COUNTDOWN ABORTED: A Look Back At 2013's Top Albums Countdown, And Why I Didn't Write It

Last year, I went to write my annual "Albums Of The Year" list, and something...happened.  Reading back the diatribe I posted in its place, I caught a faint whiff, a reminiscence of the anxiety I felt at the time.  I went back there for a second, and holy shit was it unpleasant.  I feel justified for having did what I did.  I was more burnt out on not just music but writing itself than I'd ever been in my life.  Why should I write a long, 10 page essay about music?  (In fact, I thought about quitting writing altogether.)

I've since come to realize: I don't hate writing.  I just hate my college major.  I wish I'd realized that before it was too late to switch, but c'est la vie.  That's one of the main reasons there's been a major drop-off in the amount of content on this blog.  (The other being too busy writing bullshit for J.A.M.S.  Yes, I major in something called J.A.M.S., and my institution of higher learning has managed to suck all the fun out of that somehow.)  (Also, I'm supposed to be writing a 12 page paper on how music can't make as much of a cultural impact as it used to because of the fragmentation brought about by digitalization, but I'm taking a break, so eat it.)

Anyway, I did get about four pages into writing the countdown last year, counting the introduction.  That's not nothing.  (1,711 words according to Works.)  It's just that...in the introduction to it, I'm my usual enthusiastic self, but by the third page, you can tell I despise having to pretend to give a shit.  That's a product of both the aforementioned burn out and the fact that, yes, even with the albums I liked, I just didn't (and still don't in most cases) give enough of a shit about them to write something.

So with that in mind, be on the lookout for my "Top Albums Of 2014" list, coming next week!!!  (The Top 20 Songs list will be up soon too.)  I can't really be more specific than that, since I am still writing this 12 page paper.  (Current progress:  Um, zero pages, technically, but I've done research and have a page and a half outlined.  See how it goes in the next 39 hours...)

Until I do manage to find time to wing out my year end lists on an unsuspecting (and possibly apathetic) internet populous, here's what I managed of last year's countdown:

[BLOGGER'S NOTE: I changed the original order by flipping "The Marshall Mathers LP 2" to number 1 over Janelle Monae, because I've listened to MMLP2 at least five times this year and "The Electric Lady" just once.  MMLP2 suffered from coming out in early November, so it wasn't until the end of January when I realized "Hmmm...that should've probably been #1.  So hey, now that I can change it, I did.  (I didn't bother changing anything else, because I didn't feel like it.  It stings a little seeing Rob Zombie at #11 since I couldn't tell you anything that's on that album beyond the single, but whatever.  I could look at a lot of my past countdowns and nitpick the order.  Hell even 2012 is a prime example.]

[Also, in spite of what I say below, E-40's "The Block Brochure" Volumes 4, 5 and 6 will not be appearing on the 2014 countdown, because, well, this.  Ironically enough, he just put out two more albums last week, but the copyright date on the back of the CD said 2015, so...tough titties Earl!  We'll peep "All Four Corners" next year.]


THE TOP 52 ALBUMS OF 2013

Hello, and welcome to the 2013 Year End Album Countdown!  I'm your host Nick Nutter, and we're going to take a look at what came out this year and put it in order (according to yours truly).  So let's get it started!

First some ground rules: This is, as always F.E.P.O. (For Entertainment Purposes Only).  If u mad, sound off in the comments.  If you're new here, that would make you one of only two non-bot, non-people-I-know to ever comment on this blog, and that would make my day!  I would love to make this a discussion.

Second, I have to have had a copy of the album in my possession at some point.  Sure I could go watch a Full Album YouTube video of the new KoRn album, but a) I don't feel like it, and b) I haven't bothered to get that shit yet, and probably won't for another three years until I get bored and torrent it to see what the fuck happened there.  So even though it came out this year, I didn't count it because I couldn't even be bothered to steal it.  There were also albums that I just didn't get to, like Pearl Jam, and albums I didn't know about (at least not until an hour after I initially typed this paragraph) like Jazz-Iz Christ.

This brings up one exception, however: E-40 just dropped three albums last week, and given that I already knew I had finals to prepare for, more wrestling blogs to write, two bands to practice for, a lack of discretionary income and the fact that I knew this was coming out a week after the release date, I've decided to include that one in next year's countdown, given that out of the last three years E-40 has landed or narrowly missed my top 10 (he landed at #11 in 2011 with "Revenue Retrievin': Overtime Shift / Graveyard Shift").  As it is, this is only one entry missing, since he releases two or three albums at a time all the time now (12 since April 2010!); I just put the ones that come out on the same day together to save time and space.  (And they're usually sequels to one another.)  Point is, "The Block Brochure: Welcome To The Soil Vol. 4, 5 & 6" was close enough to the deadline of writing this blog that I'm going to give it a pass for next year.

Okay, with that out of the way, if anybody has any questions, sound off in the comments and I'll be happy to answer them for you!  Let's light this candle!


52. Meshuggah "Pitch Black" (EP)
This was a free EP from Scion's series of metal releases that have their logo on the cover.  There's two songs on here, one of which is a live version of "Dancers To A Discordant System" and the other is some solo thing Frederik Thordendaal was tinkering with in 2003 called "Pitch Black" that he finished for this EP and voila.  An okay Meshuggah B-Side paired with an uninspired live thing (I'm not a huge fan of live albums unless they do something different with the material).  Meh.

51. Skrillex "Leaving" (EP)
It might surprise a lot of people to know I like Skrillex, but yeah, I like Skrillex.  This EP is even more lazy than "Pitch Black", as track 2 is just a sample palate and track 3 is pretty lame, but the song "The Reason" kicks ASS.  Pairing the ultimate uselessness of the format of an EP in this instance with the awesomeness of the one song averages out to a slightly better package than the Meshuggah one.

50. Junip
I heard a few songs from these guys, and thought they were pretty good, if a little too mellow, so I bought one of them (which turned out to be mislabeled; thanx Amazon) and wow did I forget real quick why I liked these guys in the first place. 

49. The Civil Wars
This wins the award for most disappointing album of the year.  I heard "The One Who Got Away" on a promo comp. and the song made such an impression on me that I ran out and bought the next day (making that my second trip to the record store in 18 hours).  Then I listened to the album, and by track 4 I was falling asleep.  The song I already technically had a copy of was the only one I liked.  The rest just didn't have any energy, going for a sleepy, folksy, country vibe that just didn't mesh with either my tastes or expectations.  Sorry y'all.

48. Conniption "Kamikaze"
Kick ass live band, just can't seem to get it together on LP yet.  Don't know what it is.

47. Injustice - Gods Among Us OST
This soundtrack sucked pretty damn hard, but there is one song on here that made my Top 20 Songs Of The Year list (the top 10, in fact), and that is Minus The Bear's "Walk On Air".  That shit is the shit.

46. Jay-Z "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
What a piece of shit this was.  FUCK this was lame.  The only two things Jay-Z has done that were worse than this were "The Dynasty: Roc La Familia" and "Unfinished Business" with R. Kelly.  The rhymes and beats are just so fucking lazy that I can't even be bothered to finish this senta

45. Sevendust "Black Out The Sun"
I think Sevendust...just needs to stop.  The album isn't bad...but why does it exist?  It's the same thing as everything else they've ever done, just...not notable in any respect.  On the other hand, side projects like Call Me No One and Hello Demons...Meet Skeletons are producing listenable joints.  They should break up into three or four groups for awhile and maybe reunite in ten years or something.  I dunno.

44. Sepultura "The Mediator Between The Head And The Hands Must Be The Heart"
This is the worst album the Sep has put out with Derrick Green, and one of their worst albums period.  It's a goddam MESS.  And Ross Robinson is at least 60 percent to blame.  He ruined this album with his terrible production.  Of course, it would've helped if there were some songs on here besides "The Age Of The Atheist".  The only thing this band has put out in any incarnation that's worse than this is "Morbid Visions", and I'm not even sure about that, because at least that has nostalgia attached to it.

43. Spock's Beard "Brief Nocturnes And Dreamless Sleep"
Spock's Beard is now on their third singer, and unlike their last change, I don't like this new guy.  They also have a new drummer since the dude that left was also their drummer, but whatever.  The songs here just aren't as good as the Nick D'Virgilio-era jams, and really don't quite measure up to much of the rest of their catalogue.  It feels like a "Hey!  We're still alive!  We promise!" album more than anything else.  Let's just hope it's a placeholder until the two new dudes can acclimate to the gig and start writing kick-ass shit again.

42. Intronaut "Habitual Levitations (Instilling Words With Tones)"
This is probably the second most disappointing album of the year.  2010's "Valley Of Smoke" was so awesome, I proclaimed these guys the next Tool.  Then they come out with this unfocused piece of shit.  It has moments, but none of them last for a whole song.  The closest this comes to a good song is "Milk Leg", which narrowly missed my Top 20 Songs Of 2013 list.

41. Anup Sastry "Ghost"
Impressive that the only real instrument on this album is drums (it's usually the other way around), but the whole album sounds the fucking same.  There were four songs that stood out, but everything just kinda blahed together.  (And yes, Anup Sastry is the guy's name, not the name of a group.)

40. The Winery Dogs
Run of the mill rock with technical proficiency on the edges.  If that's your bag, go nuts.

39. Ghostface Killah & Adrian Younge "Twelve Reasons To Die"
It's a concept album with a tired ass concept about mob shit.  The twist about coming back from the grave for revenge is somehow played as well; not sure how they managed to make that boring.  At least the songs are...ehh, okay.

38. Misery Signals "Absent Light"
37. Mega Ran "TRAP"
36. Chris Duarte Group "My Soul Alone"
35. Spiral Trance "All In Due Time - Acoustic" (EP)
34. She & Him "Volume 3"
33. A Pale Horse Named Death "Lay My Soul To Waste"

32. Alice In Chains "The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here"
The worst Alice In Chains album of all time, but hey, I still liked half of it.  Than ain't a bad average.

31. Alter Bridge "Fortress"
30. Jolly "The Audio Guide To Happiness Part Two"
29. And So I Watch You From Afar "All Hail Bright Futures"
28. Mindless Self Indulgence "How I Learned To Stop Giving A Shit And Love Mindless Self Indulgence"

27. Kanye West "Yeezus"
Self indulgent bullshit taken to the extreme.

26. Megadeth "Super Collider"
Yeah, it's pretty bad, but "Risk" is still worse.

25. Stone Sour "House Of Gold & Bones Part 2"
24. Fates Warning "Darkness In A Different Light"
23. Flotsam And Jetsam "Ugly Noise"
22. Red Fang "Whales And Leeches"
21. Deb Oh & The Cavaliers "Hieroglyphs" (EP)
20. Daft Punk "Random Access Memories"
19. Scale The Summit "The Migration"
18. Eisley "Currents"
17. Bad Religion "True North"
16. Soulfly "Savages"
15. Philip H Anselmo & The Illegals "Walk Through Exits Only"
14. Tomahawk "Oddfellows"
13. Suicidal Tendencies "13"
12. Neko Case "The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You"
11. Rob Zombie "Venomous Rat Regeneration Vendor"
10. Got Your Back Foundation Vol. 1
9. Oh Land "Wish Bone"
8. Halestorm "ReAnimation 2.0: The Covers EP"
7. Soilwork "The Living Infinite"
6. Lady Gaga "Artpop"
5. Clutch "Earth Rocker"
4. The Lonely Island "The Wack Album"
3. Coheed & Cambria "The Afterman: Descension"
2. Janelle Monae "The Electric Lady"
1. Eminem "The Marshal Mathers LP 2"


Comments

  1. Did you ever check out Deafheaven? Curious what you think of their 2013 album

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Decent music, but couldn't stand the vocals. The drummer is pretty sick, though.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts