Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XVII (Keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'; What?)

Sylvester Terkay VS "The IT Factor" Bobby Roode

When your entire list of career accomplishments were: "Wrestled for ECW (2006); Managed by Elijah Burke; Failed miserably to do a spinning back fist (which was your finisher)", you don't stand much chance against the man who is the longest reigning TNA (non-NWA years) World Champion in history.  Bobby Roode taps this fucker out in five.

Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker VS Trytan

Sure, Trytan was billed as a monster but wound up only being in TNA for a cup of coffee, but Buddy Lee Parker was one of the quintessential jobbers of all time, so Trytan actually has to go over here.  Crazy.

Junkyard Dog VS Blackjack Mulligan

Two legends dukin' it out.  Both guys were around the three bill mark and though Blackjack stood 6'8", JYD made up for it in ground game and toughness.  This one is really really tough to call, but I'm gonna hafta go with Junkyard.  The tie-breaker is simply that he's in the Hall Of Fame as a singles wrestler, and The Blackjacks were inducted as a tag team.  But really, this could have gone either way.

Animal VS Mike Awesome

One half of the Legion Of Doom (and make no mistake, the larger half) against a man the size of Brock Lesnar with a mullet and a penchant for power bombing people through tables on the ground while standing in the ring.  Say what you want about the awesome pedigree of Joe Laurinaitis (also a cool dude in person), but Mike Awesome seemed unstoppable in his short time as ECW Champion.  The only reason he dropped the belt is because he jumped ship for more money (a move he'd come to regret as "That 70's Guy" Mike Awesome in the dying days of WCW).  If this guy had gotten more of a chance to shine, he'd have won two or three more world titles in his lifetime.  Awesome in one hell of a slobberknocker.

Tom Prichard VS "Wild" Bill Irwin

Both men have more impressive resumes than you might think.  "Wild" Bill was a 4-time WCCW TV Champ, as well as one of Skandor Akbar's masked Super Destroyers back in the late 70's.  Unfortunately, his most famous appearance was during Wrestlemania X-Seven's Gimmick Battle Royal, reprising his 1996 gimmick of "The Goon".  Tom Prichard held numerous tag team titles with several respected partners like "Sweet" Stan Lane, "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray and Chris Candido.  In fact, his two runs in the WWF were with Del Ray and Candido, though the second he had to get a crew cut and dye his hair to look like Skip and become Zip of the Bodydonnas.  I have to give the edge to Irwin here due to his intangible toughness, however.  And he carried a bullwhip.  Can't fuck with that.

Rey Mysterio Jr. VS Nikita Koloff

I left the Jr. in his name because there is a Rey Misterio Sr., and it's his uncle, but he's not in the tournament because I frankly don't know enough about foreign wrestling to properly judge the competitors.  So how can I properly judge a contest between a Mexican and a Soviet?  Because they're both American.  Rey Rey's lived in San Diego for almost 20 years and Nikita Koloff's real name is Nelson Simpson, born and raised in Minnesota.  Nikita was somewhat impressive in his WCW run, but Rey Mysterio Jr. is a three time World Champion, a record eight time Cruiserweight Champ, a Royal Rumble winner and a WWE Triple Crown Champion.  No way dude's going down to Ivan Koloff's make-believe nephew.

The Renegade VS Tatsumi Fujinami

The Renegade is one of the reasons people think The Ultimate Warrior death rumors are true.  Yes, Rick Wilson took his own life in 1999, and even I, smark of smarks thought Warrior was The Renegade at one point in 1995, then was replace by an impostor, but as it turns out it was Wilson all along, playing WCW's rip-off equivalent.  Dude even won the TV title before I figured out it was a different dude.  Jim Hellwig never played The Renegade, and he is the once and for always Ultimate Warrior, and to my knowledge has never died nor been resurrected.

Tatsumi Fujinami became the first man to hold the IWGP and NWA titles simultaneously (and due to the era, this made him WCW Champion as well, since they were still part of the NWA).  He won the belt from Ric Flair and even fought him at the main event of the first SuperBrawl (right here in Milwaukee, no less).  I watched that match, and even though it's the only time I've ever seen him wrestle, it was enough to know this mofo is for real.  He and Flair tore the Mecca down on that card.  So I don't think he'd have much trouble with a wanna-be Ultimate Warrior.

Rick Martel VS George Wells

Rick Martel is mostly known for his work as "The Model" and maybe his days teaming with Tito Santana in Strike Force, and George Wells is remembered as the guy who looked like he was drooling semen from his mouth as Jake's snake strangled him at Wrestlemania 2.  But both men have much higher accolades buried deep in their past.  For instance, did you know Rick Martel was AWA World Champion for two years (when it kinda still mattered)?  Or that George Wells was U.S. Champ in the San Francisco territory?  Yeah, one of those sounds a lot more impressive than the other.  Martel for the win.


Bobby Roode defeats Sylvester Terkay
Trytan defeats Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker
Junkyard Dog defeats Blackjack Mulligan
Mike Awesome defeats Animal
"Wild" Bill Irwin defeats Tom Prichard
Rey Mysterio defeats Nikita Koloff
Tatsumi Fujinami defeats The Renegade
Rick Martel defeats George Wells

Come on back for bracket X-8!  (Or, XVIII, even!)


Popular posts from this blog


This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

R.I.P. Chris Cornell

The Grunge Match is suspended indefinitely.

I don't know when it will resume.  This hits way too close to home for way too many reasons.

As far as writing goes, I just did Match 112 Tuesday night.  I have no interest in going back through and making this a love letter to the departed, nor bashing him for tearing our hearts out.  I have no idea when I'll be able to even listen to Soundgarden again, and when I do, it won't be the fucking same so there's no way I can give any kind of objective rating.  Chris Cornell was the soul of that band, the thing that took sludge with a few acrobatic musical flourishes and made it into the hellfire slinging, metal rending monster that it needed to be.

So yeah.  This one hurts.  The man is dead.  The music remains, but is changed forever.  His friends, family and fans are suffering incalculable grief.  There's not much more to say, so silence seems like the best option.

THE TOP 20 SONGS OF 2017 (Updated)

Here it is: My favorite songs of 2017.  This podcast won't be up forever so listen while you can before I end up putting something else up on Soundcloud (with its 3 hour limit ass).  [BLOGGER'S NOTE: The Top Albums podcast was longer than I anticipated, so it's already down.  Sorry.  Instead, I've linked to the songs below.]  I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor.  This year has been better than quite a few in recent memory, which took me by surprise.  Music is pretty sweet if you know where to look.

20. "Gucci" Qveen Herby
19. "Learn To Let Go" Kesha
18. "New York" St. Vincent
17. "Praying" Kesha
16. "Avalanche Alley" The New Pornographers
15. "Automaton" Robotaki
14. "Dreams" Beck
13. "Them Changes" Thundercat
12. "Woman" Kesha
11. "Rainbow" Kesha
10. "Automaton" Jamiroquai
9. "Constellations" Grant & Jessi Mason
8. "Wow Wow" Neil Cicierega
7. &qu…