Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XX (Matches 153-160)



Brodus Clay VS Philip Lafon

An underrated big man with agility to spare or an underrated technician with tag team experience to spare?  I say big man wins, because Brodus could and would stand on his own against even the likes of Philip Lafon.




Thrasher (from The Headbangers) VS "Whipper" Billy Watson

Judging from the man's Wikipedia article, "Whipper" Billy Watson is one of the better champions in wrestling history.  The guy knocked off Lou Thez as champion twice, one of which ended a six year run.  He defended the belt against a cavalcade of stars.  In other words, the half of The Headbangers that never even got a singles push wouldn't stand a chance.




Nova (aka Simon Dean) VS Kyle O'Riley

Who wins, the Superhero or the upstart?  I give the edge to Kyle O'Riley, because the kid kicked Adam Cole's teeth out of his fucking head during a MMA-style match.  And the other one was Simon Dean for awhile.  Whattaya gonna do?




Michael Tarver VS Vic Grimes

Tarver is the one guy from any version of Nexus that never appeared again after leaving the group.  Therefore, Vic Grimes wins by forefeit, as I allege Tarver was merely a prototype hologram all along, and WWE just ran out of money.




Abyss VS Rodney Mack

TNA's answer to Kane and Mankind in one person against a guy that was on Raw for six weeks in 2003?  Um...who would win that?  Maybe the guy who's won a few World Championships and make a career out of destroying people.  Just maybe.




Stevie Richards VS Randy Orton

Damn.  Stevie could never quite catch a break, could he?  Orton in four.




Rico VS Jeff Hardy

Rico Constantino may have won American Gladiators, but that won't be enough to stop the Charismatic Enigma jumping off of whatever he wants into whatever he wants and through whoever is in his way.  Hardy in four. [Hidden layer of irony: Rico Constantino used to be a Las Vegas police officer, and Jeff Hardy once main evented a Pay Per View in a state that can only be described as "high as fuck". Juss' sayin'.]




Vladimir Kozlov VS Johnny Grunge

Vladimir Kozlov was one half of one of the worst World Title matches I've ever seen in my life (2008 Survivor Series VS Triple H; Seriously, it made Triple H/Khali from three months before seem watchable by comparison.), but that doesn't mean he'd be a cakewalk.  The guy is a legit sambo master and well versed in judo.  Johnny Grunge would just beat on motherfuckers and somersault through tables.  I kinda think Kozlov actually has the advantage here.  Yeah, fuck it.  Vladimir wins.


RECAP:

Brodus Clay defeats Philip Lafon
"Whipper" Billy Watson defeats Thrasher
Kyle O'Reilly defeats Nova
Vic Grimes defeats Michael Tarver
Abyss defeats Rodney Mack
Randy Orton defeats Stevie Richards
Jeff Hardy defeats Rico
Vladimir Kozlov defeats Johnny Grunge

Come on back for brackets XXI tomorrow!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Update Wrap-Up

Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Matchup 172

Anthrax "Impaled" (2016) VS Megadeth "Dystopia" (2016) VS Metallica "Atlas, Rise!" (2016) VS Slayer "Jihad" (Live from Sofia, Bulgaria) (2010)

Unfortunately, Anthrax drew the short straw here, as "Impaled" is a middling intro that, on top of being a bit of a non-song, goes on a hair too long for its own good.

"Dystopia" is a solid, upbeat fist-pumper that was a no-brainer to make the first single off the album of the same name.  It may seem a little milquetoast for the first half, but once the "single" part falls away, it reveals a banger in the back half that makes you remember why you like this stuff in the first place.  It'll take more than one listen to realize how cool this song is, but on play two or three you'll be nodding your head with a pleased scowl on your face.

My first impression of "Atlas, Rise!" was "This is the most average Metallica song ever."  Like if you took all the Met…

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Matchup 178

Anthrax "Suzerain" (2016) VS Megadeth "Conquer Or Die!" (2016) VS Metallica "ManUNkind" (2016) VS Slayer "Cast The First Stone" (2015)

"Suzerain" is your pentennial reminder that Charlie Bennante don't fuck around.  Definitely the most fiery song on "For All Kings", and probably the closest to the old Anthrax as we're going to get ever again.  Bang your head in reflection.

"Conquer Or Die!" is more old school, though whether that works for or against it is up to you.  It's the three minute instrumental interlude.  This one is...fine.  Honestly, it's better than fine when compared to the song I have to review next, so I shan't complain too loudly.  But it is a song you wouldn't exactly miss if it fell off the face of the planet either.

"ManUNkind" was the point where I stopped giving "Hardwired...To Self-Destruct" the benefit of the doubt and started dreading the fact that I h…