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Match 119:

Alice In Chains "The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here" (2013)
Nirvana "The Other Improv" (1993)
Pearl Jam "Sirens" (2013)
Soundgarden "Come Together" (1990)

The lyric "The devil put dinosaurs here / Jesus don't like a queer" somehow manages to be cringe-worthy and poignant at the same time.  People actually believe this shit.  This isn't about whether or not you believe in God, it's about whether you believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that the literal embodiment of Christian love and forgiveness would draw the line at gay people.  Unfortunately, it's the only interesting thing about this slog of a song that is, musically, the most fitting title track for this album.  And this is one of the better songs on this disc.  It's all downhill from here, I'm afraid.

Continuing with the theme of painfully slow six minute songs, here's Nirvana with a demo recording from Rio '93 again.  You can't make out a single word Cobain's singing, but the song is slow and lame you don't care anyway.  It's one of the sloppiest performances a band revered for them has ever given.  Sure, it's called "The Other Improv" (which probably means there are no lyrics) but come on.

"Sirens" was the single from this album I actually heard.  I think I caught "Mind Your Manners" once, but even when reviewing it yesterday, I didn't remember.  The fact this song starts like the old Budwiser "Real Men of Genius" radio commercials isn't encouraging, and the sappy ballad it devolves into isn't much better.  The soaring chorus in the back half makes it marginally more "interesting" but it's a snooze fest for the rest.  At least it's the shortest song in today's matchup at...5:40?  Fuuuck... 

This Beatles cover comes from the "Loudest Love" EP in 1990.  It's a cult favorite in the Soundgarden fan community.  I was bored to tears.  But because today's matchup is SO full of overlong dreck...

"Sirens": 4
"Come Together": 3
"The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here": 2
"The Other Improv": 1


Soundgarden: 326
Alice In Chains: 307
Pearl Jam: 300
Nirvana: 257

HOO that was a bad one.  Whelp, anything you can walk away from, right?  So Pearl Jam joins the 300 club as Alice In Chains begins to stall.  Can we see a change for second place?  Stick around to find out.


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