Music Reviews, 7-12-20

Welcome to episode three of Drink The Fire Hose, where we take a drink from pop culture's endless fountain of content and see how it tastes.  We have four reviews for you this time, so let's start it off with:

Little Simz "Drop 6" ** and 1/2

"One Life, Might Live" is the best song on here, but it's also the only distinct one.  It sets a laid back atmosphere, but aspirational at the same time.  Like a sleepy stoner going "Hhhey, yeahhhh.  I SHOULD do this thing...yeah..."  And they're high enough that it's 50-50 they'll not only do it, but they might get it right then and there.  They could also start chanting "I got one life and I might just live it" and they hear themselves repeating this mantra, but in reality they fall flat on their face halfway through slurring the first one and the rest is in their dreams.

The other songs are kinda take 'em or leave em.  This EP's fine, but even after a couple of listens I'm not getting much out of it.  It'll bob the head if you're on the right wavelength, but it'll also completely vanish from your memory afterward.

Except for one line in the last song....

Since the end of last year, pundits of every stripe have been debating the over/under on how many "20/20 Vision" bars we'd hear in rap this year...My money was not on Little Simz to be the first one I heard drop one.  It's...it's just too obvious.  Like, come on.  I'll defend a lot of corny shit; corny shit usually doesn't take me out of a rap song, but of all the things that are too on the nose...[sigh].

This EP is less than 13 minutes for five songs, its lyrics and beats are reasonably well crafted but not much to write home about.  It's a curiosity or a holdover more than a statement on its own, which is fine.  Two and a half out of five.

Phenomenal Handclap Band "PHB" *** and 3/4

I've been waiting for this one for eight years.  As a follow-up to 2012's "Form & Control", this album was announced on either KickStarter or IndieGoGo back in 2015, and had a few preview songs, but then a bunch of silence followed.  In 2017, they released a 7" single of "Traveler's Prayer" with the B-Side "Stepped Into The Night" (which is not on the album).  That song rips, but nothing else for quite awhile.

Until now.

Was the album worth the wait?  Not...exactly?  It sure felt like it for half of the first listen, but as soon as I said that out loud, it made a sharp 90 degree turn and parked it at about "meh" for the rest of the run.  Second listen?  The weight of the eight year expectation is off and I kind of know what to expect.  This is a fairer test of the material.

"Skyline" is nice and foreboding, it sets a mood of honey coated danger.  A mood I know they won't live up to because they've never been that kind of band and I know how the rest of the set plays out, but hey.  It still works somehow.

"Remain Silent" gets my head nodding and manages to keep me going for its six minute runtime.  Not easy to do.  "Charm Spectrum" sounds like Thomas Dolby and Wendy Carlos soundtracking a 70's Disney flick.  Actually, they're both still alive, we could make that collab happen.  If anybody watching this has the connections, that shit'd be dope.

"Do What You Like" sounds like Daft Punk's "Random Access Memories" if it worshipped mid-80's synth pop instead.  It makes sense if you listen to it.  If that description doesn't tell you it fucking slaps, just listen to it.  You'll see what I'm sayin'.

"Traveler's Prayer (EU Version; whatever that means; I haven't compared the 7" and this yet)" has a good chance of getting on my year end list for 2020.  It's still fucking amazing and it sounds like that one golden B-Side from one of your favorite albums that's discovered years later.  It sounds like that for "Form & Control".

And that's another thing I noticed about this record by the midway point.  Every song is different.  Look back at the descriptions I just gave: "Dark and moody with a sinister edge", "Head nodding indie funk", "Nerdy 70's Electronics", "80's Synth Dance Worship in the best way possible", "Beautiful piano-driven etheral questioning of your resolve".  Then "Judge Not" hits you with some 70's AM Gold by way of "Traveler's Prayer", and it's the two songs that fit the tightest together in the whole track list.  It's not that the other ones don't work together; that's what makes this thing amazing: all these disparate elements go one right after the other and none of the changes in style or substance take you out of it.

"Riot" sounds like it wouldn't be out of place if you snuck it onto Dua Lipa's latest album.  It really nails that specific modern re-interpretation of disco.  It's also worth noting that it's the most popular song from this album on Google Play, so that's...something?  (I mean it's not; if it was RTJ 4 would still be in the Top 10 and not down at 195 on Billboard.  The Google Play ecosystem is completely borked.)

It's weirdly prescient that they put "Riot" and "Jail" right next to each other in 2020, but this is also the point where I started checking out on first listen.  It's not as drastic a drop in quality as I first thought, as I like "Jail" a lot more second time around (not an actual endorsement for being arrested; stay out of custody if you can avoid it), but it's still a little too on the nose for a disco pastiche.  It works, but it's a little too slavishly devoted to its stylistic inspiration.

"The Healer" is 70's as fuck as well, but I think the congas switch it up enough that it rises above "Jail".  Also some meaner guitar lines give it some bite.  "Let Out On The Loose" follows "Form & Control" by proving Phenomenal Handclap Band save their weakest for last.  Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad song, but it's really tepid stacked up to the rest of these.

All in all, "P.H.B." delivers.  It is a solid album, it's in my mid-year top 10, and I'd be shocked if it doesn't at least stay in my top 15 by the end of the year.  If you're looking for vocal harmony driven retro-indie jams, this is your huckleberry.  Three and three quarters stars.

Teyana Taylor "The Album"

I knew nothing about this person or their music going in, so when the intro goes from an an onstage marriage proposal to a 911 call of a distressed husband helping to deliver a baby...I had no idea what was going on here.

Then the first song starts with high-pitched vocals that sound like...the baby that was just born might be singing it?  And it turns out it was!  The 911 call was Teyana Taylor giving birth and her husband, former Cleveland Cavaliers guard Iman Shumpert delivering it.  The daughter's like four and a half now so it is her singing backup on the hook, which starts by cross fading with the kid's first cries out of the womb and becoming the first vocal notes of the album.  That's really inspired.  I've got to give it up.

The song in question "Come Back To Me" has a spacey, lush soul instrumental with strings and piano accents and it's smooth as butter, but of course the first verse on the album is Rick Ross talking about money, comPLETELY undercutting all the atmosphere built up.  The rest of the song is Teyana singing and...she can carry a tune, but she really blends into the background.  I'm worried.

Because this album is 78 minutes long.  And "Wake Up Love" doesn't do anymore to assuage my confidence.  Iman Shumpert's guest rap on this is throwaway at best.  The song is tonally soothing, but the lyrics are unremarkable with the exception of "It's like a turban, I can rap my head around this shit but I need your brown skin; I'm like India..."  It's a reference to India.Arie, which makes sense after you look it up but...I guess points for what the fuckery?  The piano outro on this song is real nice, though.

"Lowkey" starts a little more promising, with a dreamy guitar ripple and jazzy notes, followed by mean sub hits.  This is better already.  The lyrics are still boilerplate, and the triplet flow in the second verse feels really played out and forced.  There's just enough distraction during the good moments on this album to take you out of them.  Also Erykah Badu's guest verse sounds kind of unnecessary, yet at the same time reminds me I could just be listening to Erykah Badu instead, singing better lyrics at that, so what's stopping me?  Can I just change this to a review of "Mama's Gun" or "New Amerykah Part II"?  No?  Whatever.

It's here where "The Album" starts to get a lot more sparse.  For a project that starts with a literal birth on tape, it squanders its potential real quick.  For real, how do you have a song with Missy Elliot on it and make the most languid, motionless, zoned out, banal, comatose thing in the universe?  When FUTURE is the most interesting thing on a track and he's not even TRYING you have found a nadir I didn't know existed.  Like, it takes anti-talent to make this.  You have to be so special at sucking to make something this...devoid.  Of everything.  TIMBALAND PRODUCED THIS SHIT.  HOW DO YOU MAKE TIMBALAND AND MISSY ELLIOT MORE BORING THAN FUTURE WHEN HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING?!?!

The next song "69" is the same!  It has this type of vocoder that's becoming more popular that gets under my skin because it's not in tune.  It's not even microtonal, it just makes a chord with bum notes in it, but it's becoming more prevalent in spite of that.

Then the album goes all Caribbean, so...there's that.  She tries to do reggaeton, but it's way too downtempo.  Then "Bad" has an annoying chorus, hammering the word into you over and over again.  Then, it's followed up by "Wrong Bitch".  We go from a chorus proclaiming she's a bad bitch to saying you've got the "Wrong Bitch".  And the vocal inflection tells me "Yeah, Wikipedia was right.  She has written songs for Chris Brown."  Lot of the same vocal inflection.  And...

Oh Jesus, that was only track twelve.  I'm only halfway through this album.

"Shoot It Up" is a little more emotionally resonant, but the lyrics plain suck.  Even Big Sean is unremarkable.  Any musical qualities this album had disappeared by track four and were replaced by lethargic, lazy production with no moving parts to speak of.  And then...

"Lose Each Other" has a clearly acoustic piano with dusty production coloring it, a guitar and an organ...this song feels real in the middle of a sea of plastic.  It's not written as a trope or a trick; it feels like Teyana is actually experiencing some modicum of these emotions as she sings.

And I say in the middle of that sea, because "Concrete" and it's copypaste trap groove and "We can fuck it away" lyrics just turn me off again.  I'd say it's several notches above the middle of the album, but it's still a 0.1 out of five.  "Still" shows a Mary J. Blidge worship in effect, and it's...tolerable.  One of the best songs on the album, but we're only up to one out of five.  I can see the appeal at least, but it's not for me.

"Try Again" is the first track that feels like a fully fleshed out song in about an hour.  Did I mention this was 78 minutes?  Talk about over compensating for not being allowed to add to her last project, which was part of Kanye's series of "7-song EP's we're gonna call albums because he wants credit for doing more than he does".

"Friends" is maybe the only song on this entire endeavor with a pulse.  Now we're up to two out of five.  I don't mind this terribly, but it's still not worth revisiting.  And the chorus is tempting: "If you wanna dip right now, you ain't gotta be let down; Go do you".  I mean, I might have taken you up on that if you'd said it 'round track nine, but we're on 20 already.  There's only three left, and they're getting better as they go, so might as well stick it out to the end.

"How You Want It?" has King Combs credited as a guest verse, and the percussion has some 90's touches to it, so I'm like "Did Puffy change his name again?  This is getting ridicu...."  No.  That's his son.  And then you remember the Biggie tribute was closer to 25 years ago than 20 and if you're my age you turn to dust and blow away.

"We Got Love" actually fulfils the lyrical promise of the premise of the intro, talking directly about how she gave birth on the bathroom floor.  This has a pulse too, actually it's the only upbeat song on the whole project.  I cannot describe how much of a slog it was to get to a song that...works I guess.  Best I can say about it after 75 mind-numbing minutes of awful.  Also, it says featurning Lauryn Hill, but it's just a sample of an interview so nice bait and switch.

I've talked about an album that bored me to death for longer than anything I've reviewed on this show yet, and I don't know how to feel about that.  There's potential here, there's some kind of skill, she's connected to great producers that could have and SHOULD have made something better out of this, but this is one of the worst things I've heard all year.  Zero stars.

Run The Jewels "RTJ 4" ****

I didn't want to write this review, because...it's been a month already.  What more needs to be said?  I don't have anything to add.  Except...

RTJ 4 puts me in a weird position.  I liked it, It's got the best lyrics I've ever heard from them, the beats bang...so why don't I want to listen to it again?  Why do I not even want to put in the 39 minutes to try and inspire myself to write about one of the best albums of the year?  And make no mistake, from a quality standpoint, from a thematic standpoint, from pretty much all the standpoints, I would be shocked if this doesn't make my top 5.  But then again, I might not.

I really don't know what the deal is.  Every Run The Jewels album up to now I've received different.  The first one, I liked but didn't love, returned to it again after two came out and felt about the same.  Two I loved immediately and if I hadn't discovered Neil Cicierega would have been my #1 album for 2014.  Three I didn't like at all the first two times I heard it, but some of the songs got stuck in my head and I decided to give it another go and it clicked.  This?  RTJ 4 is great for its entire runtime, and leaves me so fucking cold I can't stand it.

Maybe it's not made to be enjoyed.  I dunno.  But something about it...Maybe it's the perfect album for the time and because these times are not ones I want to be in or really need reminding of since they won't leave anybody alone, maybe that's why I'm a bit reluctant to hit play again.

And it has nothing to do with Killer Mike's schilling for the NRA.  I thought it would, but the depth and perspective of his lyrics make it impossible to not be on his side on this one.  It certainly held me back from listening to the album for a couple of weeks, because...When he said he would have disowned his own son for protesting SCHOOL SHOOTINGS right after saying the NRA gave him more of a space to be himself...I went from Run The Jewels being my favorite rap group to not being able to listen to them anymore.  Killer Mike puts a LOT of gunplay in his raps, and I couldn't hear anything but an ulterior motive in them for quite awhile.  That might not have changed for 1, 2 or 3 (I haven't gone back to listen to them yet), but with RTJ 4, I don't feel like it's there.

This record is no bullshit, through and through.  Well, okay, "Ooh La La" is kinda bullshit, but like it's a rap album, they're one of the most revered rap acts of the last decade, they can have a dick waving brag track.  And even then, it's still tinged with the unrest and insanity of the moment.  "Out Of Sight" I can't really say the same for.  Topically it veers off into kind of random shit and it's probably the weakest cut on here.  Still good, just not really sure it fits.

For all the talk of songs where people go "Oh my fucking GOD that BEAT SWITCH!"  "Holy Calamafuck" is maybe the only example I find works for me.  On paper those two beats do NOT go together, but in practice, it still doesn't match, but they're both good and they go next to each other, so...it works?  I don't know.  Explain triganometry when you haven't passed algebra 2 yet.

"Goonies VS E.T." is surprisingly hypnotizing, it's dark and grimey, but like, it's Goonies all the way.  I've never liked E.T.

Then there's "Walking In The Snow".  Killer Mike's verse on this is not only the best one this year (yes, I'm calling it even though we still have six months to go), but it's going to be revered by future generations as some Frederick Douglass level writing perfectly encapsulating this moment in history.  Except two things: One, it's looking more and more likely there won't be future generations, at least of Americans, and two: Killer Mike wrote and recorded in November 2019.  It goes to show this moment has been happening in excruciating slow motion for an incalculable stretch of time.

In fact, EL-P's verse on "Ju$t" refers to "chokehold cops".  Because this exact thing has happened before and nothing changed.  If anything, it's gotten worse.  But really, all I want for Christmas besides a peaceful end to this nightmare we find ourselves in is an El-P produced Zach de la Rocha solo album.  Listen to his verse on this and tell me that fucker wouldn't SLAP.

"Never Go Back" has a Tron-ass beat that makes me nod my head.  This is the sleeper song on this one, the deep cut that won't get love until maybe a year from now when people cycle back through and land on it and it'll be like they just realized it was there and Yooooo.  I love that feeling; I can't wait for y'all to feel it.

On "The Ground Below", Killer Mike advocates for sex workers to unionize.  I don't like the word progressive as it's been turned into a way to slander people and discredit ideas that should be fucking common sense by now.  We all know the way out of plenty of our crisees, yet we choose to do the dumb thing because...we don't want to look uncool?  The pimp system is exploitation personified; why not unionize?  Because we've been tricked into believing unions are the devil or even worse Socialist (heaven forbid...)

This album is heavy, it's a lot to deal with, it's dense yet populist, there's not a bad song on it, and will definitely make my top ten if I am around to write it.  Enjoy what you can with the time you have left.  Tomorrow is an act of faith.  Keep fighting.  Four stars.


And that'll do it.  I have at least four ideas in the pipeline for the next episode, we'll have to see which one I finish first, but three of them will definitely be different, so stick around to see what I have cooking up.  Check you later.  Peace...