"Gentleman" Chris Adams VS Hulk Motherfucking Hogan
I wonder who's winning this one...
Antonino Rocca VS John Laurinaitis
Ditto here...Clown Shoes FTL.
Scotty 2 Hottie VS Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
It's Hammer time. (And next time we meet, I'll have that ten bucks I owe you!) (Also, I may have accidentally insulted Mr. 2 Hottie when we met that one time. I just want to publicly apologize for an incident which you probably have no memory of. Sorry.)
Sid Vicious VS Christian York
I don't even remember who Christian York is and I'm not looking it up.
Ken Shamrock VS "Dangerous" Danny Davis
Being he rose to fame as a crooked referee in the WWF, and that "The Most Dangerous Man In America" is way more dangerous than he, Danny Davis would play this smart by coming out dressed as a ref, and try to convince Shamrock they're not really fighting. Then when he's trying to confirm this with the timekeeper, Davis will sneak up from behind, roll up his opponent, and try to fast count the fall himself. When Shamrock kicks out at two, he'll look square at Davis with that "In The Zone" killing glare, and Davis will have no choice but to head for the hills. Shamrock wins via countout.
Ahmed Johnson VS Carlito
I literally flipped a coin on this match, because Carlito does have a knack for coming in and winning his first match against all odds (see: VS Cena for U.S. Title in his 2004 debut, also VS Sheldon Benjamin for the I.C. Strap in 2005 which was pretty much the end of Benjamin's career as a near main eventer when he debuted on Raw). But Ahmed Johnson was a beast. So much so he couldn't cut a promo in English and he hurt a bunch of guys. But it landed heads, and Ahmed Johnson VS Shamrock is a better matchup anyway.
Pedro Morales VS A-Train (aka Albert, aka Tensai)
I think the first ever Triple Crown winner in WWF history can handle dude, shaved back or no.
Jay Bradley VS John Cena
Just like the words to the theme song: "John Cee-ee-na! John Cee-ee-na!" Oh, wait. The song already has words. Never mind. Still, Cena wins.
Hulk Hogan defeats Chris Adams
Antonino Rocca defeats John Laurinaitis
Greg Valentine defeats Scotty 2 Hottie
Sid defeats Christian York
Ken Shamrock defeats Danny Davis
Ahmed Johnson defeats Carlito
Pedro Morales defeats A-Train
John Cena defeats Jay Bradley
Come on back for Bracket XLIII!