Music Reviews: Shapes & Colors, Angelique Kidjo, Plini, Ninja Sex Party, Death Cab For Cutie, Pig Destroyer, KEN Mode, Fiona Silver and Sevendust

Before we get started, there's two things:

I think I might be changing how I score reviews.  I've noticed other reviewers that use a 0 to 5 scale put albums they like more toward the 4 range and I always bog everything down in the 3s.  I feel like people might get the wrong idea about how much I enjoyed something if I give it a three and a half, because it turns out I've really been scoring on a 0 to 4 and a half scale this whole time.  So starting after the Vinnie Paul Retrospective (which still has two to four more entries to go, God help us all...), I'll be adjusting my scale up at least half a star going forward.  There's too many reviews to go back through and change, so this will have to be an errata, not an edit.  (That includes these, so add a half star if you think it's appropriate.)

[For those that don't know, here's the current scale:

0 Stars: Garbo.
*: Had one thing I liked a little, but mostly still garbo.
**: Serviceable but not memorable.
***: Good.  Most albums I like end up between this and:
****: Great!  Albums I expect to be listening to for years to come.
*****: Love at first listen.  All three albums I gave this did not live up to scrutiny so it's just as well I'm moving the scale.]

Second piece of business: the first review I have here is from a band that asked me to write one for them!  That's never happened before!  I feel honored!  And it only took me...two years to get to it.  Crap.

I can plead depression, I can plead "Life got in the way", I can plead "Worst year of my life" (all of which are true; fuck 2017 forever), but in the end it was still me who dropped the ball.  This has been on my "To do" list since they contacted me in either late 2016 or early 2017 (I couldn't find the Tweet or DM to be specific, but I'm pretty sure it was from Twitter).  Well, I've finally gotten to it, so here we are.  Let's review:

Shapes & Colors "Love/Sex/War" *** and 2/3

Hearing hints of Alien Ant Farm, Incubus, Minus The Bear, Weezer and Chevelle put through a pop lens.  It's well produced with good guitar tone, impactful drums, the mix is impeccable and the vocals have just the right amount of effects.  It's slick, but in the sense of the professional; you get the sense that a group of human beings is playing music and not a ProTools console.  This EP has energy to it, passion.  I like hearing things like this because even though it ain't reinventing the wheel, it's the exception not the rule now to hear solid rock releases.  It's a refreshing change of pace to hear something that a) Is doing its own thing, even if that thing sounds poppy (that move is secretly more punk than you realize) and b) Isn't quantized all to hell.  (Sorry it took me two years to get to it!)

Plini "Sunhead" *** and 2/5

If you're looking for technical flourish without the brutality but not without a little bite, Plini is the perfect intersection.  Four proggy songs in exactly 20 minutes.  He makes it seem effortless, but if you tried to do it you'd sprain your brain.  Tracks 1 and 4 stood out the most.

Sevendust "All I See Is War" **

Better production than their last few, but other than tracks 1, 2, 4 and 6 there's not anything memorable I hear on first listen.  To be fair, I remember a combined three or four songs from their last 10 years of output, so...that's an improvement?  It's solid if you like Sevendust, but I feel like I've heard better versions of some of these songs before.

Pig Destroyer "Head Cage" *** and 1/2

I gotta admit, I don't know much about this band other than MetalSucks laps their cum up like nectar.  I keep hearing them referred to, so I guess I should dive in an take a listen.  I was pleasantly surprised when I finally gave Ghost a chance earlier this summer, so maybe lightning will strike twice.

The album takes a while to get going.  The intro is a trip to the multipurpose room by way of Ministry, but then "Dark Train" careens through, does its thing then leaves.  I'm feeling like with better vocals this could be something, but he's a little too whiny when trying to be agro.  "Army Of Cops" is better, but because of the squeaky clean production it's not something I'd return to.  I'm actually getting flashbacks to the Sevendust album, except the playing on this is faster, looser and tuned down to A.  I could see "Circle River" being a Sevendust song to be honest: slow it down a little and have Lajon sing over the top.  Morgan Rose's yelling ain't much better than dude here, so it would fit right in.

Everybody I hear talk about this band is like "Yo, they're so brutal!", but this is either not the right album to start with, or their idea of brutality is safe.  Of course as soon as I type that, "The Torture Fields" goes apeshit and proves me wrong.  THIS is more like it!  Even the vocals aren't bothering me on this one.  I think they just fit this kind of song better.  But yeah, "Torture Fields" bodies the first four.  "Terminal Itch" and "Concrete Beast" continue to keep it tense and I'm starting to get into this.  The pieces are starting to come together, and I'm thinking I might have to listen a few times to make everything cohese properly.

Yeah, I take back my criticism of the vocals.  It's not about aesthetic, it's about atmosphere (yes those are two different things).  What I thought of as whine is actually fear, frustration and voice cracking adrenaline; "The Adventures Of Jason And Jr" is someone being chased by an unspeakable horror and trying like fuck to escape.  "Mt. Skull" sounds like "Remission" era Mastodon with a fraction of the fucks to give.  Man, once this album gets going, it really gets moving.  I actually respect the slow beginning now because it really illustrates how this Katamari of severed demon limbs started rolling down the hill and lost all control.

The riffs on "The Last Song" are right up my alley as far as metal goes.  Aggression and groove without pretension; bruising and precise, so you understand exactly what's being done to you and why your antagonist thinks you deserve it.  I was not expecting to enjoy this album and I certainly wasn't expecting to write a whole page on it.  I like surprises, and this definitely delivers.

Angelique Kidjo "Remain In Light" *** and 1/2

The best-selling artist in African music history just covered an entire Talking Heads album and it's pretty rad.  I recommend the whole album but if you need convincing, "Once In A Lifetime" and "Born Under Punches" are where to start.  (I love the album cover too.  Yo, I'm in that Light.  You want some?)

KENmode "Loved" ** and 2/3

If Steve Albini had followed "In Utero" up by producing Unsane in 1994 and had a hand in writing some of the songs, this is what would've come out.  Not normally something I'd jam, but after listening to Pig Destroyer, I guess I'm just in the mood for some noisy, slammy shit.  It's kinda sloppy, but by design and never feels out of control.  Also: Completely random Sax solos are a trope in metal this year.  "The Illusion Of Dignity" is the fourth or fifth time this has happened.  I dig it.  These vocals are SUPER not my shit, but they fit the music so well that I can look past it.  If you find the right stew for the right ingredients, you can make anything work.

The riffs on this album are the right balance of noise and crushing weight.  Definitely builds the tension well.  The spell kind of wears off by the end of "This Is A Love Test", but that song in a vacuum is decent; I'm just going through agro fatigue.  2018 is the first year of my life that I'm not constantly mad or sad or afraid in the background of every second of consciousness, and keeping my rage boner up for this and Pig Destroyer back to back is not as easy as it used to be.  That being said, two of the last three songs are okay on their own, but they feel like only one of them should be there.  (Whatever you pick, just don't make it "No Gentle Art"; that's where this thing truly goes off the rails.)

Fiona Silver "Thunder And Lightning" (Single) ***

Smoldering, sexy blues.

Ninja Sex Party "Cool Patrol" *** and 1/3

I watch way more Game Grumps than I should, so it's not surprising to me that I dig this.  Danny has an incredibly pure voice and the Sexbang character is the perfect balance of clueless rock star getting his comeuppance.  "First Date" is really funny and "Eating Food In The Shower" is so dumb it works.  The title track is pretty great as well.  But where I really lost it was the surprise attack of a chorus on "Courtship Of The Mermaid".  Just...head in hands hyperventilation.  I'm not gonna spoil it; just listen to it for yourself.

As music it's not 100% my jam; it's sounds a little too novelty-ish at points, but as a comedy album it's pretty solid.  Also, the guitar solos are all on point.  Ninja Brian cuts shit up.

Death Cab For Cutie "Thank You For Today" *

I knew going in this album would be trash, and sadly I was right.  I'm not your typical Death Cab fan (despite being a sad, lonely mid-to-late 30's white dude with a beard) in that I got in around "Plans" and prefer the albums from then on to their earlier stuff (the fanbase seems to feel the opposite way).  "Kintsugi" was...milquetoast at best, but even milquetoast can be good if you're having breakfast and you're not in the mood for super exciting or super complicated faire.  It has its merits is what I'm saying.

THIS is like somebody left "Kintsugi" out in the rain.  MAN this was featureless.  Say what you want about the flavor of this band at any given point in their career, but at least you could tell it was them.  This is just dude (I refuse to look up his name even though I'm brain farting pretty hard and I used to know this) singing over muzak.  "I Dream...

...

I shit you not.

While I was typing that sentence, I had the strongest sense of deja vu in my life.  A dream I not only remember, but made a note to remember INSIDE THE DREAM just happened in real life.  That I was reviewing a Death Cab album, the screen in front of me looked exactly the same and my phone was to the left of me, which isn't usually where I put it.  The date was even the same.  For ten seconds, I experienced something I dreamt six months ago.  In the dream, I even knew this would come up as deja vu.  WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ME?!?!?!

Anyway, this album blows.  "I Dreamt We Spoke Again", "Northern Lights" and "60 & Punk" are the only things that even sort of stood out.  But God is the rest forgettable.  I'll remember "Gold Rush" at least, for how it sounds like a Busch Beer commercial from the 90's the way it says its name after every line.  "Buschhhh" ||| "Gold Rushhhhh".  If you know what I'm talking about you'll hear it.

(By the way, this review was not a bit to liven up an otherwise unmercifully dull album.  Everything I said was true.  I need to figure out how to plant hints for myself in my dreams to make the connection last longer.  It's not super practical considering I barely remember my dreams or that the ones I do get deja vu from are painfully mundane, or that I can't really affect my life in any way by having this knowledge, but holy SHIT I need to rethink some things...)


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