No Free Lunch

There's always a dodge
Always a hustle
Always a way to forestall the eventual
To shirk the inevitable
Stick with me, kid.
I'm an old hat at drawing interest.

What you need to accrue is a crew
Get folks on your side
Get them believing in what you're telling
Buying into what you're selling
Perception is nine tenths of reality
Possession is nine tenths of the law
If you've got 'em, you've got 'em.

The trick is to always leave before the bill
Never make the same place twice
And you can eat forever.
You've got a lot to learn, son
And to unlearn.
If you wanna avoid the eventual, you gotta forget the conventional
Dispense with the...
What?  Those lights?
Just act like you belong.
The person they're looking for doesn't exist.
We're gonna drink our drinks, and...
HEY!  WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!?
IT WAS HIM!  THIS KID HERE..

You're lucky, son.
We got to you before he did.
Though, if we hadn't,
We would have.
Eventually...

What's the difference between the eventual and the inevitable anyway?
The destiny and the destination?
The immutable and the irrefutable?
Destiny is equal parts chance, free will and necessity
You want it to happen, it needs to happen or it just happens
Ain't nothin' inevitable about that.
But all roads lead somewhere
There's always an "eventual".
But it's a bit like that Schroedinger fella
You don' know what you'll see until you see it
And you don't know what it is until you get there
But you'll get there.
I know, it sounds like horseshit, son
But the bill always comes due.
[Insert Condescending Shoulder Pat of Authourity [TM] here]
Take care.

Son of a bitch.
Least he could've done is pay for my meal.
Now all I got is two lectures and an empty stomach.