler to be a multiple time world champion.  EVER.  He won it the first time in 1915 back when the shit was still real.  He's also the first ever three time world champion, because...the guy was real good?  Stecher could also go five hours in a shoot with Ed "The Strangler" Lewis (which ended in a draw).  Dude was good, and Terry Funk himself probably wouldn't feel ashamed jobbing to Joe "Scissor King" Stecher.


BRACKET XXXV


Jushin Bowling Liger VS Stanislaus Zbyszko

Liger doesn't have 'nuff flippity flop in him, as good as he is, to take down a two-time catch-as-catch can champion.  (Well, one of those may have been legit.  Stanislaus was on the cusp of the real and the worked.)


BRACKET XXXVI


The Crusher VS Haystacks Calhoun

After watching all I could handle on YouTube of both men, I have to go with The Crusher, because a) Haystacks was cool, but he wasn't that great in the ring, b) The Crusher was mad strong because c) He would train by putting two kegs of beer at opposite ends of Bradford Beach, run a relay to the first one, crush the keg both literally and figuratively, then repeat the process, and d) My great aunt Izzy was a friend of his.  Nepotism aside, The Crusher was much better in the ring and had the strength to take down this 600lb. behemoth.


Roman Reigns defeats Roddy Piper
Joe Stecher defeats Terry Funk
Stanislaus Szyszko defeats Jushin Liger
The Crusher defeats Haystacks Calhoun

Come on back for Brackets XXXVII-XL!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE GRUNGE MATCH - Conclusion

This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

WHAT THE HELL IS A BLOG? - iTunes Music Reviews, April 2018

Being that it's been more than a year since I've attempted one of these and iTunes is gonna stop selling mp3's next year, this is probably my next to last chance to do this sort of thing.  I started doing hot take reviews of albums based off nothing but 30 second iTunes previews in 2007, and if I'd been smart, I'd've transitioned to YouTube with them in about 2009.  I didn't, so here we are.  If reading a slightly older gentleman trying to temper his apathy and vexation at modern pop music and give it a fair shake (or trying to be funny when shitting on things that he can't resist shitting on) is your jam, step up to the dance floor!

Scoring system goes from 0 stars (sometimes negative if it goes the extra mile of horrible) to five stars (which has happened three times in 11 years of doing this, and I'd take every one of them back because that's the thing with hot takes).  Here we go!


Cardi B "Invasion Of Privacy" ❂ & 1/2
(or ❂❂, dep…

WHO IS CHAMPION OF WRESTLEMANS?!?!? Wrestlemania IV VS Wrestlemania 34

Welcome to this crazy, ridiculous idea.  So, I've done current Wrestlemania cards VS old Wrestlemania cards before, but this one is different.  Wrestlemania IV was dominated by a one night tournament for the vacant WWF title (the only time Vacant got to main event Mania!).  It had a handful of other matches, but it was mostly about the fourteen man tournament for the belt.  So we're gonna do a 32-man tournament for the crown of Wrestlemania Champion!

Here's how it shakes out: I picked sixteen wrestlers from Wrestlemania 34 (one of which isn't official, but they've teased Undertaker so goddam hard I would be forgiven if it turns out to be an elaborate swerve) and sixteen from Wrestlemania IV.  I had to include the participants of the Intercontinental Title match from that one as well, since the tournament only had 14 wrestlers.  (Hogan & Andre got a first round bye and it was a whole thing.)  For this year, I picked the participants from the WWE and Universal t…