Skip to main content

THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXVIII (Matches 217-224)



The Big Bossman VS Mr. Fuji

Mr. Fuji actually has more titles than Bossman does, believe it or not.  Bossman was the type of dude who would always get so close but the heel would lose by DQ to keep his title.  Fuji, on the other hand, won the WWF Tag Team titles five times.  He's also a Hall Of Famer and The Big Bossman, in spite of being iconic, is not.  All that being said, however, there's not a planet in this solar system where Bossman doesn't drop Fuji like a bad habit in this match.  Dude be servin' hard times.




"Cowboy" James Storm VS "The Franchise Shane Douglas

This is going to be controversial, but I'm going with James Storm here.  I've seen both wrestler during their primes, and he just seems more consistently impressive to me.  Yes, Shane Douglas is far more decorated.  He is a four time ECW World Champ, a two time ECW TV Champ, an NWA World Champ, a UWF TV Champ, a WCW US Champ, a two time WCW Tag Team Champ, and an Intercontinental Champ (which he held for a grand total of less than 15 minutes, but still).  Storm is a one time TNA World Champion, but only held the belt for one week.   But he beat Kurt Angle to do it, so...wash?  He's also a 12-time Tag Team Champion, and one of only two full time wrestlers to be with the company for the entire run of its existence (the other man being AJ Styles.  Jeff Jarrett hasn't wrestled in two years, so...fuck.  Can't figure out how to onomatopoeiaize the sound of a razzberry.  Sure, I can type the word razzerry, but it's just not the same thing; it doesn't have the same effect.  I dunno...Wait.  What was I talking about?)  Anyway, my contention is that James Storm may have the slightly less impressive resume, but in this case the in-ring ability doesn't match the title history of the two men.  (Not that Shane Douglas wasn't good in his own right.  He got the name "Franchise" because he was one of the most important wrestlers ECW ever had.)  And make no mistake, I'd LOVE to see these two go when Douglas was in his prime.  It would have been one for the ages.  But I think even then, Storm is just that much better.  Cowboy in 22:28.




Akio Sato VS "The Natural" Butch Reed

Reed would tear through this half of The Orient Express like a "Hacksaw".




Damien Sandow VS Trevor Murdoch

Sandow gave John Cena a helluva match a few weeks ago, and the biggest thing Trevor Murdoch ever did was hold onto the tag team championships when there were no contenders.  Damien Sandow in six.  (You're welcome!)




Floyd "Money" Mayweather VS Evad Sullivan

I don't believe I'm doing this, but I'm going with Mayweather.  Evad Sullivan (his name is Dave, but he was dyslexic; dammit, WCW...) was never very good, so I imagine "Money" could actually beat the man without too many shenanigans.




Big Vito VS Goldberg

SPEAR!  SPEAR!  GOOD GOD, KING!  SPEAR!  (I think something else happens after that, but you get the point.)




JTG VS "The Polish Hammer" Ivan Putski

JTG is still (somehow) employed by WWE, despite not being on a TV program for the last year, and sporadically for the last five before that.  Ivan Putski had a long-standing feud with "Superstar" Billy Graham when he was WWWF Champion.  If he can find the sonofabitch, one quick Polish Hammer to the chest is all he'll need to advance.




Air Paris VS "The Belfast Bruiser" Fit Finlay

I'd like to think this match would go something like this: Paris tries to hit Finlay as he's getting into the ring with some flippity-flip top rope move and the Irishman counters by swatting him out of the air with his shillelagh.  Bell rings to start the match, Finlay pitches the stick, goes for the cover and gets the pin.  Because his Airness signed a release form, Finlay is not held liable for the in-ring death.  The end.


RECAP:

The Big Bossman defeats Mr. Fuji
"Cowboy" James Storm defeats "The Franchise" Shane Douglas
"The Natural" Butch Reed defeats Akio Sato
Damien Sandow defeats Trevor Murdoch
Floyd Mayweather defeats Evad Sullivan
Goldberg defeats Big Vito
Ivan Putski defeats JTG
Fit Finlay defeats Air Paris

Come on back for brackets XXIX!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Update Wrap-Up

Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…

THE GRUNGE MATCH - Conclusion

This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

THE BIG FOUR SONG CHALLENGE SERIES - Matchup 185

Anthrax "Vice Of The People" (2016) VS Megadeth "Melt The Ice Away" (2016) VS Metallica "When A Blind Man Cries" (2016) VS Slayer "Pride In Prejudice" (2015)

"Vice Of The People" is the Japanese bonus track for "For All Kings".  Aaaand it starts with that doofy march beat.  Wonderful.  The lyrics don't do it any favors in the "I should take this seriously" department either.  And like most of the songs I've slagged in this Update process, it's not bad.  It's just so "...whatever."

"Melt The Ice Away" is a Budgie cover that was the Spotify exclusive bonus track for "Dystopia".  It's funny how the original Budgie tracks are often much softer than the bands that cover them and turn them into fucking barnburners.  This song sounds a little goofy in the vocals and lyrics department, but knowing it's a Budgie song, it totally gets a pass.  And unlike some covers of Budgi…