Skip to main content



Tenzan VS Hunico

Tenzan is a 4-time IWGP World Champion, and Hunico is technically still a WWE employee...You do the math.  Tenzan in four.


Angelo Poffo VS The Miz

The man who sired "Macho Man" Randy Savage and "Leaping" Lanny Poffo against some dude who was on The Real World season ten?  You do the math.  Well, okay, it's not that simple.  The Miz has main evented a Wrestlemania, been WWE Champion, won several IC and Tag titles, and is actually not too bad in the ring.  If this was a figure four contest, Angelo takes it all weekend, but this is who would win in a one on one, and as controversial as the opinion is, The Miz would win in seven and a half minutes.


Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy VS Adam Bomb (aka Bryan Clarke)

Adam Bomb was an impressive specimen, and Kronik was a fun team, but Terry Gordy was an original Freebird and he was in one of the toughest teams I'd ever seen when I was a kid with "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, a combo called the "Miracle Violence Connection" when they were in All-Japan.  A guy from the "Miracle Violence Connection" ain't losin' in the first round to a guy managed by Raven back when he was still Johnny Polo.


"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes VS Joey Ryan

Bringing sleazy back ain't near enough to last more than three minutes against the son of a plumber, if you weel!


The Patriot (aka Del Wilkes) VS Gory Guerrero

Full Disclosure: When I was setting up this bracket, I landed on Abraham Lincoln as The Patriot's original opponent.  Should I have made an exception and fed the patriarch of the Guerrero family to Killer Kowalski instead?  Maybe so, but I wanted to keep the brackets random, so here we are.

Anyway, The Patriot was GWF's answer to Sting.  He was the hero the little kids looked up to and the main good guy the bad guys feared.  He had brief stints in the WCW and WWF (even had a match of some note with Bret Hart), but he would be no match for Gory Guerrero.  That man invented the camel clutch and the Gory Special, two wrestling moves that have been used more times than The Patriot has said the pledge of allegiance.  Gory advances.


Tito Santana VS Crimson

Crimson, even in his "prime" was a pushover propped up by an unearned Goldberg gimmick, so Tito hits El Paso de la Muerte in a minute and a half, school boys this doufas and advances to the second round.


Buddy Roberts (of The Fabulous Freebirds) VS Luke Gallows

Luke Gallows may be the second most underrated big man in the business behind Matt Morgan right now, so I'm putting him over, Freebird opponent or not.


Drew McIntyre VS Titus O'Neil

I don't think Drew McIntyre gets a fair shake, but let's be serious: Even in his prime, he would get flattened by Titus O'Neil.  He's just too big.


Tenzan defeats Hunico
The Miz defeats Angelo Poffo
Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy defeats Adam Bomb
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes defeats Joey Ryan
Gory Guerrero defeats The Patriot
Tito Santana defeats Crimson
Luke Gallows defeats Buddy Roberts
Titus O'Neal defeats Drew McIntyre


  1. More crazy matchups! Where's the drama and YouTube clips?


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog


Well, The Big Four Song Challenge Series Update has drawn to a close, and here we are in the aftermath.  Metallica edged out Megadeth on the strength of bonus material, Anthrax did okay and Slayer should have broken up when Jeff Hanneman died.  For real, all coming back with another album did for them was...well, make them money and allow them to keep touring and making more money, so there's that.  But more importantly, by releasing "Repentless", they dropped from two to three on my completely arbitrary opinion based blog series status ranking system!  Surely, that can't have been worth a couple million bucks?

Anyhow, I'm getting the feeling that rock music in general is going to need to evolve into something completely different or call it quits altogether.  Rock has had its 60 year run just like jazz did before it, and if it doesn't come up with something soon, it will fade away from the public consciousness, only to return in Gap commercials in the 2040…


Anthrax "Impaled" (2016) VS Megadeth "Dystopia" (2016) VS Metallica "Atlas, Rise!" (2016) VS Slayer "Jihad" (Live from Sofia, Bulgaria) (2010)

Unfortunately, Anthrax drew the short straw here, as "Impaled" is a middling intro that, on top of being a bit of a non-song, goes on a hair too long for its own good.

"Dystopia" is a solid, upbeat fist-pumper that was a no-brainer to make the first single off the album of the same name.  It may seem a little milquetoast for the first half, but once the "single" part falls away, it reveals a banger in the back half that makes you remember why you like this stuff in the first place.  It'll take more than one listen to realize how cool this song is, but on play two or three you'll be nodding your head with a pleased scowl on your face.

My first impression of "Atlas, Rise!" was "This is the most average Metallica song ever."  Like if you took all the Met…


Anthrax "Suzerain" (2016) VS Megadeth "Conquer Or Die!" (2016) VS Metallica "ManUNkind" (2016) VS Slayer "Cast The First Stone" (2015)

"Suzerain" is your pentennial reminder that Charlie Bennante don't fuck around.  Definitely the most fiery song on "For All Kings", and probably the closest to the old Anthrax as we're going to get ever again.  Bang your head in reflection.

"Conquer Or Die!" is more old school, though whether that works for or against it is up to you.  It's the three minute instrumental interlude.  This one is...fine.  Honestly, it's better than fine when compared to the song I have to review next, so I shan't complain too loudly.  But it is a song you wouldn't exactly miss if it fell off the face of the planet either.

"ManUNkind" was the point where I stopped giving "Hardwired...To Self-Destruct" the benefit of the doubt and started dreading the fact that I h…