THE TOP 38 ALBUMS OF 2014
Hello, and welcome to the 2014 Year End Music Extravaganza!!! This year, we've got three blogs instead of two, because last year I had a meltdown. But fear not, consumer! Our stark-ravings have turned into your savings! 2013's album list can be read right here, and The Top 20 Songs Of 2014 can be read right here.
So, coming off a year last year that had me doubting my interest in writing and music in their entireties, how did we do this year? Well, music is pretty fucking weak, to be honest. Impressively enough, there is something good I can say about every entry on this list, and that's never happened before, but that's also part of the problem. The distance between the top and the bottom entries in quality has never been so small, and therefore everything kinda averages out. It was an average quality year. Couple that with a dismal year for quantity (I can make a top 40 out of every year going back to the 80's if I wanted to, with the possible exception of 2006, and maybe 2002), and you've got one kinda dogshit year. But like I said, I can say something good about every single album on this list, so there's that.
So now, let's see what 2014 had to offer. Here we go!
38. Monte Pittman "The Power Of Three"
The lead single and the first two tracks had me on some Radio Raheem shit, but then it turned into a late-period KISS album. Not even his former Prong-mate Aaron Rossi on drums nor the 14-minute closer with guest shots from Alex Skolnik & Chris Barnes could save this one from the basement slot. (Ironically enough, if this was 2012, this might be in the same #38 slot, but have 45 albums beneath it.)
37. Greetings From The Imposter "Impressive Debut Release"
Winner of The Most Disappointing Album of the Year, but with a caveat. It's not really an album. It's a radio show parody with four poorly recorded songs at the end. GFTI's live show is fucking AMAZING. If you have a chance to go see them, go see them. There's so much more energy in their songs live, which is why this one is so disappointing.
36. Phantogram "Voices"
Listening to this to see where it went on the countdown, I kinda blahed out on the first two songs, but then I heard track three and instantly remembered why I bought this album in the first place. "Fall In Love" is fucking incredible, and should have been on my Top 20 Songs Of 2014 List. I honestly forgot it existed until hearing it two days after posting that blog, so yeah, I fucked up. (Though that's what this band gets for being a pair of ghosts. OOOOHHHH!!! PhAN-tograaaaammmm. WwwooooooOOOOO...) Anyway, track four sucks balls, and by track six I stopped listening. But that one song, man. Shit, that's good.
35. Devin Townsend "Sky Blue"
One of my least favorite Devin Townsend releases. Just not feelin' it.
34. Tycho "Awake"
This album, specifically the opening track "Awake", is the perfect palate cleanser. No matter what you've been listening to, if you need to switch vibes real quick, if you need to reset your brain, just pump this real loud. It's soothing, pseudo-electronica and the rest of the album follows suit. I'd almost call it the smooth jazz equivalent of hipster music. I know, that sounds really awful, but trust me. If you need to clear out your brain, this is your jam. Listen to as long as necessary.
33. +++ [pronounced: Crosses]
Chino Moreno executes the soft touch with this one, and it's fairly decent. Just not music I'd want to listen to on a consistent basis.
32. Ghost Pope "The Complete Chronicles"
It's kind of cheating to put this on here since the "album" technically doesn't exist. It's just the collected demos and live recordings of my All Messed Up band this year. This shit was a lot of fun. It was the only time all I've done in a band was vocals, and I hope someday we can find time to do more shit together. Here's most of our show from All Messed Up IVEver.
31. Onyx "Wakedafucup"
Released in Europe only, but the internet is a thing, so rather than pay $32 on Amazon...y'know. I am part of the problem. (So are they for thinking regional releases are still a thing, though.) Anyway, the album is meh by Onyx standards, with fairly pedestrian beats and even more pedestrian rhymes.
30. Aeges "Above & Down Below"
Sounds like Cave In and Queens of the Stone Age had a baby, and it was Bam Bam from the Flinstones. Lots of stone club action up in this motherfucker. The trouble I had with this album, and a lot of albums this year, is that it died after track 7. Nothing caught my ear after a certain point. It was chugging along, then...nothin'.
29. La Roux "Trouble In Paradise"
I really dug their self-titled debut, but this one just didn't have the same level of songs. Still really dug "Silent Partner" (though I wish it were about 90 seconds shorter. The third false ending felt a bit much.)
28. Machine Head "Bloodstone & Diamonds"
Their worst since "Supercharger", but dude, look at the albums they've done since "Supercharger". Some bands would kill for an album that's "not quite up to the par of 'Through The Ashes Of Empires' ".
27. Umphrey's McGee "Similar Skin"
This is a weird album. Their last one "Death By Stereo" sounded more like Minus The Bear, but this one sounds like they let JY and Tommy Shaw from Styx write the record and then came in and added their own flourishes. Hey, don't get me wrong, Young & Shaw wrote some cool shit, but it's just a little out of place.
26. Casualties Of Cool
Very vibey record. You have to be in the mood for it, and even then, half the songs don't seem that important. But when it's the right time, the songs that do matter matter all over your earholes. It's also about a sentient moon that traps astronauts with a siren song and makes them prisoners of their own fear. Oh, and it sounds like haunted Johnny Cash songs. Dig? Dig.
25. OFF! "Wasted Years"
The same album they come out with every year. And though it's kinda wearing thin, OFF! is still pretty fun when you want some hard core, early 80's punk delivered via 2014.
24. Body Count "Manslaughter"
Kinda thought this would rank higher, to tell you the truth. You wanna talk fun, that's what this record is. FUN. An album to just wild the fuck out to and nod your head.
23. Band Of Skulls "Himalayan"
Decent, nod your head indie rock. Gets a little blah after the halfway point, but still has its merits on the back end.
22. Onyx "Turndafucup"
You're not seeing double: After eleven years of not releasing a studio album, Onyx came back with two this year. And they were...kinda meh, and this one was a glorified B-Sides/Remix album. But still, this had some decent stuff on it, in spite of two songs (tracks 8 & 10) having the exact same second verse and...can we forget the two "bonus" songs ever happened? (Note to "legacy" acts: Please stop remaking your shit. It especially doesn't work in rap.)
21. NOFX "Backstage Passport Soundtrack"
Excluding "The Longest EP", this is their funnest album since "The War On Errorism" in 2003.
20. Devin Townsend "Dark Matters"
The first Ziltoid album had a cheap-looking puppet and was done entirely by one man with a pod6. This has a 2,000 person choir and guest stars Chris Jericho as Captain Spectacular. It would be great if not for the fact that this is a concept album where you can barely understand half the lyrics. Without the narration, you'd be lost because having 2,000 people sing something really makes it lose definition. (Spoiler Alert: Ziltoid and the War Princess end up on the “Casualties Of Cool” planet at the end.)
19. Dog Fashion Disco "Sweet Nothings"
Good to see these guys back in action.
18. Killer Be Killed
A supergroup with Brent Hinds from Mastodon, Max Cavalera, some guy from Dillinger Escape Plan and another guy who used to be in The Mars Volta (because there’s always a guy why used to be in The Mars Volta). It sounds like the perfect average of those four things without really sounding like any one of them. Max’s vocals are probably the clearest they’ve been since maybe “Chaos A.D.”.
17. Steel Panther "All You Can Eat"
Comedy metal at its finest.
16. Ingrid Michaelson "Lights Out"
She's been threatening to make a pop album for years, just towing the line, and this is the year she finally put part of her foot across and left it planted. There are plenty of good songs on here, but some of them are just too poppy for me.
15. The Atomic Spins
Hey, I know these guys! (At least the drummer. 'Sup, Aaron!) A damn fine six-song EP. It's indie rock without being hipster.
14. The Asteroids Galaxy Tour "Bring Us Together"
Former Best Album Of 2012 Winners The Asteroids Galaxy Tour don’t quite make it back to the same heights as “Out Of Frequency”, but that was a tough, tough act to follow. Fortunately, this album is still good. It takes a little getting used to, possibly because of the high expectations (and because the intro is a little annoying), but once you settle in, it’s an enjoyable ride.
13. Spiral Trance "Triggers"
Hey, I know these guys too! The Trance continues to roll on with a darker approach. To quote singer Paul Karcz, “This song is about death...Well, they’re all about death.” Definitely music for exorcizing your demons.
12. Prong "Ruining Lives"
I’m on the fence about Prong’s thrashier output of late, but only when comparing it to their past work. They (well, Tommy Victor and whoever else is in Prong now) know how to fucking THRASH.
11. 2Melo "Final Fantasy: The 3-6 Chambers"
A mashup of music from Final Fantasy III (VI in Japan) and songs from members of the Wu-Tang Clan, who are famous for their 36 Chambers. Need I say more?
10. Imogen Heap "Sparks"
Okay. Based on my Top Songs Of 2014 blog, you could make the case that this is the best album of the year, because holy shit, Imogen Heap isn't even playing the same game as the rest of ‘em. But then again, as an album, that's what makes it so hard to compare. The artistic merit is there beyond anything, being that each song is based off the fourteen separate art projects that inspired them, but at the same time, how often do I want to listen to them? If I trot this disc out consistently, I’ll start to see the wires. I don’t even want to see the brushstrokes. I want to keep everything on here as magical as possible. So how do you properly rank an album that’s subconsciously encouraging you not to listen to it? I guess...number 10? Number 10, then.
9. Slipknot ".5: The Gray Chapter"
The album has two problems that compound each ohter: Same-itis, and a long run time. Some of the songs just feel redundant after awhile, but taken in a vacuum, they’re all good (with the possible exception of the closer). This feels more like their first album than anything else they’ve ever done, albeit with the melody that made their third and fourth albums polarizing (and I would argue interesting). Definitely an adrenalizer.
8. Mastodon "Once More 'Round The Sun"
An album that impresses me when I listen to it for its technical prowess and song structures, but for some reason never leaves much of an impression on me. It’s really weird. I should be more into this record than I am. But something’s...not missing, necessarily, or even lacking. I’m just not making the connection I should with this album. I give it the 8 slot as a provision against the assumption that I will really start jamming this shit in a few months, so like Imogen Heap, 8 is as close to accurate as I can get without being able to even approximate ‘accurate’.
7. Animals As Leaders "The Joy Of Motion"
This album has a few plain duds. “Air Chrysalis” is boring. The closing track is dull. But the other songs are so good, they more than make up for it. (They better. Four of them were in my Top 20 Songs Of 2014.) Actually come to think of it, those two are the only ones I have a problem with. If you want insanity with eight strings tempered with good to great compositional ability, here you go.
6. Skrillex "Recess"
This was a candidate for #1 for most of the year. One of the most legitimately fun listens of 2014. The reason it’s all the way back at #6 though, is because of track 9 and 11 being...eeeehhhh, a bit meh.
5. St. Vincent
I had this pegged for #1 until about August. Then I kinda got sick of it, then I let it chill for a few months, then I picked it back up and realized this is a really cool album with a major flaw. Tracks 1-8 are amazing, but 9, 10 & 11 are forgettable. I rarely make it that far. This is a problem a good deal of albums lately have: Everything’s only 35-42 minutes now with 11 songs, and almost nobody can come through with an album full of decent shit. St. Vincent still ranks so high because, dude, six of her songs made my top 20. But it’s still kind of bizarre that albums like Prong’s and Spiral Trance’s, which were all killer and no filler, rank lower because so many songs from this album spoke to me on a bunch of levels. In spite of the three at the end, which I couldn’t name nor tell you how they sound. Like I said, this has been a weird fucking year. (And going forward on this countdown, it will only get weirder.)
4. Weird Al Yankovic "Mandatory Fun"
This was 12 songs I wouldn’t skip (except maybe “Jackson Park Express”, but only if I didn’t have the 9 minutes to spare). A lot of people take Weird Al’s musicianship for granted, but dude, he and his band have had to replicate pop hits for almost 35 years, and have managed to make parodies that sound almost identical to the songs they’re lampooning. And sooo many different genres. That takes talent, son. And Weird Al keeps it up with this latest (and if you believe the press, his last full length album) installment.
3. Run The Jewels 2
This was the only real rap album released this year. There were only five on this list, and I’ll disqualify the other four thusly: “Wakedafucup” was only available in select markets (read: Europe), Body Count was a rap/rock record, “Turndafucup” was a B-Side album and 2 Mello was a mashup between video game music from 20 years ago and various Wu-Tang shits from the 90’s and early 00’s. Run The Jewels 2 goes harder than anything else this year in any genre. They. Do. Not. Give. A. FUCK. The reason this didn’t get any songs in the Top 20 songs blog was not because of a lack of quality, but because of an overabundance of density. This is not music you can just passively listen to. Even on your fourth listen, you still won’t know the words because there are just so damn many of them. Fuck, the album even comes with a lyric sheet. And for once, for ONCE, a short album from this year with just 11 songs goes 11 for 11 and all of them would knock you the fuck out. This was going to be my number one album, if only it weren’t for:
2. Neil Cicierega "Mouth Sounds"
“Mouth Sounds” is an absolute mindfuck the first time you listen to it. It uses Smash Mouth’s “All Star” as a repeating musical motif, putting it into songs like “Float On” by Modest Mouse, the Full House theme, “Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger” by Daft Punk, and even going so far as to commit musical blasphemy by pairing it with John Lennon’s “Imagine”. Shit, the opening is Mussorgsky’s “Pictures At An Exhibition” with the vocal track of “All Star” as the musical instrument. There are also other crazy things, like “Mullet With Butterfly Wings”, a perfect cross-section of Smashing Pumpkins and Loverboy, “Imma Let It Be”, which puts The Black Eyed Peas and The Beatles together in unholy matrimony, and “Bills Like Jean Spirit”, which proves Michael Jackson was Nirvana all along. It’s a bizarre, oddly beautiful masterpiece, surpassed only this year by:
1. Neil Cicierega "Mouth Silence"
Oh great. Now I’ve done it. I went and put a mash-up album at #1. What am I, Pitchfork? For fuck’s sake, it’s not even real music!
Regardless of your stance, let me assure you, what you are hearing is art. Using other people’s songs as musical instruments has been a thing since at least the 70’s. What makes this album special above all others in this year of our Lord Two Thousand And Fourteen is that it manages to take pop culture...and actually make something interesting out of it. I fucking HATE pop culture. Hell, I’m not even much a fan of the mash-up genre. But for some reason, I can’t think of anything better this year than part II to this crazy experiment.
If you’re gonna judge an album, here’s three criterion to do it with: Creativity, Artistic Merit and Enjoyment. “Mouth Silence” (and “Mouth Sounds”) are creative as fuck because they do new and exciting things with material that should be predictable. There’s artistic merit because Neil Cicierega has created something both unique and wholly unexpected out of recycled pieces of songs given little to no cultural value in the first place. And enjoyable? You have not lived until you’ve heard “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” and “We Didn’t Start The Fire” happening simultaneously as part of the same song.
As far as why I put “Mouth Silence” above “Mouth Sounds”, it’s easy. “Mouth Sounds” was the grand experiment that laid the groundwork, and “Mouth Silence” is made with the benefit of knowing what worked the first time and what didn’t. It’s the tightening up of all the loose spots; the perfecting of a process. Maybe that’s too grand an assessment. Perfection was never the aim. Just making something for people to enjoy seems to be the goal, and buddy, mission motherfucking accomplished!
A side note: I did some digging into this Neil Cicierega guy, and found out, holy shit you guys, he’s not only responsible for this:
But this:
This trifecta of awesome is why I hereby crown Neil Cicierega the troubadour of the internet. All hail!
And that’s it. 2014 is all done, and it’s time to get ready for 2015. Why? Because, the years start comin’, and they don’t stop comin’! Peace!
So, coming off a year last year that had me doubting my interest in writing and music in their entireties, how did we do this year? Well, music is pretty fucking weak, to be honest. Impressively enough, there is something good I can say about every entry on this list, and that's never happened before, but that's also part of the problem. The distance between the top and the bottom entries in quality has never been so small, and therefore everything kinda averages out. It was an average quality year. Couple that with a dismal year for quantity (I can make a top 40 out of every year going back to the 80's if I wanted to, with the possible exception of 2006, and maybe 2002), and you've got one kinda dogshit year. But like I said, I can say something good about every single album on this list, so there's that.
So now, let's see what 2014 had to offer. Here we go!
38. Monte Pittman "The Power Of Three"
The lead single and the first two tracks had me on some Radio Raheem shit, but then it turned into a late-period KISS album. Not even his former Prong-mate Aaron Rossi on drums nor the 14-minute closer with guest shots from Alex Skolnik & Chris Barnes could save this one from the basement slot. (Ironically enough, if this was 2012, this might be in the same #38 slot, but have 45 albums beneath it.)
37. Greetings From The Imposter "Impressive Debut Release"
Winner of The Most Disappointing Album of the Year, but with a caveat. It's not really an album. It's a radio show parody with four poorly recorded songs at the end. GFTI's live show is fucking AMAZING. If you have a chance to go see them, go see them. There's so much more energy in their songs live, which is why this one is so disappointing.
36. Phantogram "Voices"
Listening to this to see where it went on the countdown, I kinda blahed out on the first two songs, but then I heard track three and instantly remembered why I bought this album in the first place. "Fall In Love" is fucking incredible, and should have been on my Top 20 Songs Of 2014 List. I honestly forgot it existed until hearing it two days after posting that blog, so yeah, I fucked up. (Though that's what this band gets for being a pair of ghosts. OOOOHHHH!!! PhAN-tograaaaammmm. WwwooooooOOOOO...) Anyway, track four sucks balls, and by track six I stopped listening. But that one song, man. Shit, that's good.
35. Devin Townsend "Sky Blue"
One of my least favorite Devin Townsend releases. Just not feelin' it.
34. Tycho "Awake"
This album, specifically the opening track "Awake", is the perfect palate cleanser. No matter what you've been listening to, if you need to switch vibes real quick, if you need to reset your brain, just pump this real loud. It's soothing, pseudo-electronica and the rest of the album follows suit. I'd almost call it the smooth jazz equivalent of hipster music. I know, that sounds really awful, but trust me. If you need to clear out your brain, this is your jam. Listen to as long as necessary.
33. +++ [pronounced: Crosses]
Chino Moreno executes the soft touch with this one, and it's fairly decent. Just not music I'd want to listen to on a consistent basis.
32. Ghost Pope "The Complete Chronicles"
It's kind of cheating to put this on here since the "album" technically doesn't exist. It's just the collected demos and live recordings of my All Messed Up band this year. This shit was a lot of fun. It was the only time all I've done in a band was vocals, and I hope someday we can find time to do more shit together. Here's most of our show from All Messed Up IVEver.
31. Onyx "Wakedafucup"
Released in Europe only, but the internet is a thing, so rather than pay $32 on Amazon...y'know. I am part of the problem. (So are they for thinking regional releases are still a thing, though.) Anyway, the album is meh by Onyx standards, with fairly pedestrian beats and even more pedestrian rhymes.
30. Aeges "Above & Down Below"
Sounds like Cave In and Queens of the Stone Age had a baby, and it was Bam Bam from the Flinstones. Lots of stone club action up in this motherfucker. The trouble I had with this album, and a lot of albums this year, is that it died after track 7. Nothing caught my ear after a certain point. It was chugging along, then...nothin'.
29. La Roux "Trouble In Paradise"
I really dug their self-titled debut, but this one just didn't have the same level of songs. Still really dug "Silent Partner" (though I wish it were about 90 seconds shorter. The third false ending felt a bit much.)
28. Machine Head "Bloodstone & Diamonds"
Their worst since "Supercharger", but dude, look at the albums they've done since "Supercharger". Some bands would kill for an album that's "not quite up to the par of 'Through The Ashes Of Empires' ".
27. Umphrey's McGee "Similar Skin"
This is a weird album. Their last one "Death By Stereo" sounded more like Minus The Bear, but this one sounds like they let JY and Tommy Shaw from Styx write the record and then came in and added their own flourishes. Hey, don't get me wrong, Young & Shaw wrote some cool shit, but it's just a little out of place.
26. Casualties Of Cool
Very vibey record. You have to be in the mood for it, and even then, half the songs don't seem that important. But when it's the right time, the songs that do matter matter all over your earholes. It's also about a sentient moon that traps astronauts with a siren song and makes them prisoners of their own fear. Oh, and it sounds like haunted Johnny Cash songs. Dig? Dig.
25. OFF! "Wasted Years"
The same album they come out with every year. And though it's kinda wearing thin, OFF! is still pretty fun when you want some hard core, early 80's punk delivered via 2014.
24. Body Count "Manslaughter"
Kinda thought this would rank higher, to tell you the truth. You wanna talk fun, that's what this record is. FUN. An album to just wild the fuck out to and nod your head.
23. Band Of Skulls "Himalayan"
Decent, nod your head indie rock. Gets a little blah after the halfway point, but still has its merits on the back end.
22. Onyx "Turndafucup"
You're not seeing double: After eleven years of not releasing a studio album, Onyx came back with two this year. And they were...kinda meh, and this one was a glorified B-Sides/Remix album. But still, this had some decent stuff on it, in spite of two songs (tracks 8 & 10) having the exact same second verse and...can we forget the two "bonus" songs ever happened? (Note to "legacy" acts: Please stop remaking your shit. It especially doesn't work in rap.)
21. NOFX "Backstage Passport Soundtrack"
Excluding "The Longest EP", this is their funnest album since "The War On Errorism" in 2003.
20. Devin Townsend "Dark Matters"
The first Ziltoid album had a cheap-looking puppet and was done entirely by one man with a pod6. This has a 2,000 person choir and guest stars Chris Jericho as Captain Spectacular. It would be great if not for the fact that this is a concept album where you can barely understand half the lyrics. Without the narration, you'd be lost because having 2,000 people sing something really makes it lose definition. (Spoiler Alert: Ziltoid and the War Princess end up on the “Casualties Of Cool” planet at the end.)
19. Dog Fashion Disco "Sweet Nothings"
Good to see these guys back in action.
18. Killer Be Killed
A supergroup with Brent Hinds from Mastodon, Max Cavalera, some guy from Dillinger Escape Plan and another guy who used to be in The Mars Volta (because there’s always a guy why used to be in The Mars Volta). It sounds like the perfect average of those four things without really sounding like any one of them. Max’s vocals are probably the clearest they’ve been since maybe “Chaos A.D.”.
17. Steel Panther "All You Can Eat"
Comedy metal at its finest.
16. Ingrid Michaelson "Lights Out"
She's been threatening to make a pop album for years, just towing the line, and this is the year she finally put part of her foot across and left it planted. There are plenty of good songs on here, but some of them are just too poppy for me.
15. The Atomic Spins
Hey, I know these guys! (At least the drummer. 'Sup, Aaron!) A damn fine six-song EP. It's indie rock without being hipster.
14. The Asteroids Galaxy Tour "Bring Us Together"
Former Best Album Of 2012 Winners The Asteroids Galaxy Tour don’t quite make it back to the same heights as “Out Of Frequency”, but that was a tough, tough act to follow. Fortunately, this album is still good. It takes a little getting used to, possibly because of the high expectations (and because the intro is a little annoying), but once you settle in, it’s an enjoyable ride.
13. Spiral Trance "Triggers"
Hey, I know these guys too! The Trance continues to roll on with a darker approach. To quote singer Paul Karcz, “This song is about death...Well, they’re all about death.” Definitely music for exorcizing your demons.
12. Prong "Ruining Lives"
I’m on the fence about Prong’s thrashier output of late, but only when comparing it to their past work. They (well, Tommy Victor and whoever else is in Prong now) know how to fucking THRASH.
11. 2Melo "Final Fantasy: The 3-6 Chambers"
A mashup of music from Final Fantasy III (VI in Japan) and songs from members of the Wu-Tang Clan, who are famous for their 36 Chambers. Need I say more?
THE TOP 10:
10. Imogen Heap "Sparks"
Okay. Based on my Top Songs Of 2014 blog, you could make the case that this is the best album of the year, because holy shit, Imogen Heap isn't even playing the same game as the rest of ‘em. But then again, as an album, that's what makes it so hard to compare. The artistic merit is there beyond anything, being that each song is based off the fourteen separate art projects that inspired them, but at the same time, how often do I want to listen to them? If I trot this disc out consistently, I’ll start to see the wires. I don’t even want to see the brushstrokes. I want to keep everything on here as magical as possible. So how do you properly rank an album that’s subconsciously encouraging you not to listen to it? I guess...number 10? Number 10, then.
9. Slipknot ".5: The Gray Chapter"
The album has two problems that compound each ohter: Same-itis, and a long run time. Some of the songs just feel redundant after awhile, but taken in a vacuum, they’re all good (with the possible exception of the closer). This feels more like their first album than anything else they’ve ever done, albeit with the melody that made their third and fourth albums polarizing (and I would argue interesting). Definitely an adrenalizer.
8. Mastodon "Once More 'Round The Sun"
An album that impresses me when I listen to it for its technical prowess and song structures, but for some reason never leaves much of an impression on me. It’s really weird. I should be more into this record than I am. But something’s...not missing, necessarily, or even lacking. I’m just not making the connection I should with this album. I give it the 8 slot as a provision against the assumption that I will really start jamming this shit in a few months, so like Imogen Heap, 8 is as close to accurate as I can get without being able to even approximate ‘accurate’.
7. Animals As Leaders "The Joy Of Motion"
This album has a few plain duds. “Air Chrysalis” is boring. The closing track is dull. But the other songs are so good, they more than make up for it. (They better. Four of them were in my Top 20 Songs Of 2014.) Actually come to think of it, those two are the only ones I have a problem with. If you want insanity with eight strings tempered with good to great compositional ability, here you go.
6. Skrillex "Recess"
This was a candidate for #1 for most of the year. One of the most legitimately fun listens of 2014. The reason it’s all the way back at #6 though, is because of track 9 and 11 being...eeeehhhh, a bit meh.
5. St. Vincent
I had this pegged for #1 until about August. Then I kinda got sick of it, then I let it chill for a few months, then I picked it back up and realized this is a really cool album with a major flaw. Tracks 1-8 are amazing, but 9, 10 & 11 are forgettable. I rarely make it that far. This is a problem a good deal of albums lately have: Everything’s only 35-42 minutes now with 11 songs, and almost nobody can come through with an album full of decent shit. St. Vincent still ranks so high because, dude, six of her songs made my top 20. But it’s still kind of bizarre that albums like Prong’s and Spiral Trance’s, which were all killer and no filler, rank lower because so many songs from this album spoke to me on a bunch of levels. In spite of the three at the end, which I couldn’t name nor tell you how they sound. Like I said, this has been a weird fucking year. (And going forward on this countdown, it will only get weirder.)
4. Weird Al Yankovic "Mandatory Fun"
This was 12 songs I wouldn’t skip (except maybe “Jackson Park Express”, but only if I didn’t have the 9 minutes to spare). A lot of people take Weird Al’s musicianship for granted, but dude, he and his band have had to replicate pop hits for almost 35 years, and have managed to make parodies that sound almost identical to the songs they’re lampooning. And sooo many different genres. That takes talent, son. And Weird Al keeps it up with this latest (and if you believe the press, his last full length album) installment.
3. Run The Jewels 2
This was the only real rap album released this year. There were only five on this list, and I’ll disqualify the other four thusly: “Wakedafucup” was only available in select markets (read: Europe), Body Count was a rap/rock record, “Turndafucup” was a B-Side album and 2 Mello was a mashup between video game music from 20 years ago and various Wu-Tang shits from the 90’s and early 00’s. Run The Jewels 2 goes harder than anything else this year in any genre. They. Do. Not. Give. A. FUCK. The reason this didn’t get any songs in the Top 20 songs blog was not because of a lack of quality, but because of an overabundance of density. This is not music you can just passively listen to. Even on your fourth listen, you still won’t know the words because there are just so damn many of them. Fuck, the album even comes with a lyric sheet. And for once, for ONCE, a short album from this year with just 11 songs goes 11 for 11 and all of them would knock you the fuck out. This was going to be my number one album, if only it weren’t for:
2. Neil Cicierega "Mouth Sounds"
“Mouth Sounds” is an absolute mindfuck the first time you listen to it. It uses Smash Mouth’s “All Star” as a repeating musical motif, putting it into songs like “Float On” by Modest Mouse, the Full House theme, “Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger” by Daft Punk, and even going so far as to commit musical blasphemy by pairing it with John Lennon’s “Imagine”. Shit, the opening is Mussorgsky’s “Pictures At An Exhibition” with the vocal track of “All Star” as the musical instrument. There are also other crazy things, like “Mullet With Butterfly Wings”, a perfect cross-section of Smashing Pumpkins and Loverboy, “Imma Let It Be”, which puts The Black Eyed Peas and The Beatles together in unholy matrimony, and “Bills Like Jean Spirit”, which proves Michael Jackson was Nirvana all along. It’s a bizarre, oddly beautiful masterpiece, surpassed only this year by:
1. Neil Cicierega "Mouth Silence"
Oh great. Now I’ve done it. I went and put a mash-up album at #1. What am I, Pitchfork? For fuck’s sake, it’s not even real music!
Regardless of your stance, let me assure you, what you are hearing is art. Using other people’s songs as musical instruments has been a thing since at least the 70’s. What makes this album special above all others in this year of our Lord Two Thousand And Fourteen is that it manages to take pop culture...and actually make something interesting out of it. I fucking HATE pop culture. Hell, I’m not even much a fan of the mash-up genre. But for some reason, I can’t think of anything better this year than part II to this crazy experiment.
If you’re gonna judge an album, here’s three criterion to do it with: Creativity, Artistic Merit and Enjoyment. “Mouth Silence” (and “Mouth Sounds”) are creative as fuck because they do new and exciting things with material that should be predictable. There’s artistic merit because Neil Cicierega has created something both unique and wholly unexpected out of recycled pieces of songs given little to no cultural value in the first place. And enjoyable? You have not lived until you’ve heard “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” and “We Didn’t Start The Fire” happening simultaneously as part of the same song.
As far as why I put “Mouth Silence” above “Mouth Sounds”, it’s easy. “Mouth Sounds” was the grand experiment that laid the groundwork, and “Mouth Silence” is made with the benefit of knowing what worked the first time and what didn’t. It’s the tightening up of all the loose spots; the perfecting of a process. Maybe that’s too grand an assessment. Perfection was never the aim. Just making something for people to enjoy seems to be the goal, and buddy, mission motherfucking accomplished!
A side note: I did some digging into this Neil Cicierega guy, and found out, holy shit you guys, he’s not only responsible for this:
But this:
This trifecta of awesome is why I hereby crown Neil Cicierega the troubadour of the internet. All hail!
And that’s it. 2014 is all done, and it’s time to get ready for 2015. Why? Because, the years start comin’, and they don’t stop comin’! Peace!
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