Music Reviews, 8/8/20 - Taylor Swift, Kansas, Oddisee, Whitney Rose, The Chicks, Father John Misty & The Beths


Hello, and welcome to Episode Four of Drink The Fire Hose.  I figured since my backlog of albums I haven't got to is getting long as heck, I'd try to knock out more than usual this time around, so we have nine titles for you; a full batting order.  So who leads off?  Let's find out...

Kansas "The Absence Of Presence" ***

Yes, THE Kansas.  "Carry On Wayward Son", "Dust In The Wind".  THAT Kansas.To a point.  You know, any band around that long has to have some turnover so...what percentage of the classic lineup do we have left....?

Eh, more than I expected, honestly.  The drummer and guitarist Phil Ehart and Rich Williams have been there since the beginning.  And bass player Billy Greer's been there for 35 years...but purists would say that doesn't count because he joined the band after their glory years and yeah, I hear that, but this version of Kansas, which has a lot of earmarks that nod back to the O.G. band anyway and sound more like themselves than on something like, say, 1986's "Power"...I'm gonna give 'em a pass.  He does a solid-ass job.  They all do.

In fact, I had no idea original vocalist Steve Walsh retired in 2014 until I looked it up.  I thought he was on the first song at least.  Of course once I knew it, it became obvious, but the new guy Ronnie Platt (who's done two albums with the band already) sounds pretty close.  The most important thing is his vocals gel really well with the material they bring.

And what do they bring?

These are certainly Kansas songs, I'll say that.  They're a little downtempo and lack a bit of energy, but like I said, band's been around since the early 70's.  Going on half a century now.  I think they're trying to modernize their sound a little, but being smart about it by trying to go the Neal Morse route and make it sound more like his solo work or Spock's Beard.  Can you imagine Kansas trying to be djent, or trap?  I mean, we've heard Pete Townsend fuck around with autotune already this year; this could have been a lot more embarrassing than it was.

And it's not embarrassing.  If you're trying to make a veteran prog act sound at least sort of in step with...the last 20 years of the genre without erasing their sound, "The Absence Of Presence" strikes that balancing act.  If you're looking to see if this is for you, listen to the title track, "Throwing Mountains" or "Animals On The Roof".  Those are the standouts, but the rest are at least close to that level.

I'd give this a three out of five.  I didn't expect anything good out of what should by all rights be a zombie version of a fifty year old classic rock band, but I gotta say, Kansas still sounds remarkably alive.

Oddisee "Odd Cure" ** and 3/4

I really liked "The Iceberg" back in 2017, so when I saw this pop up in new releases, I said "Yeah!"; I jumped on it and listened.

And...look.  If you're one of the people that hated albums from the late 90's, early 2000's that padded itself out with skits, most of the time with recorded phone calls or voicemails....I've got some bad news for you.

What makes it worse here is this thing is only 11 tracks and 30 minutes long.  And FIVE OF THE TRACKS ARE PHONE CALLS.  This is an EP that got stretched to album length by making a full quarter of the run time phone conversations.

So yeah this project had an uphill battle to get on my good side.  And yeah, he's not trying quite as hard as he was on "The Iceberg", but that's a plus and a minus.  I wouldn't say he was trying too hard on that album necessarily, but the laid back nature of some of these songs at least switches his flow up, which is what kept me from loving "The Iceberg" instead of just really liking it.

"Shoot Your Shot" is the standout example of this.  It's aspirational, but the weight of the world isn't riding on every syllable.  It's more "Eh, go ahead.  Don't know 'til you try, right?"  (Which I find is great advice in general; I should really follow it more.)  And the instrumental is boomin' yet laid back and jazzy.

The phone calls make their next intrusion after that, killing the momentum dead in its tracks.  The calls are all Oddisee checking in on family members during quarantine, and there is something novel about that on first listen; it does make it a time capsule of this time, but as an album that makes it dated already since this was during the first lockdown.  That already seems like another lifetime ago, and certainly two existential crisees ago, so by the time this project hit my ears in late July, it's already ancient history.

"Still Strange" actually talks about the weirdness of getting used to quarantine life, virus-related unemployment, and the self-reflection that isolation forces on you, illustrated best by this lyric here:

If dealing with the virus (among other things) has taught me one thing, it's don't take anything for granted.  Enjoy what you have while you have it because nothing is forever, and change can and will be cataclysmic.  What you have you might not have six HOURS from now, much less six months.  Including your life.  Your liberty.  Your loved ones.  Don't take any of them for granted.  All of it is in play.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Of course, that's been true as long as entropy has existed, but the time frame is smaller and the danger is magnified now, so you can see it plainer.  It's getting harder, but choose love over fear.  Learn from our mistakes.

Oh, hey, we were talking about an album.  It's...fine, I guess.  The songs were all at least good, but outside of "Shoot Your Shot" and "Still Strange", I didn't hear much to latch on to.  But I'd still recommend checking out the rest of it, though the fact dude has a song called "No Skips" on an album that's almost half skits by quantity, and is stuck between two skits no less, like...come on.  I'd give it two and three quarters for good songs in a bad package.

Metrixx "TikTok Hits 2020"

Any time someone talks about putting hands in a girl's mouth, it makes me feel real uncomfortable.  So when that's in the hook of the first song, I'm already not on your side.  Musically, this is nothing to write home about but not necessarily shitty.  Just painfully generic.

Then track three happened.  I have no idea if this is actually Jason Derulo because there's no feature credits, but it says it is, but it also sounds like a white dude doing an imitation of Jason Derulo and everything I said about the first two tracks is out the window because the production sounds SO dirt cheap.  "Party Girl" is a special kind of shit too; that hook is ABYSMAL.

Look, I'm not plugged into Tik Tok.  I don't knowingly fuck with malware and I'm old.  But when track five hit, I finally got what this project was: A bunch of covers of songs popular on Tik Tok.  

So okay, we're talking bargain basement white boy covers of Tik Tok hits, let's see how many of these songs I can recognize:

So far only Tracks 3 and 5.  Track 6 is "Breaking Me".  Looking on Google Play trying to figure out the original artist is useless, since the most popular version of the song is Metrixx's other version of the same track (which is identical) from a project called "Summer Hits 2020".  Google Play is dead.

But then I clicked play in the highest ranked versions besides Metrixx and Dance Time Trio and Ray-X have posted the SAME EXACT TRACK.  Literally the same MP3 file just labeled four different ways and uploaded to streaming.  What the fuck is going on here?

I did some digging and the original appears to be by an artist called A7S, and I know it's different because the vocals don't sound pitch shifted like the imposters do.  This album we've stumbled onto here is a scam of some caliber and I'm not sure I want to keep going.  It'll just give 'em clicks.  But, since I'm using this to make content with, I guess fair is fair.  So what other fuckery do we have afoot?

If "After Party" didn't have the most generic lyrics I've ever heard and a stabby, whiny vocal delivery this beat is not half bad.  It's got a little bite to it, but every cliché rap party lyric you've heard in the last 25 years is crammed into two minutes.

"Magic In The Hamptons" is a little better; because I'm not familiar with the original, I could almost be tricked into believing it was a real song.  Then dude actually says "Lil Boat", and I had to facepalm.

"Toosie Slide" is obviously Drake.  Metrixx actually does a pretty good approximation of the song here; if you weren't paying attention, you'd think this might be the original.  I was kind of hoping he would try to do a Meghan Thee Stallion impersonation for "Savage", but he got a woman in to do that one.  Dis-a-pointing.

It was at this point (track 11) that I got bored with this whole endeavor and decided to bail.  I skimmed through some of the other tracks and it stopped being amusing.  There was one song covered on here that I guess is a perfect segue to announce that I'll be doing a worst songs list this year for the first time.  I wanted to do one last year, but the decade lists got in the way.  Anyway, the song in question is called "Roses", and if you've heard the version on the radio (which, if you listen to pop radio is a distinct possibility since it's been in the top 10 for awhile and it was voted number one on my local pop station recently), that's a sneak preview of THAT list.

So yeah, this is a worthless, nothing burger of a project; it might be some kind of streaming scam, but covers of popular songs have had a long history so it's probably not ruining anybody's life or whatever.  It's a mere curiosity, but needless to say, zero stars.

Whitney Rose "We Still Go To Rodeos" *

The most stock simple indie country you could get your hands on.  Every song is pleasant but whispy, and combined with the vacuous, cliché lyrics it just does nothing for me.  The title track was okay I guess and like I said it's pleasing to the ear, but it feels like...nothing.  If you're into this kind of thing, go nuts, but I can only spare it one star.

Tennis "We Can Die Happy" ** and 1/2

This is from 2017, but I listened to it right after the other one and they're weirdly parallel.  Not only are they alphabetical neighbors by title in my streaming library, but they both thrive on whispy nothingness a la Kacey Musgraves, but Tennis doesn't use the country elements.  It owes more of a debt to the modern strain of 80's music running through indie pop.  "No Exit" has a groove to it that makes it more real than anything on either release.  But then the other songs are...fine.  There's only five on here, but it also feels like it's only two: "No Exit" and "I Miss That Feeling", and I didn't notice "I Miss That Feeling" until second listen.  "Born To Be Needed", "Diamond Rings" and "Building God" might as well not be there.

But the two songs that are good are worth returning to, and the other three are reasonable background fair, even if they struggle with whether they should bother to try and exist.  I'm willing to be kinder to this one because the vibe felt better, so: Two and a quarter out of five.

The Chicks "Gaslighter" *** and 1/2

They get real on a few of these songs.  "March March" makes outcry to the "What The Fuck"ery of having to arm teachers instead of dealing with the problems of people shooting other people.  And "Set Me Free" is a pretty blunt but honest look at divorce.  If you actually love the person but the relationship has been destroyed, set them free.  Otherwise, you're just in it to possess someone.  To win.  To control.  That's no good for anybody.

The title track is kind of catchy, but kneecaped by clunky syllable placement.  The whole song tries to cram too many words into each bar, but is still kind of fun despite its subject matter.  "Texas Man" just straight up slaps.  A few too many four on the floor naked kick patterns and a few too many slower songs, but overall not a bad album in the slightest.  Three and a half stars.

Father John Misty "Anthem + 3"

What.  The fuck.  Was this.

The first track, "Anthem" (you know, the one he named the EP after) sounds like all the instruments were done by overdubbing the same Casio keyboard onto each track.  The lyrics are vague and whispy, it sounds like it's given up on life, it's...it's fucking trash!  It sounds cheaper than Metrixx does for fuck sake!

"Fallin' Rain" at least sounds like a real song.  It's halfway decent 70's folk rock.  And "Trouble" sounds like an actual professional recording, but it's so morose it makes "God's Favorite Customer" sound like it had hope.  Maybe that's a bit hyperbolic, but the chorus is about giving up.  It doesn't want to fight, it doesn't want any trouble, it just wants to be "left alone in it's misery".  Direct quote.

But "One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong", though.  Jesus "One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong" is bad.  It's molasses slow, the vocals are serviceable at the beginning but by halfway they get insufferable.  And they wail and moan on for three more minutes, because yes, this song is a full seven and a half.  Imagine all the skits from The Oddisee's album stung together and put at the end of an EP ten minutes shorter in place of this dreck.  I would rather listen to that.  It's shit like this that makes me really hesitant to check out Father John Misty's supposed good albums because all I ever hear him do outside of a handful of amazing songs is...well, shit like this.  Dirges that do nothing to really describe his pain nor frame it in a way that makes people sympathetic or able to understand or care.  He's not trying to get past it, he's not trying to tell you how he got here, he's not even painting a picture of what here looks like.  He's.  Just.  Bitching.  And I'm not here for it.  Zero stars.

Taylor Swift "Folklore" ** and 1/2

Oh hey, look.  Taylor finally made the hipster record that's much cooler than hers.

Well, not really, of course; it's not possible to be that meta.  But the hipster part is there.  It's a cottagecore folk album co-produced by two dudes from The National and has Bon Iver on it.  Pitchfork gave it an 8 out of 10.  A Taylor Swift record got an 8 out of 10 on Pitchfork.  (Actually now that I look it up, it's only her fourth-highest rated album on that site out of eight.  Frickin' "Red" got a 9!)

So, I should probably state right up front that this is the first time I've clicked play on a Taylor Swift album.  I always meant to check out "1989" at some point, but I never got around to it.  And now we're....here.

Where's here?  After going from country upstart to pop country superstar to biggest pop star in the world to a bit of a flaming wreck (which she tried to pivot into with decidedly mixed results), everybody predicted Taylor would eventually make a stripped down, back to basics album at some point in the future, but everybody was shocked to their core when she dropped it 11 months after her previous pop leaning album, seemingly while it was still being promoted.

I'm actually surprised she didn't drop this instead of "Lover", but eh.  Knew we'd get here eventually.

I'm probably coming off as a hater, but honestly I'm not.  I actually like a reasonable handful of Taylor Swift songs, and outside of "Bad Blood", I've never really had a straight up problem with her.  Well, okay, there was "Me!", which was why I wanted to do a Worst Songs list last year after 13 years of not bothering, but yadda yadda, I already went into that.  And it wasn't even the worst song of last year but holy SHIT that chipper chorus made me cringe to my very core every time.  AND it was homicidally catchy.  Recipe for disaster.

Anyway, I came into this with an open mind, but not expecting much because laid back folk music isn't my jam.  But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised.  The first four songs are pretty good.  Especially "The Last Great American Dynasty"; I dug that.  On the way home from work, I heard "Exile" before I dug into the album and was pretty bored, but in context, it actually works a lot better.  The first three set the tempo and "Exile" puts it over the net.

Of course, the next three songs just sort of...happened.  Then again, did they?  I can't even be bothered to look up what they were called; I could never hear them again and not realize I'd missed anything.  But then "August" had a pretty good hook and made me perk my ears back up.

You see, if ya didn't know, Taylor Swift is a master craftswoman when it comes to writing a pop song.  Love it or hate it, she is a technical wizard when it comes to crafting a music.  And "August" has "It".

But the thing is, this album is definitely too long.  It's sixteen tracks and slightly over an hour.  It would have hit more if it had been ten songs and at or just short of forty minutes.  Then again, this album isn't trying to hit hard.  It's definitely in its feelings about shit, but doesn't sound depressed.  It's working through it.  It intends to come out the other side, but it will take this hour and change of reflection to find out exactly why it's gotten to where it is.  Father John Misty might want to take some notes.

I think I have to land on a rating of two and a half.  Cuz if she cut five or six of these songs, it would have hit a lot harder.  After awhile they all start to sound the same, everything blahs together and maybe that's part of the vibe, but it doesn't make for distinct listening and it kind of hampers the storytelling aspects because you have trouble remembering what song is what when going back to it.  Which is something I don't see myself doing, but I can understand the appeal.  I can even understand why someone would take this record to heart and make it their favorite.  And they wouldn't be wrong for that.  This just isn't for me.  And that's perfectly okay, because I've got....

The Beths "Jump Rope Gazers" *** and 2/3

This is so Human.  I just...get a warmth from this I don't with Taylor Swift, and I had no prior connection to The Beths before this besides hearing the first single.  I think maybe because it has a pulse to it whereas "Folklore" was kind of a slog.  This is almost half as long and yeah it's got guitars and it's upbeat in places, but it's not trying to rock your socks off.  It's not trying to be more than itself.  And because of the results, I like it.  It's a pleasant thirty eight minutes where the stakes aren't world-ending but the stories still mean something because the narrator learns and moves on.  They express their feelings, but they also grow.  And "Dying To Believe" is absolutely getting a strong look for my Top Songs of the Year list.  Rest assured.  "Jump Rope Gazers"  gets three and two thirds out of five.


And that'll do it for this go-round.  Stay safe, watch out for unmarked vehicles and shady characters, keep your health and sanity as long as you can, and I'll catch you in the next one.  Love over fear.

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