Skip to main content


Chavo Guerrero Sr. (aka Chavo Classic) VS Dick The Bruiser

Dick The Bruiser would chomp Chavo Sr., Junior, or just about anybody else in the Guerrero family save for maybe Eddie.  Mismatch, in my opinion, even if Chavo Classic is the oldest Cruiserweight champion in WWE History.

"Handsome" Jimmy Valiant VS Ryback

Ryback may be kind of a wuss this year, but he would bulldoze Jimmy Valliant in relatively quick fashion.

Primo Colon (aka one of Los Matadors) VS "Leaping" Lanny Poffo (aka The Genius)

In spite of holding a victory over Hulk Hogan in 1990 and being the brother of the Macho Man, Lanny Poffo was generally a manager or enhancement talent.  Primo wins.

Hiro Matsuda VS The Big Show

Hiro Matsuda is the guy who trained Hulk Hogan, but he wouldn't be able to handle the "Largest Athlete In The World".  Show.

Chief Wahoo McDaniel VS Earthquake

Likewise, McDaniel is a legend, but Quake is just too big an obstacle for him to surmount.

Joey Mercury VS Rasta The Voodoo Man

"Who the fuck is Rasta The Voodoo Man?" you ask?  He was in the GWF for a time, then quit wrestling to become an actor, getting minor roles in "Any Given Sunday" and "Cradle 2 Tha Grave".  Then he was in a wildly successful series of Reebok comercials in 2003 (which nobody remembers, but I'll take WikiPedia's word for it) then he landed what was arguably his most famous role: COLE FROM GEARS OF WAR.  They had to animate the character's biceps bigger to match the voice actor, son!

Then again, as a wrestler, he never did much, and Joey Mercury was pretty damn good in his day, so I give this one to the man from MNM.

Bushwhacker Butch VS DDP (Diamond Dallas Page)

The Bushwhackers weren't much as singles competitors, and DDP won the WCW title three times, so yeah.  Quick Diamond Cutter and hasta la vista.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage VS David Von Erich

David Von Erich was unfortunately the first of many (read: All but one) Von Erichs to die in a 13-year span.  He was in the running to be the next NWA World Champion when he passed away in 1984, and for his family and the promotion they ran, this was the beginning of the end.  Despite what he could have been however, "Macho Man" Randy Savage was all of that and more.  He is one of the legends, the household names that even non-wrestling fans know about.  AND he could back it up in the ring.  From a skill standpoint, the guy made Hulk Hogan look like a joke.  I have a feeling this guy'll go deep into the bracket, homie.  OOH YEAH!


Dick The Bruiser defeats Chavo Guerrero Sr.
Ryback defeats Jimmy Valiant
Primo Colon defeats "Leaping" Lanny Poffo
The Big Show defeats Hiro Matsuda
Earthquake defeats Chief Wahoo McDaniel
Joey Mercury defeats Cole...I mean, Rasta The Voodoo Man
DDP defeats Butch
"Macho Man" Randy Savage defeats David Von Erich


Popular posts from this blog


This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

WHAT THE HELL IS A BLOG? - iTunes Music Reviews, April 2018

Being that it's been more than a year since I've attempted one of these and iTunes is gonna stop selling mp3's next year, this is probably my next to last chance to do this sort of thing.  I started doing hot take reviews of albums based off nothing but 30 second iTunes previews in 2007, and if I'd been smart, I'd've transitioned to YouTube with them in about 2009.  I didn't, so here we are.  If reading a slightly older gentleman trying to temper his apathy and vexation at modern pop music and give it a fair shake (or trying to be funny when shitting on things that he can't resist shitting on) is your jam, step up to the dance floor!

Scoring system goes from 0 stars (sometimes negative if it goes the extra mile of horrible) to five stars (which has happened three times in 11 years of doing this, and I'd take every one of them back because that's the thing with hot takes).  Here we go!

Cardi B "Invasion Of Privacy" ❂ & 1/2
(or ❂❂, dep…

WHO IS CHAMPION OF WRESTLEMANS?!?!? Wrestlemania IV VS Wrestlemania 34

Welcome to this crazy, ridiculous idea.  So, I've done current Wrestlemania cards VS old Wrestlemania cards before, but this one is different.  Wrestlemania IV was dominated by a one night tournament for the vacant WWF title (the only time Vacant got to main event Mania!).  It had a handful of other matches, but it was mostly about the fourteen man tournament for the belt.  So we're gonna do a 32-man tournament for the crown of Wrestlemania Champion!

Here's how it shakes out: I picked sixteen wrestlers from Wrestlemania 34 (one of which isn't official, but they've teased Undertaker so goddam hard I would be forgiven if it turns out to be an elaborate swerve) and sixteen from Wrestlemania IV.  I had to include the participants of the Intercontinental Title match from that one as well, since the tournament only had 14 wrestlers.  (Hogan & Andre got a first round bye and it was a whole thing.)  For this year, I picked the participants from the WWE and Universal t…