THE TOP TEN WORST ALBUMS OF 2022

Originally, I wasn't gonna do a worst of this year.  There were only four albums (or so I thought) that really got under my skin.  So for the longest time, the plan was Best Songs, Best Albums...that's it.  (There's plenty of songs that sucked this year, but after glancing at the Hot 100 Year End, the songs I hated the most came out in 2021, so what's the point?)

Then I took a look at the "Meh" section one more time, thinking "There's gotta be something in here that evoked a stronger reaction than 'Whatever'".  And. turns out, there were plenty.  Enough for a bottom ten!  And, miracle of miracles, I actually wrote the list!  (YAY!)  For real, the last six months have been the most creatively fallow I've been in my entire life and I was legit scared I wasn't gonna write lists this year, then I knocked out the Worst Ofs in a literal half hour!  

So enough stalling, let's fuck this pumpki...I mean, let's take out the trash!  This is the Top 10 Worst Albums Of 2022!

...and as a bonus, here is the "Meh" section, with a few notes on some of the selections therein.

MEH

Avril Lavigne "Love Sux"

Bad Suns "Apocalypse Whenever"

Bartees Strange "Farm To Table" 

Bastardane "Is This Rage?"

Beyonce "Renaissance" 

Black Midi "Cavalcovers"

Black Midi "Hellfire"

Devin Townsend "The Puzzle"

Devin Townsend "Snuggles"

Empress Of "Save Me"

Envy Of None

Eric Church "&"

Gayle "a study of the human experience volume one" 

Home "Home 12" "

Jockstrap "I Love You Jennifer B."

Kate Bollinger "Look At It In The Light"

Kenmode "Null"

King's X "Three Sides Of One"

Little Big Town "Mr. Sun"

Men Without Hats "Again, Pt. 2"

Meshuggah "Immutable"

Milky Chance "Trip Tape II"

Ohsees "A Foul Form"

Onyx "Onyx Versus Everybody"

The Rasmus "Rise"

Rex Orange County "Who Cares?"

Sudan Archives "Natural Brown Prom Queen"

Tears For Fears "The Tipping Point"

Tropical Fuck Storm "Moonburn" 

Tropical Fuck Storm & King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard "Satanic Slumber Party"

Unknown Mortal Orchestra "SB-09"

Winona Oak "Island Of The Sun"

X-Band & Wink "Color"

• Avril Lavigne was the closest on this list to breaking into the "Okay" tier, but thought I thought this album was beyond competent, I didn't enjoy it besides maybe two songs.
• I liked Renaissance the first time I heard it quite a bit, but barely got through it the second time.  It's just so boring.
• I considered Hellfire for my Top 20, but while listening to it, I realized the first four songs really slap, and the rest of it is deeply annoying.  Like, if not for tracks 1-4, this would be in the bottom five.  Heeby Jeebies for days.
• I gave The Puzzle like two chances, and I just didn't get it.  And this is in spite of hearing Devin Townsend talk about it for literal hours on podcast after podcast, a bunch of which weren't even supposed to be about The Puzzle.  Snuggles was better, but also completely made out of air, and just not my bag.
• Kenmode wasn't bad, it just wasn't for me at all.
• King's X started quite well, but after track 3 fell off of a cliff.  That's the only thing that kept it from the #10 spot.
• Little Big Town was a similar problem, but it was better for longer, and took a farther fall.  (Seriously, what the fuck happened to the back half of this album?)
• Meh-shuggah is in full swing.  (Though I finally get The Violent Sleep Of Reason now.  Maybe in six years I'll come around on this.)
• A special fuck you to Rex Orange County for what he (allegedly) did.  First time I've had to pull a song from Best List contention because the artist fucked up.  (I mean, the rest of the album was a complete waste of time, but come on!)
• Natural Brown Prom Queen is the most disappointing album of the year for me.  Spoiler alert, but "Home Maker" made my Top 20.  "Selfish Soul" probably would've made my Top 50 if I went that deep.  There were a couple of other good songs in-between, but after track 5 this album morphed into a bad version of Beyonce's Renaissance.  Which is also on this list, so make of that what you will.

Okay, enough of that.  Let's dig into the list proper:

THE TOP TEN WORST ALBUMS OF 2022

10. The Nixons "Kaleidoscope"

I didn't even hate this, I just needed ten to round out the list and this was the next worst one of the bunch.  Richard Nixon was rotten sewage dressed as a human being anyway; I know it was the 90's, but pick a better band name.

9. Beth Orton "Weather Alive"

This one hurts because I like Beth Orton a fair amount.  Her voice has always been on the rough, rustic side, but this one...oof.  It goes just a little too far.  Pair that with the most boring music she's ever sang on top of and you've got a recipe for disaster.

8. The Happy Fits "Under The Shade Of Green"

This is the album that made me snap.  I've heard way too many mediocre indie records that I've given a pass over the last five years, and it's time to stop.  This was the line.  This far, no farther.

7. half-alive "Give Me Your Shoulders, Pt. 1"

I heard this before The Happy Fits (both bands from which have come good releases in the past), but a bit of the same problem.  This one fares worse because the singer is pitchy on every single track.  I haven't gone back to listen to the rest of their catalogue and see if this has been there the entire time and I just didn't notice it, but y'know what?  I don't want to anyway.  (Would you?)

6. Aerosol "Murmurations"

Speaking of not wanting to go back and listen to things, I heard this toward the beginning of the year and remember not liking it very much.  No recollection why, just really couldn't get into it.  But it was the first album alphabetically in the list of things I'd heard for most of the year, so I kept being reminded of an album I didn't like.  If not for that, I just would've left it alone in the "Meh" pile like everything else and went on with my life, but when the worm turned and I decided to do a Worst Of List after all, this one sprang to mind.  It's a piece of debris on the floor, not even a Lego or a building block; nothing so descript.  It's just a...thing on the floor I've tripped over so often that when I finally bother to pick it up and throw it away, I don't even look at what it is.  I honestly remember nothing about this album except the cover was black and white.  That's it.  But it got noticed.

5. Kongos "1929, Pt. 3"

I actually liked 1929, Pt. 1 enough to put it in Honorable Mentions back in 2019.  Part 3 however?  Terrible.  Not a single good track on here.  Tired and laborious.  I could feel my time being wasted as I listened to it.  (Shit, Part 2 kinda sucked as well, but there's at least four tolerable songs on that one (wish I hadn't put it right next to Pt. 1 in Honorable Mentions back then, though.  Oh well...))

4. Soft Cell "Happiness Not Included"

I said everything I wanted to say about this back when I reviewed it, and I don't think there's much more to go over to be honest.

3. Arcade Fire "We"

Ditto this one.  I have no idea how the fuck this is only #3.

2. Mejiwahn "Beanna"

Y'know what?  Most boring album of the year.  I even gave it a second chance to see if I missed something, but NOPE.  (Coincidentally, the #2 slot has managed to house the most boring album of the year three years running (which is also when I started numbering the "Worst" tier.))

1. Jay-Z "HOV DID"

Okay, so I looked it up.  This is not a Jay-Z EP, it's an Ari Melber joint.  This is taken from his show on MSNBC (I really thought Jay-Z paid to have this done; it's that fellatious), and it's just the segment.  It's an 11 minute news segment framed as an EP giving Hova a blowjob he does not need.  Full disclosure, I haven't heard the verse; just haven't gotten around to it.  I'm sure it's good, it's Jay-Z, but that's kinda my point.  Coulda just let the music do the talking, but he went and put his PRESS CLIPPINGS out as a release.  Whereas at least Mejiwahn was an odorless fart, this is just shit.

Also, I thought about putting Drake & 21 Savage at the bottom here, but A) I only heard clips of those songs and B) I don't care.  They don't deserve any #1 for that crap.

Stay tuned buckaroos!  The Top 20 Songs Of 2022 are locked, loaded, and ready for your listening pleasure one week from today!  So chin up because things are about to get good!

Love Over Fear.