Skip to main content


Tracy Smothers VS Yokozuna

This wouldn't be pretty.  Smothers is no slouch, but Yokozuna was over 500 pounds and, or his size. quick as a cat.  The proverbial and literal squash match.

Vince McMahon VS Kurt Angle

The only way Angle loses this is in McMahon's dreams, or if a McMahon books it.  Fortunately, we're under neither delusion.  Angle muthafukin' LOCK boi!

Owen Hart VS Black Bart

Watching through GWF episodes, Black Bart cut the most annoying promos.  He yells so shrilly with every single breath.  Never a different gear.  Fuck that guy.  Oh, and Owen Hart was one of the best wrestlers to never hold the world championship (and believe me, he would have had he lived).  So yeah, no contest.

Percy Watson VS Frankie Kazarian

An NXT guy against a multiple time X-Division Champion?  If this was NXT, there would be some angle where Kazarian wouldn't even be able to touch Percy Watson without falling down and losing the match.  In reality the ten year vet who can put on a hell of a match beats Watson without breaking much of a sweat.

Brakkus VS Stan "The Man" Stasiak

Brakkus only made a handful of appearances in WWF, then had a few ECW gigs before disappearing altogether.  Stan "The Man" (not the baseball player) is the guy that beat Pedro Morales for the WWWF Championship 40 years ago this month.  (Yeah, he lost it to Bruno in his first defense nine days later, but he held the title when it mattered dammit!)  Not much of a contest here either.

Kenzo Suzuki VS "Jungle" Jim Steele

Don't really know enough about either guy to call this one.  My gut says Suzuki since he was on SmackDown circa 2003 and got a few mid-card wins, but you never know.  To WikiPedia!

Okay, so Suzuki was Tag Team Champ on Smacky-Whacky back in '03, and Jim Steele managed to wrestle a handful of WCW Saturday Night Matches in '93.  Ironically, he had some tryout matches at the same time Suzuki was debuting, but wasn't hired, so there's your indicator right there.  Suzuki wins!

Eugene (aka Nick Dinsmoore) VS The Boogeyman

As the Eugene character, I think he would put up a valiant effort, but Boogeyman would scare him or gross him out into losing or something, so look out second round.  He's.  The BOOGEYMAN.  And he's.  Comin'.  Ta GET YA!  MWOO HA HA HAHAHAH!!!!

Sam Houston VS Shaggy 2 Dope

Even if Sam Houston wasn't a pro wrestler, the fact that he's related to Jake "The Snake" Roberts already gives him enough pedigree to elevate him beyond Shaggy 2 Dope.


Yokozuna defeats Tracy Smothers
Kurt Angle defeats Vince McMahon
Owen Hart defeats Black Bart
Frankie Kazarian defeats Percy Watson
Stan "The Man" Stasiak defeats Brakkus
Kenzo Suzuki defeats "Jungle" Jim Steele
The Boogeyman defeats Eugene
Sam Houston defeats Shaggy 2 Dope

Come on back for Bracket XXVIII!


Popular posts from this blog


Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…


This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…


Anthrax "Vice Of The People" (2016) VS Megadeth "Melt The Ice Away" (2016) VS Metallica "When A Blind Man Cries" (2016) VS Slayer "Pride In Prejudice" (2015)

"Vice Of The People" is the Japanese bonus track for "For All Kings".  Aaaand it starts with that doofy march beat.  Wonderful.  The lyrics don't do it any favors in the "I should take this seriously" department either.  And like most of the songs I've slagged in this Update process, it's not bad.  It's just so "...whatever."

"Melt The Ice Away" is a Budgie cover that was the Spotify exclusive bonus track for "Dystopia".  It's funny how the original Budgie tracks are often much softer than the bands that cover them and turn them into fucking barnburners.  This song sounds a little goofy in the vocals and lyrics department, but knowing it's a Budgie song, it totally gets a pass.  And unlike some covers of Budgi…