Trent Acid VS Matt Morgan
Dude, Matt Morgan is a beast. Squash match.
Gene Anderson VS "Ravishing" Rick Rude
This would have been a good back and forth, but I gotta give the edge to Rude because of his greater experience in singles wrestling.
Robbie McAllister VS Adam Cole
The current reigning and defending ROH Champion against...some guy from central WWE gimmick casting? Yeah, Cole in five.
Jake Gymini VS Silver King
Gymini wins because of his size. Silver King is just too tiny to throw dude.
Magnus VS Van Hammer
The current TNA World Champion wouldn't even have to use his impressive array of heel shit to dispense with a member of Raven's Flock.
Kwee Wee VS Rhett Titus
Rhett Titus might not have the greatest mic skills in the world, but yo. I have no idea what a Kwee Wee is, but I know Titus can outwrestle it.
Ole Anderson VS Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Hey, Bobby Heenan started as a wrestler, so he gets a slot in this tournament. (He even wrestled a Wrestlemania match against Terry Taylor.) Ole Anderson, however, knows 17 ways to crush your head with his pinkie. I think he'll avoid paralyzing him completely because Heenan once managed his "brother" Arn.
Kaz Hayashi VS The Brooklyn Brawler
I can't believe this, but The Brooklyn Brawler ACTUALLY WINS A MATCH!!! What a way to end the first round!!! Congrats to Mr. Lombardi (ironic name, but real)!
Matt Morgan defeats Trent Acid
Rick Rude defeats Gene Anderson
Adam Cole defeats Robbie McAllister
Jake Gymini defeats Silver King
Magnus defeats Van Hammer
Rhett Titus defeats Kwee Wee
Ole Anderson defeats Bobby Heenan
The Brooklyn Brawler defeats Kaz Hayashi
So. That's brings the first round to a close. 360 FUCKING matches, with only 358 to...go...wow. I really know how to bite off more than I can chew, don't I? Well, come on back for tomorrow for the beginning of the second round, starting with Bracket I!!!