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"The IT Factor" Bobby Roode VS Rey Mysterio, Jr.

As good as Bobby Roode is (and as much as he DESPERATELY deserves better than TNfuckingA), Rey-Rey has been a bonafide ball of awesome his whole career.  Say what you want about his size; he deserved to win MORE world championships.  Mysterio advances.


Batista VS "Dr. Death" Steve Williams

This one will no doubt shrivel the ball sacs of the wrestling purists out there, but I gotta go with Batista on this one.  Yes, Dr. Death had talent.  And yes, he too deserved much more than what his wrestling career wound up providing him (not to mention he should still be alive; FUCK cancer).  And HOLY SHIT yes, he was part of a goddamned tag team called the Miracle Violence Connection which is the best tag team name ever, but people seem to always forget about Batista.  (Lately, they're forgetting how they built him the first time, now that Roman Reigns is basically floundering as John Cena 2.0.  He should be Batista 2.0.  But I digress.)

Batista was BIG in 2005.  He beat Triple H three PPV's in a row after winning the Royal Rumble.  Injury prone?  Yes.  A less than stellar worker?  Maybe, maybe not.  Over-rated?  I'd say no.  People forget he used to be: a) decent at his role and b) A big flippin' deal.  Looking back, it seems like he was the chosen one and not John Cena.  Cena was the alternative who just happened to step up and take advantage when Batista was injured.  At least that's how one can look at it.

Anyway, Dave B. has six world championships, including the longest run with the big gold belt under the WWE banner of anyone.  This would've been a crazy match though; hard hitting, full of impact.  Being that JR and Williams were friends, it's only fitting to put the "slobberknocker" tag on this one.


The Undertaker VS Raven

What about me?  WHAT ABOUT RAVEN?!?!?!
[Bell tolls; lights go out; lights come back on; Ring is empty]
JR: Apparently, we are being joined by "Johnny Polo" on commentary.  [Ross air quotes when saying "Johnny Polo".]
Polo: That's right.  And this is gonna be a helluva fight.  I wonder where Raven went?  He was just here a minute ago...
JR: Oh, for the love of...
[Lights go out again; Come up again; Taker is beside Polo]
JR: I uh...I think you better turn around...
Polo: What's goin' on around here?  Somebody forget to pay the electric billUGHLGL!!!
[Taker goozles Polo, throws him in ring.  Polo is out the other side and up the ramp...]
JR: Quicker than a hiccup!
[Thank you.  Taker wins by countout.  But DAMN it was fun to explore Scott Levy's early chicken shit heel work.  Raven was an awesome character, but I actually think Scott Anthony in the GWF was some of his best work.]


Whipper Billy Watson VS Randy Orton

An interesting matchup, since I don't quite remember who Whipper Billy Watson is.  Since round three, all the information I've researched on him has fallen out of my brain, and I've had to do some reading/watching to see if he could hang with the Apex Predator of the WWE.

The answer is a definite YES.  He is the man that ended Lou Thez's six year reign as NWA Champion, and though he only held it for eight months, he successfully defended it against Pat O'Connor, Buddy Rogers, Bobo Brazil, Killer Kowalski and Fritz Von Erich.  Weirdly enough, I can't say that Randy Orton has any such victory under his belt.  He's held twelve world championships, and even though he's defended them in the main event of several Wrestlemanias (and even UNIFIED the two WWE World Championships at the end of 2013), has he ever had a victory or even a title run that's actually MATTERED?  No.  Ending Lou Thez's run is a fucking accomplishment.  Orton can be really good sometimes, but...has he ever been great?

That being said, however, Randy Orton looks better in the ring.  Granted, there is VERY little to go on here, but given that when Orton wants to have an excellent match he can deliver, and given that "The Whip" failed to impress me at all, I'm going to go with Randy Orton.  We'll just pretend that, just this once, Billy Watson whipped him into shape and he lived up to all that fucking potential he wastes on shitty promos and chinlocks.


Rey Mysterio defeats Bobby Roode
Batista defeats Dr. Death
Undertaker defeats Raven/Johnny Polo/Scotty Flamingo/Scott Anthony
Randy Orton defeats Billy Watson

Come on back for Brackets XXI-XXIV!


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