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THE TOURNAMENT TO END ALL TOURNAMENTS: Bracket XXV (Matches 193-200)



El Dandy VS Colt Cabana

El Dandy may be, in the words of Bret Hart "A jam-up guy", but Colt Cabana is a two-time NWA Champion, so who am I to doubt El Dandy?  A guy with access to Wikipedia, that's who.  The erstwhile Matt Classic goes over in a "dandy" of a Lou Ferigno look-alike contest.  (Blame Jericho for that last one.)




Edge VS Chuck Palumbo

Let's see...the guy who has literally won more titles in the WWF/E than anyone else EVER (look it up) against a guy who couldn't catch a gimmick to save his life after breaking up the GLAAD-approved tag team of Billy & Chuck?  (Yes, all of these stats are true.)  Edge, in a match from SmackDown circa 2006.




Kevin Sullivan VS George Hackenschmidt

Kevin Sullivan was a mastermind.  He was the guy who would build an army of evil to do his bidding for him (probably helped for when he became booker in WCW).  Occasionally, he'd get his hands dirty in the trenches, racking up a Florida Territory championship, two reigns with Tazz as ECW tag champ and one with Cactus Jack as WCW tag title holder.  But ultimately, his brain was far more impressive than his in-ring track record.  George Hackenschmidt was equal in both.

Teddy Roosevelt once stated "If I wasn't President Of The United States, I'd like to be George Hackenschmidt." (source:  Chapman, Mike, Frank Gotch, World’s Greatest Wrestler, pp. 3-4, 58; Kent, Graeme, The Pictorial History of Wrestling (Spring Books, 1968),pp. 146-55.)  This is the man who was the first ever World Heavyweight Champion.  PERIOD.  And this was back when the sport was real.  He won it in 1905, and hung on to it for three years, helping to popularize catch-as-catch can style over Greco-Roman as he went.  He also wrote several books and gave speeches espousing philosophy.  In fact, his career in mental acumen was far longer than his one on the mat, spanning from his retirement in late 1911 to the end of his life in 1968.  Oh, and he also popularized a little something called the BENCH PRESS.  And invented a lil' sum' sum' called a BEAR HUG (at least its use in wrestling).  So yeah, Hack takes it in a spirited contest (though is confused when he goes to start the second fall and is told there isn't one; everything was two-out-of-three back then).




Roderick Stong VS Super Crazy

Roderick Strong is one of only two men in history to hold all three Ring Of Honor titles (the other being Eddie Edwards).  He is the master of the backbreaker, able to apply it from any and all angles.  Super Crazy won the ECW TV Title in 2000, but other than that nothing at the professional level.  Strong advances.




Squire David Taylor VS Garett Bischoff

Garett Bischoff hasn't really had much of a chance to prove himself one way or another, and even if he had he's only been in the game a year or two.  David Taylor is a vet, a technical machine and a on-again off-again partner of William Regal.  Taylor would stretch out da kid sum' fierce.




Ralphus VS Mideon (aka Phineas I. Godwin)

Since Mideon was an actual in-ring guy and Ralphus was more of a mascot (though entertaining as all get-out), the ex-pig farmer ex-nudist ex-satanist ex-tag team champion wins it.




Lawrence Taylor VS Sick Boy

Sick Boy was a member of Raven's Flock in WCW.  Lawrence Taylor was some football player that somehow won the main event of Wrestlemania XI with nothing but shoulder blocks.  (At least that's what the internet would have you believe.)  Yes, Bam Bam Bigelow carried that match, but Taylor did a good job with what he was supposed to do.  Imagining he remembers how to do a wrestling match, Taylor could actually beat Sick Boy.  (And watch that match again.  It's not as terrible as you think.  Should it have been the main event of WrestleMania?  HELL NO!  But they held WrestleMania in a mall in Connecticut that year, so that's what you get.)




The Great Khali VS Juventud Guerrera

Um...the juice is but a thimble spilled into the raging rivers of Punjab.


 RECAP:

Colt Cabana defeats El Dandy
Edge defeats Chuck Palumbo
George Hackenschmidt defeats Kevin Sullivan
Roderick Strong defeats Super Crazy
Squire David Taylor defeats Garett Bischoff
Mideon defeats Ralphus
Lawrence Taylor defeats Sick Boy
The Great Khali defeats Juventud Guerrera

Come on back for Bracket XXVI!  (It's GUARANTEED to be better than Wrestlemania XXVI!)

Comments

  1. KHALI KHALI KHALI KHALI KHALI KHALI KHALI KHALI

    I am enjoying these more and more!! Ben

    ReplyDelete

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