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Showing posts from April, 2011

68 - Correction: Aquabats' New Album Is Actually The Bees Knees! (3/11/11)

On Jan. 20th, I did an album review blog ("30 Seconds With Nick Nutter...Now With 60 More Seconds!") where I gave The Aquabats! new album a one st*r, whack review. Over the last few weeks, I came to realize I was just being a Mr. Grumpy Pants about the whole thing, and I actually sat down and listened to the samples in depth. So here's the revised review, son:

The Aquabats! "Hi-Five Soup!" *** and 9/16
The album has songs about how awesome it is to pop a wheelie, food fights on the moon, guest spots from Biz Markie and Strong Bad, and has all the fun and charm you'd expect out of an Aquabats! adventure. Especially now that it's spring, I highly recommend it.

There. Off my chest. Be on the lookout for Dick Cheney's Sniper School and info on exactly what the hell that is. Peace!

(Also, prayers go out to the victims of the massive Japanese earthquake. I wanted to keep things upbeat, but sometimes shit gets real.)

67 - Looking Back... (3/10/11)

From 2003-2005, I stopped writing words and started writing music. The reason behind this was I had this really misguided notion that music was the best way to convey emotion, and words were just superfluous. Anyway, instrumentals are not a good way to get your point across. And I desperately wanted to share it with the world, but problem is 1) Nobody likes instrumentals, and 2) Nobody wants to hear your stupid band. Your friends might pretend to like it, but really (even though I'll jam out to them now and again) the albums I made in that period are just noises. (Some of them quite literally.) It was the only way I knew how to describe the feeling you get as your early 20s disappear into your mid 20s and you aren't ruling the world yet. Through electronic screeches and quiet minor key passages torn asunder by bass drops.

By the end of this period, I was copping the attitude "Yeah, I'm weird. Bite me." and deliberately generating misunderstanding. (Well, for the…

66 - 1996, The Blog (3/8/11)

1996 (or: Let's Hear It For The Bad Guys)
Maralyn Manson. The NWO. The bullys at my High School. It was a banner year for bad guys all around, and just trying and failing to be edgy. Welcome to another retro blog, counting down my favorite releases from a particular year.

One thing I would like to note before we get started is that I've been putting off doing this blog for more than a year, and I don't really see myself doing these retro countdowns ever again. It's literally six hours of work to write ten pages about...some year in music some of you are too young to remember.  But hey, I wrote it, so let's put this fucker up and take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

85. Body Count "Violent Demise: The Last Days"
Holy shit, is this album bad.

84. Downset "Do We Speak A Dead Language?"
83. M.O.M.: Music For Our Mother Ocean
82. Betrayal At Krondor OST
81. Lords Of Acid "Lust"

80. 2Pac "All Eyez On Me"
To be fair, the rank…

65 - Your Mom's Face Is My New Speed Bag (And My Bag Is Her New...You Get The Point) (2/18/11)


What's up, y'all? Nick Nutter returns with album reviews, no less. Here's a rating's system for ya:

0 Stars: Scott Walker
*: Intestinal Parasites (at least they might help you lose weight; glass half full, people)
**: The bare minimum effort.
***: Cheerios. (Because that's what I'm in the mood for right now, and that's as good a reason as any for anything.)
****: More than anybody got this week.
*****: Only been given out twice since I started this blog.

All right; once again it's on, just like this condom. I don't know where your mom's been, y'heard? I'm goin' in.

Arcade Fire "The Suburbs"
The Shock Heard 'Round The World: "Arcade Fire won best album? WTF?" Nobody, even the people in the academy that voted for this expected it to win the award. And what I'm left trying to understand is the appeal of the music; why do people go crazy for this neutered, safe, boring, tepid brand of indie schlock…

64 - 30 Seconds With Nick Nutter, Now With 60 More Seconds!!! (1/20/11)

For the first time since September 1st, I return with "30 Seconds With Nick Nutter"! Let's see if I can make this fun again for you and I both... (Also, I should note that new iTunes songs usually give a 90 second sample, much for that.)

The scoring system stays the same, zero to five stars (denoted after the title; if it's blank it's zero, if there's *****, you're not reading this week's blog).

And awaaaay we go!

The Decembrists "The King Is Dead" **
I'm not familiar enough with this band to know how they're "supposed" to sound, but judging from the comments section, people are none too pleased at the infusions of bluegrass. There are one or two songs on here that caught my ear (the opener especially), but most of them are damn same-y to get the album off the ground. As it is, the song they keep permutating over and over again is only good one or two different ways, and doing it eleven times is overkill.

63 - What Happens When You Don't Feel Like Writing (1/14/11)

Here's another random thing I wrote. I think it was for the Eden's Rage press kit (which we never assembled, to my knowledge) back when I was in a band. (I think I'm in one now too, but I don't pay enough attention, really.)

Point is, here's some random fucking thing I tried to pass of as a biography at the time:

Nick Nutter-Drums
(Aforementioned percussionist attempted the lofty task of summarizing his life in a few words, but ended up with far too many. (Half of which were expletives anyway.) (m*****f*****!) So in lieu of a straighforward piece of non-fiction prose, this dumb schmuck decided to submit a poem which has nothing to do with any bi-pedial organism walking the face of the tip of mother nature’s left mamarry gland, much less the “drummer” in question.)

Teatime For Nosnikid Ylime
Glna’arb trode the mountain tops
Teleporting over their finger-like masses in a macrocosmic
          metaphor of prestidigitation
Hark! His octocrane o’pes:
“I do say, kind …

62 - Majoring In Supervillainy (1/4/11)

[This blog should have gone inbetween the best of 2010 blogs.]

Here is something I stumbled across on my hard drive. It was written for a Mental Floss scholarship contest back in 2008. Since it's somewhat amusing, I figured: What the hell, why not?

Hello. My name is Nicholas Nutter. It's been a tough ride getting to college. I did four years of factory work before going back to school, and found it to be wholly unsatisfying. I just wasn't learning the skills I wished to acquire. Like how to build a Death Ray.

You see, like my peers, I strived to one day be a Super Villain. Unfortunately, my only powers are data entry, an abundance of music trivia knowledge, and my love of tacos, which is both super and powerful. So I quit school to do factory work.

Like so many other foolish kids, I thought I could obtain the skills and parts to build a Death Ray by simply working in the field. I mean, somebody's got to be building them, right? Alas, as those poor souls before me, I fai…

61 - Welcome To Nutterblog (12/??/10)

[This blog went before the 2010 ones.  I kinda goofed.]

Hello. My name is Nick Nutter, and welcome to my blog.

With this blog I intend to cleave popular culture with a rapiur wit to deflate its pompocity, delve deeply into issues that require...delving...and sometimes just get on some dumb shit and make fart noises.

In short, I'm a normal guy with a big vocabulary. I want to make people think and have fun.

My previous blog was mainly for music reviews, but this one will cover a wider range of topics. (Though my first two posts will be about the Year In Music 2010, so don't get scared.) If anything, I'm hoping this will keep me writing enough that I will want to finish my novel. Time will tell.

If you're reading this, I'm glad to have you aboard. Really, I mean that. People are what life is all about.

60 - The Best Albums Of 2010 (1/9/11)

I've been doing a review blog in my spare time since 2006 over on MySpace, usually doing album reviews based solely on 30 second sound samples from iTunes. Every year I do a "Year In Review", counting down the albums I've procured over the last 365 days, providing commentary where I feel like it.
All right, then. Let's point and laugh at my fucked up music tastes, shall we?

Honorable mentions:

Janelle Monet "Archandroid"
I had heard "Tightrope" a few times during the year and thought "This is OK." and thought little more about it. Then I heard her on NPR playing a ten minute sweet that sounded like four songs were happening at once and production wise was coming through an interdimensional rift. (I could not believe she was doing this shit live!) I haven't got the album yet, and even if I did I wouldn't have had time to digest it before posting this blog. Besides, now that the holidays are over and the next semester hasn'…

59 - Songs Of The Year, 2010 (12/27/10)

[Blogger's Note: This was the first real post I made on Blogspot.  So now that the serpent eating its own tail is up to its own cheeks, I will be folding the page into this one once I catch up with the postings, and I will just rename this one NutterBlog.  Look for that sometime next week.

Also, since this countdown was three months ago, I would change the number one spot to "Locked Inside" by Janelle Monet.  And some Kanye West songs would infiltrate this shit too.  "Of all time.  Think about it." -K. West.]

1. Coheed & Cambria "Here We Are Juggernaut"
2. Gorillaz "Empire Ants"
3. Ben Folds "From Above"
4. Coheed & Cambria "Guns Of Summer"
5. Periphery "Insomnia"
6. Gorillaz "Stylo"
7. Minus The Bear "My Time"
8. Intronaut "Core Relations"
9. Devo "Don't Shoot (I'm A Man)"
10. The GV Crew "Shotgun"
11. T…

58 - Back To School. Back To The OLD School (9/21/10)

Every once in awhile, I blog about a past year in the style of my year-end reviews. Well, since the 1996 review is taking a little longer to write than I thought (thanks a lot, complete lack of motivation/Moving/Road tripping to Tennessee), I decided I'd go to the other end of the spectrum and knock out a few years toward the bottom. By using iTunes as a reference, the first year with at least five entries is 1963, so here's lookin' at you, boomers! It's the 1960's blogs:

5. The Beatles "with The Beatles"
There's a little secret about this most legendary group of all time: Before "Rubber Soul", they kinda sucked. Hard. Sure, there's a few break out songs (a lot of which were covers), but most of the lyrics have the depth of a Backstreet Boys song and are the musical equivalent of unpainted dry wall. The song "Money" ("that's...what I want", which The Rolling Stones also covered around the same time) is the o…

57 - What Do It Done Did? (9/1/10)


0 Stars – Mo wack den a big mac
1 Star – WWE level “entertainment” (seriously; fuck that shit lately)
2 Stars – Eh...meh.
3 Stars – I bob my head.
4 Stars – I throw the horns.
5 Stars – I shit my pants.

Le’z go.

Katy Perry “Teenage Dream”
With “ah-oh ah-oh”s as annoying as a jackhammer and lyrics vacuous enough to suck the debris out of the ensuing hole, dis bitch is the perfect storm of terrible. Her voice ain’t good; not in the slightest, and even if she said something that didn’t sound like it came from a valley girl See & Say, I wouldn’t want to hear it. Given what I’ve written about this album so far, I’m shocked I didn’t give it a negative rating, but I guess I just can’t care enough to hate it that much. (Though “California Gurls” does make my skin crawl.)

Fantasia “Back To Me”

Apocalyptica “7thSymphony”
A parody of a once interesting band. Their cellos sound so much like guitars now, there’s no reason to even use them; the leads are quarter note draws across t…