Skip to main content



"The IT Factor" Bobby Roode VS Rey Mysterio, Jr.

As good as Bobby Roode is (and as much as he DESPERATELY deserves better than TNfuckingA), Rey-Rey has been a bonafide ball of awesome his whole career.  Say what you want about his size; he deserved to win MORE world championships.  Mysterio advances.


Batista VS "Dr. Death" Steve Williams

This one will no doubt shrivel the ball sacs of the wrestling purists out there, but I gotta go with Batista on this one.  Yes, Dr. Death had talent.  And yes, he too deserved much more than what his wrestling career wound up providing him (not to mention he should still be alive; FUCK cancer).  And HOLY SHIT yes, he was part of a goddamned tag team called the Miracle Violence Connection which is the best tag team name ever, but people seem to always forget about Batista.  (Lately, they're forgetting how they built him the first time, now that Roman Reigns is basically floundering as John Cena 2.0.  He should be Batista 2.0.  But I digress.)

Batista was BIG in 2005.  He beat Triple H three PPV's in a row after winning the Royal Rumble.  Injury prone?  Yes.  A less than stellar worker?  Maybe, maybe not.  Over-rated?  I'd say no.  People forget he used to be: a) decent at his role and b) A big flippin' deal.  Looking back, it seems like he was the chosen one and not John Cena.  Cena was the alternative who just happened to step up and take advantage when Batista was injured.  At least that's how one can look at it.

Anyway, Dave B. has six world championships, including the longest run with the big gold belt under the WWE banner of anyone.  This would've been a crazy match though; hard hitting, full of impact.  Being that JR and Williams were friends, it's only fitting to put the "slobberknocker" tag on this one.


The Undertaker VS Raven

What about me?  WHAT ABOUT RAVEN?!?!?!
[Bell tolls; lights go out; lights come back on; Ring is empty]
JR: Apparently, we are being joined by "Johnny Polo" on commentary.  [Ross air quotes when saying "Johnny Polo".]
Polo: That's right.  And this is gonna be a helluva fight.  I wonder where Raven went?  He was just here a minute ago...
JR: Oh, for the love of...
[Lights go out again; Come up again; Taker is beside Polo]
JR: I uh...I think you better turn around...
Polo: What's goin' on around here?  Somebody forget to pay the electric billUGHLGL!!!
[Taker goozles Polo, throws him in ring.  Polo is out the other side and up the ramp...]
JR: Quicker than a hiccup!
[Thank you.  Taker wins by countout.  But DAMN it was fun to explore Scott Levy's early chicken shit heel work.  Raven was an awesome character, but I actually think Scott Anthony in the GWF was some of his best work.]


Whipper Billy Watson VS Randy Orton

An interesting matchup, since I don't quite remember who Whipper Billy Watson is.  Since round three, all the information I've researched on him has fallen out of my brain, and I've had to do some reading/watching to see if he could hang with the Apex Predator of the WWE.

The answer is a definite YES.  He is the man that ended Lou Thez's six year reign as NWA Champion, and though he only held it for eight months, he successfully defended it against Pat O'Connor, Buddy Rogers, Bobo Brazil, Killer Kowalski and Fritz Von Erich.  Weirdly enough, I can't say that Randy Orton has any such victory under his belt.  He's held twelve world championships, and even though he's defended them in the main event of several Wrestlemanias (and even UNIFIED the two WWE World Championships at the end of 2013), has he ever had a victory or even a title run that's actually MATTERED?  No.  Ending Lou Thez's run is a fucking accomplishment.  Orton can be really good sometimes, but...has he ever been great?

That being said, however, Randy Orton looks better in the ring.  Granted, there is VERY little to go on here, but given that when Orton wants to have an excellent match he can deliver, and given that "The Whip" failed to impress me at all, I'm going to go with Randy Orton.  We'll just pretend that, just this once, Billy Watson whipped him into shape and he lived up to all that fucking potential he wastes on shitty promos and chinlocks.


Rey Mysterio defeats Bobby Roode
Batista defeats Dr. Death
Undertaker defeats Raven/Johnny Polo/Scotty Flamingo/Scott Anthony
Randy Orton defeats Billy Watson

Come on back for Brackets XXI-XXIV!


Popular posts from this blog


This has certainly been a heck of a thing.

Writing this started out as a labor of love to a subgenre of rock and roll that came along at the perfect time for me (both when I was entering middle school in the bottom 5 of the popularity pecking order and when I started buying albums at the impressionable age of 11).  It obviously took a long time to put together: August 29th, 2016 is when I began planning, May 24th is when I wrote the last entry, the wee hours of August 1st, 2017 is when I finished proofreading and uploading the entries to the blog with video links, and here I am typing these words on August 15th.

The elephant in the room is this genre seems to be built on death.  Three of the four frontmen of these bands are dead, one of which occurred during the run of this series.  (Shouts to Alice In Chains bassist Mike Starr as well.  R.I.P.)  On top of that, Pearl Jam only exists because the lead singer of Mother Love Bone died, causing that band to break up.  If you go down the nex…

THE TOP 20 SONGS OF 2017 (Updated)

Here it is: My favorite songs of 2017.  This podcast won't be up forever so listen while you can before I end up putting something else up on Soundcloud (with its 3 hour limit ass).  [BLOGGER'S NOTE: The Top Albums podcast was longer than I anticipated, so it's already down.  Sorry.  Instead, I've linked to the songs below.]  I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor.  This year has been better than quite a few in recent memory, which took me by surprise.  Music is pretty sweet if you know where to look.

20. "Gucci" Qveen Herby
19. "Learn To Let Go" Kesha
18. "New York" St. Vincent
17. "Praying" Kesha
16. "Avalanche Alley" The New Pornographers
15. "Automaton" Robotaki
14. "Dreams" Beck
13. "Them Changes" Thundercat
12. "Woman" Kesha
11. "Rainbow" Kesha
10. "Automaton" Jamiroquai
9. "Constellations" Grant & Jessi Mason
8. "Wow Wow" Neil Cicierega
7. &qu…

R.I.P. Chris Cornell

The Grunge Match is suspended indefinitely.

I don't know when it will resume.  This hits way too close to home for way too many reasons.

As far as writing goes, I just did Match 112 Tuesday night.  I have no interest in going back through and making this a love letter to the departed, nor bashing him for tearing our hearts out.  I have no idea when I'll be able to even listen to Soundgarden again, and when I do, it won't be the fucking same so there's no way I can give any kind of objective rating.  Chris Cornell was the soul of that band, the thing that took sludge with a few acrobatic musical flourishes and made it into the hellfire slinging, metal rending monster that it needed to be.

So yeah.  This one hurts.  The man is dead.  The music remains, but is changed forever.  His friends, family and fans are suffering incalculable grief.  There's not much more to say, so silence seems like the best option.