Curt Hawkins VS The Godfather (aka The Soultaker, aka Kama The Supreme Fighting Machine, aka Papa Shango)
Dude, Curt Hawkins should take the deal and just go with the ho's. Godfather is gonna smoosh this dude quick.
David Otunga VS Edouard Carpentier
Are you serious? Carpentier beat Lou Thez for the NWA title in 1956; a match that led to the creation of the AWA because of some territories refusing to recognize the legitimate victory. The man is as much a cornerstone in pro wrestling history as Buddy Rogers, and David Otunga doesn't even wrestle anymore; just lawyers. Ed FTW.
Dakota Darsow VS Chaz Taylor
I've never liked Chaz, not even when I was 10 and a mark of marks watching GWF. I've seen Dakota Darsow wrestle live, and not only was it entertaining to hear the crowd chant "Smash's Sperm! [clap-clap-clapclapclap!]" (he's Smash's son; if not, that'd be really weird), but he was pretty good. Chaz has 25 years experience, but y'know what? Fuck that guy. I'm goin' with Darsow.
Horace Hogan VS The Undertaker
The bell tolls at 2:42 for Hulk's (legit) nephew.
Raven VS Muhammed Hassan
Yes, Muhammed Hassan got shafted. His career ended when the WWE had him do an angle where he had three masked guys in his "terror cell" jump The Undertaker on SmackDown and kidnap him from the ring, and then in the day between when the show was taped and when it aired, the 2005 London Train Bombings happened and they needed someone to throw under the bus. Yes, this was unfortunate, as Hassan was a natural heel even without the terrorist angle. But Raven eats natural heels for breakfast and shits them out behind the dumpster he slumps next to at night in-between blood-soaked hardcore matches. Raven has the experience, skill and psychology edge on Hassan all week, son.
Rene Dupree VS Cobra (aka nWo Sting)
I think this is the only time Rene Dupree would get a unanimous decision if a match were scored. The French Tickler dismantles the Guardian Angel-wanna be/Main Eventer-wanna be in about six minutes.
Tom Davis (of the Dirty Davis Brothers) VS Kanyon
Who better than Kanyon? Certainly not Tom Davis. 3:51.
Crowbar VS Spike Dudley
I always liked Crowbar, even when he was saddled with David Flair as a tag team partner and WCW as an employer. But Spike Dudley could go with even the biggest and make it look good. (I'm thinking of his matches with Mike Awesome in particular.) A spirited contest, but Spike comes out on top in 8:02.
The Godfather defeats Curt Hawkins
Edouard Carpentier defeats David Otunga
Dakota Darsow defeats Chaz Taylor
The Undertaker defeats Horace Hogan
Raven defeats Muhammed Hassan
Rene Dupree defeats Cobra
Kanyon defeats Tom Davis
Spike Dudley defeats Crowbar
Come on back for Bracket XX! (Main event will NOT be redacted from history!)